SILENCE! #232

July 14th, 2017

“SOME LIKE IT SCOTT!”

With The Family Beast still busy chewing on cigars with the big boys of Amazon “Optimus” Prime, mere minutes away from negotiating a deal that will see them broadcast into living rooms and pockets across the world, Gary Lactus is forced to do the one thing he didn’t want to do…. negotiate with the Skype-inept monsters of Mindless North for a second episode running.

Despite the usual technical problems that occur when North and South try to get together – blame Nicola Sturgeon for nationalising Scottish Skype in a better reality! – Gary Lactus is joined by Illogical Volume and Mister Attack, their shirts wet with rain, their bellies full of macaroni and rage.

<ITEM!> Who sponsors Gary Lactus? Some guy called Dave.  Who sponsors the sponsemen?  Fuck it, I dunno, Geoff Johns probably.

<ITEM!> The gang discuss the recent Small Press Day, the life changing/band forming dangers of encountering strange works by shifty creators in darkened rooms and the explosive properties of turtles.

<ITEM!> Shifting effortlessly out of the classical forms he has already mastered and into the new realm of Perhaps, R. Gary R.R.R. Lactus presents his new science fiction masterpiece: A Westworld.

<ITEM! > The question of who the nicest Mindless One is raised again.  Will Illogical Volume prove that he is actually a callow, cynical monster whose whole existence is a lie perpetrated against human decency by actually holding a twitter poll to determine whether people think he is nicer than Mister Attack?  Only time will tell.

 

<ITEM!> In SILENCE!…Because The Film Has Started, Gary Lactus is surprised by Spider-Man: Homecoming, and the Scottish are grumpy about Marvel movies and enthusiastic about gingers and ants.

<ITEM!> With all the relevant admin taken care of, the trio dive arse-first into the Reviewniverse for purposeful wallow in the  inky pleasures of comics.  John Allison’s Giant Days, new non-hierarchical/anonymous arts project SLABAl Ewing, Dan Brown and Travel Foreman’s Ultimates 2 (which Illogical Volume has finally started to read!), Craig Collins’ Oubliette, Hot Trash Dimension and Ross Geller Fanzine, the cosy era of the Justice LeagueGumby comics, and the wonderful info-comics produced by the University of Glasgow’s Wellcome Centre for Molecular Parasitology.

After making a speedy exit from the Reviewniverse, the team take a brief detour through the pages of Show Call…

…and tolerate Illogical Volume promoting Cut-Out Witch (drawn by the wonderful Lynne Henderson), Looking Glass Heights and Living Rent before heading off in search of more dinner.

 

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This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

IF YOU’VE GOT A PEN IN YOUR HAND YOU’VE JUST GOTTA DRAW THE MOST IMPORTANT GLANDS

On the 5th of November 2016 at 11.50AM at the Thought Bubble comics festival in Leeds, something happened that would change the course of human civilization forever. An event that would give the free citizens of Earth to fight against the coming oppressors. This event was, of course, SILENCE! To Astonish!

The aptly named Cinema Of War played host to this titanic team-up between Gary Lactus, The Beast Must Die and Al Kennedy from House To Astonish. They were extremely lucky enough to enjoy the company of John Allison, Ryan North, Brenden Fletcher and Emi Lenox. Bless them all, they really had to put up with some nonsense!

LOOK AT THIS FABULOUS GALLERY OF VISUAL AIDS!

SILENCE! #119

October 21st, 2014

HELLO LISTENER and welcome to SILENCE!!!!?! It’s a SPECIAL EPISODE this week as THE BEAST is off answering the battle challenge of a deadly horse that will KILL AGAIN unless STOPPED!!! And leaving GARY LACTUS to face his spaceship alone! But what’s this??????? SPECIAL GUEST AL EWING here to talk SHOP, or rather SHOPS as he immediately launches into a tediously long mention of BUDGENS SUPERMARKET. And the THRILLS don’t end there. IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:::::

ITEM! Sponsorship discussed! Tom Baker sold a dictionary! The twist in the tale will COMPEL you!!!?!

ITEM! Superman? Or POOPERMAN? Secrets of Supes’ Poop Tube! Hear tell of the EXTRAORDINARY ANAL POWER Superman tried to hide!!!!!!

ITEM! Long discussions of KINK and MUNCHES in your local area! OH JOY SEX TOY discussed! Plus webcomics talk as BAD MACHINERY is plumbed and PUNISHER 2099 gets a HOT MENTION! Also TREES!

ITEM! In depth on the strange small press offering known as BRUTE! What was it? Very problematic in places! But Al reads a story from it out anyway in his INIMITABLE TONE!?!?!?!???

ITEM! Duff talk of reality shows! The BOOM BOOM BOOM and the BOOM BOOM WOW! Work Of Art: The Next Great Artist mentioned! WORK OF FART — MORE LIKE! “Your guff was not enough” screams Tyra Banks as she SMITES WITH HER EYES!!!

ITEM! Annihilator DISCUSSED! Frazer Irving PRAISED! Then we wrap it up so Gary can PEE!! LIKE A RACEHORSE!!! Perhaps the very same racehorse that THE BEAST MUST DIE IS HITTING WITH A HAMMER!!!! AT THIS VERY MOMENT!!!!!?!!1!!!!!!!

ITEM! ITEM! ITEM! NO FURTHER ITEM!!!???!!???????!??!?????????!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!?!?!!

Click to download SILENCE!#119

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This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.