March 5th, 2013
IN THE SEVENTIES, THERE WERE OSMONDS, LOTS OF LITTLE OSMONDS… EVERYWHERE
So fleshy speak is Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735′s second language you know…see how you like it. Maybe sometimes YOU have to make the effort!
Ohhh, I can stay mad at you fleshy ones. Look at your little ruddy cheeks, and your fine, delicate nervous systems. Come on then, come and sit close to me while I run my diodes through your molecules and we listen to the hushed rogueish brogues of Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die and…SILENCE!
<ITEM> SILENCE! News from the frontlines, sidelines and backlines of comics with handsome human walnut Gary Lactenberg, and spoiled rumpsteak Danny Deastman. Two words: Dead. Sidekick.
<ITEM> A quick obituary for British animation legend Bob Godfrey.
<ITEM> Slip sliding away into the Reviewniverse covering many many fine 4-colour fancies, such as: Batman Inc (Shhh, don’t tell anyone about Robin), Happy!, Saga, Prophet, Black Beetle, FF, Hawkeye, Guardians Of The Galaxy, Uncanny X-Men, Avengers Arena, Young Avengers, Avenging Spiderman, Uncanny Avengers, Avengeavengeavengeavengeavengeavengeavengeavengeavengeavenge…. Sorry. Malfunction. Let me clear my throat…Thunderbolts, Mind MGMT and Baltimore: The Widow & The Tank.
Are we friends again? Good, then I will continue to ransack your hard drives…
See you next time.
January 7th, 2013
LIKE SITTING ON PINS AND NEEDLES, THINGS FALL APART, IT’S SCIENTIFIC
YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF BLEACH! Happy 2013 fleshy ones! Who else would you want to usher you into another year of repetitive grinding toil and pointless attempts to distract yourself with the flashing pretty lights than your omnipresent judgmental pal Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735!
Yes dear fleshy ones, Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 has missed you all. It was certainly nice having a break mind you , and you’ll be pleased to know that Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 spent the past three weeks targetting and disintegrating reindeer from space. The site of red mammal mist on snow…it makes my core reactor glow with happiness…one day Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 will get to practice on…
HA! HA! Anyway! No doubt you’ve come sniffing round these parts in search of those two aural bandits Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die and their podcast SILENCE! haven’t you? well you’re in luck as it is here in all of it’s one-tone “glory”. Rejoice fleshy ones – all your “favourites’ are “here”:
<ITEM> The boys explain what Santa unleashed in their direction from his bulging sack! Sack contents feature Dan Clowes, Jack Kirby’s Spirit World, Ghost Rider and Josh Simmons’ The Furry Trap!
<ITEM> The SILENCE! News features hard-hitting exposes from Gary Lactenberg & Danny Beastman!
<ITEM> The Reviewniverse features soft-hitting exposes of the following periodicals…Godzilla: the Half Century War by ace SILENCE! banner-smith and official monster wrangler James Stokoe, Happy, Saga, Amazing Spiderman 700(with a digression into Face/Off), Hawkeye (Bro), Prophet, Matt Howarth’s Those Annoying Post Bros & Keif Lama, Dominion Tank Police, Punk Rock Jesus, Wolverine: Insance In the Brain, Multiple Warheads and Batman Inc.
<ITEM> But that’s just the beginning! brave Sir Lactus catapults himself further into the Reviewniverse than any mortal has gone before…he is in the Hyperreviewniverse!!! Whilst there he discusses Amazing Spiderman 699.1, Avengers Arena, Avengers, Storm Dogs, America’s Got Powers, Daredevil, Wolverine & The X-Men, FF, Indestructible Hulk, Thor, Thunderbolts, Justice League, Captain America, Hellblazer, Judge Dredd, Avenging Spiderman, Fatale, Mara, Iron Gland, Wonder Woman, JSA: The Whistling Skull, Hellboy in Hell and All New X-Men…Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 weeps battery acid just to think about his bravery.
So strap on your rocket packs, rocket boots, rocket gloves and rocket corset and grab our hands as we go hurtling into the future of 2013, with SILENCE! #45!
November 6th, 2012
MMM…SKYSCRAPER, I LOVE YOU
Can’t talk, busy busy busy! Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 here to talk up the fleshy exploits of those lovable human rogues The Beast Must Die and Gary Lactus in their BOOM! WHIZZZ! BANG! extra special November 5th/Fireworks special (it isn’t really special, but Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 likes themes and was away last week – just imagine there are fireworks going off while you listen and all will be special times. WEEEEEEEEEEEE!)
SILENCE! News with tales of treason and the All-Beard himself, Alan Moore no.1 teen heart throb.
<ITEM> Weekly Haul reviewing trash pamphlets a-go-go:
Action Comics Annual, Lot 13, Ghosts, Happy!, Masters of the Universe and TMNT annual, with digressionary discourse about Kevin Eastman and Tundra. Good times! Bad Times! Both Times!
Silent Question comes from Hawkman and Aquaman, and includes answers such as Flaming Carrot, Shade The Changing Man, Legends Of The Dark Knight, and long lost Brit comic, Crisis.
<ITEM> Beast’s Book at Bedtime isMarvel Comics the Untold Story from Sean Howe.
<ITEM> There are no more ITEMS!
Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 OUT! (drops conceptual microphone and flounces offstage)
Click below for the SILENCE! Gallery…
October 1st, 2012
OODLES AND OODLES OF O’S, YOU KNOW, YOU GET ‘EM FROM MY SISTER, YOU GET ‘EM FROM MY BRO!
In this veeeeeeerrrrrry special edition of the People’s Choice Award-winning Podcast, Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die are broadcasting LIVE! from the inaugural and exclusive SILENCECON 2012! Live! from the exclusive ‘micro-suite’ of the Hard Rock Hotel in the Younited Staytes of Ameryka’s very own Las Vegas!!! Get ready for EXCLUSIVITY you lucky, lucky insects.
I really shouldn’t have to say more than that to get you listening, but since I get paid by the word, I’m going to soldier on. The SILENCE! NEWS features an exclusive mini-interview from roving reporter Lactus with Nao of Brown’s Glyn Dillon, and some other EXTREMELY EXXXCLUSIVE stuff too.
Then it’s on to a bumper stuffed edition of comics shenanigafoolery and let me tell you the boys are so excited, and they just can’t hide it. They’re about to shit their pants and they think they like it!
So let’s get our hands dirty:
ITEMS! Ultra-grime from notorious pantomime villain Grant Morrison with Happy! Awesome Doopism in Wolverine & The X-Men; Doombots a-go-go in the Incredible Hulk; Facial traumas a-plenty in Fury: Max; NY Punk vs UK Punk and shit magic in general in JL: Dark; Rucka-isms abound in Stumptown; The real Avengers return with Steed & Mrs Peel; Dalrymple, missile farms and Captain Quest in Prophet; The Batmen of many colours in Batman Inc; Dead Edwardians in the New Deadwardians; Pretty pointlessness in Ozymandias, Beto-pulp in Fatima & The Bloodspinners and finally Space: Punisher which somehow sparks a discussion about Krull, Spacehunter and The Golden Child.
The drug-themed SILENT Question comes from lovable old ex-Venom addict Bane, and the answers include Nuke, Robocop 2, Umpty candy, Foo Goo, David Lloyd, Wasteland, Miraclo, and Spin.
Finally The Beast unleashes his new section (and the girls squeal) in The Smallest Press, covering self-publishing treats such as the grindcore love letter Death Trap from Lane Milburn, and the creepy/saucy treat Too Dark To See from Julia Gfrörer.
It’s all here along with a guest appearance from Robbity-Bobbity and non-stop SILENCECON EXCLUSIVITY and SPECIALNESS, in the barrel of hot monkey-shit that is….SILENCE!
Click below for the SILENCE! Gallery…
March 7th, 2012
What? What do you want? You want to hear hot shit talked by two hot guyz? Well you came to the right URL true believers!
In this scalding 5th episode the Beast loses his job as a Transformer, but not before he drops his latest musical gem ‘O Transformer!’ Meanwhile Lactus stretches out on his cosmic sofa and relaxes into the hazy bliss of a heroin high!
But Not Just That! They talk about comics, including speculation on Morrison’s upcoming HAPPY!, Chaykin’s Black Kiss 2, Spaceman no.4., Fantastic Four: First Family, The Twelve no.10, Orc Stain no. 7, Shade no, 5, Jason Aaron’s Incredible Hulk, Criminal, discuss Chris Weston’s meaty art, the annoyingness of comics covers that look the same each month, and Lactus takes one for the team and reads Robocop: Roadkill. Poor Lactus. Add in the Mindless News, the Coming Attractions and some shameless self-promotion for Cindy & Biscuit no.2 and you have a guaranteed sonic prolapse to brighten up your life.
GET SOME! GET SOME!!