August 3rd, 2015
STOP MAKING THAT BIG FACE!
It was the best of blurbs, it was the worst of blurbs…
Wait, so which was it? MAKE UP YOUR MIND!
Well..okay then it was the best of blurbs..
REALLY? You better be sure about that. That’s a bold claim.
Ummm… okay then it was ONE of the best of blurbs. It..
Well that’s hardly very important sounding is it? Why are you making a song and dance about ONE of the best of blurbs? There are GOOD blurbs everywhere! They’re ten a penn. JEEZ! You really are a self important arse. Stop wasting my time.
It was..the..it was…*sob* it was…
<ITEM> Welcome weary travellers. Rest your tweeting thumbs, take off them stinking boots and give them dogs a well-earned rest. It’s a CLASSIC line-up with Gary Lactus on bass guitar and The Beast Must Die on lead Keytar…and they are both rocking the main stage! It’s SILENCE! the comics podcast for waifs and strays.
<ITEM> Sponsorshingles, and some reckymendations..Wet Hot American Summer and Rick & Morty. Then it’s time for our brand new section SILENCE! The Film Has Started with Ant-Man and Lost Souls: The Doomed Journey of Richard Stanley’s Island of Dr Moreau.
<ITEM> And finally the Reviewniverse..the Disneyland of comics based criticism (in that it’s a fucking rip off). The boys break bread and spake of Hawkeye, Batgirl, Batgirl: Annual, Cyborg, E is for Extinction, Dr Fate, Mercy Heat, Hitsville UK, It Will All Hurt, Transformers Vs GI Joe, Stray Bullets, We Stand on Guard, Crickets and more more more (how do you like it?)
<ITEM> Well, what an adventure we’ve all had. Now it’s time for sleepy time, so shhhh.
March 9th, 2015
Oh I just don’t know who my favourite superhero is! You can’t ask that, that’s the hardest question EVER! Okay, if you twisted my arm, like reeeeaaaallly twisted it, and I absolutely had to choose I’d say The Purple Raider. No wait, I’d say Big Lunch…no actually it’d be Spiral Scratch. Or The Ice Breaker. No, hold on The Black Ram. Or The Kite. Or the Jazzler. No okay I’ve changed my mind, it’s Size Queen. Or Rainbow Robo. Or Mr Blister. Mother Time. The Lord of Steam. Phase One. The Living Statue. Cyclobix. Brain-Glow. Blaze 46. Red Harvest. Man-Atee. Advance Guard. The Questeteer. Gilded Lily. Feather Blitz. Governor Zero. Crab-Walk. Mr AARGH. Dry Spot. Cloudbuster. Shocktopus. Pop N Lock. Jellyfish Kiss. The Flickering Flame. Thunder Water. Lazer Lion. Battering Boy. Gene Genie. Terry Titan. The Blender…
STOP ASKING ME IMPOSSIBLE QUESTIONS. I HATE YOU LEAVE ME ALONE AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
<ITEM> And as if by magic…SILENCE! Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die and you of course. You. The Dear Listening You.
<ITEM> Sponsorshenanigans. An Avengers: Age of Ultron exclusive! Plus, the varying hardness of erections?
<ITEM> The podcast is a cannon, the boys are the cannonball, comics are the gunpowder and the target is the Reviewniverse. BOOM! Nameless, Crossed 100, Big Man Plans, Nemo: River of Ghosts, Descender, Hawkeye, Wicked & Divine, Guardians Team Up, Uber, Miracleman and mmmmmuch mmmmmore.
Now is the winter of your discontent. So why not listen to the perfect accompaniment.
February 23rd, 2015
THESE ARE THE FABLES ON MY STREET
It’s Oscar season! You know, that season where it’s okay to hunt people called Oscar! But before you run and grab your pistols, shotguns and catapults, why don’t you rest up for a while and take in the latest podstravaganza from the Dempsey & Makepeace of podcasting, Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die! The podcast is SILENCE!, the time is now and the trousers are TIGHT! Too tight as a matter of fact…I’m seeing lights. Take me to the lights…take me now….
<ITEM> It’s a fist-sized portion of sponsorship, with the usual subjects, and some lovely jingles for some of the dearest of dear listeners. Oh and they talk about ancient ITV gameshow 3,2,1, because, y’know, comics.
<ITEM> The Reviewniverse opens it’s welcoming arms and the boys take it’s embrace. Synergy, cosmic oneness and all that aul shoite…Multiversity: Mastermen, Silver Surfer, Affordable Amazement Catalogue, The Sound of Drowning, 2000AD, Rumble, Transformers Vs GI Joe, Wonder Woman, Hawkeye, and Frank Miller’s Holy Terror all come between the crosshairs.
<ITEM> The final item! Goodbye!