Big Boys Don’t Cry

December 30th, 2014

As a special festive treat, we convinced the man known as Plok – A Trout in the Milk; writes bubbles around people who write circles around your favourite bloggers – to write up his thoughts on the Guardians of the Galaxy movie, ultimate power and anachronistic/non-anachronistic adolescence  as initially expressed to Illogical Volume after the author had suffered through a fairly hellish travel experience that ultimately led to a trip to Hairmyers Hospital (shout outs to the ghost of George Orwell!).

It’s a long one, but trust us, it’s worth it!  Over to you Plok!

I haven’t done any blog­writing in a while, so this might be a bit…uh, rambly.

Apologies in advance.

So here’s me in some Mindless Ones comments, possibly being a prick about the Guardians Of The Galaxy movie:

“The Steve Gerber/Al Milgrom Guardians series from the Seventies is, for me, about as close to perfect as SF superhero comics ever got. I would’ve followed that thing to the ends of the earth; it really meant something to me. And it is so dead and gone for lo these thirty­odd years or whatever, that’s it’s like it never even happened. I saw a little of it boomerang back in Farscape,and it’s been suggested to me that this Guardians movie is like a brainless, artless, heartless attempt to do a Marvelized Farscape…

“’My’ Guardians have been 100% completely broken down and recycled to the point where the thing in the movie only contains naturopathic­medicine levels of that thing I liked, and that only because (possibly) it’s partly copying a copy of it that wasn’t even made in the world of comics in the first place…

“Gerber’s Guardians were a bunch of war vets who couldn’t fit in after their side finally won, and struggled with intense repression and thoughts of suicide. Nagged on by a mysterious, possibly omniscient being, they executed a number of SF psychodramas designed to bring them back to life, kicking and screaming all the way…and also a bit like Star Trek.  But it didn’t last. After Gerber left the title, the characters were re­employed by Jim Shooter for his Korvac Saga, diminishing in relatability as they went on…a character­driven book surrendered its characters to the milling process of the Shooter Era, and the major conceits of the Guardians were ground out. Mark Gruenwald kept Vance Astro from ever making it to space, during the Nineties Starhawk lost his specific symbolic heft in the same stroke that took away his mystery…and I don’t even know where Nikki ended up. I hope somewhere nice. And I didn’t see any of them again until maybe Farscape came on the air, though I can’t say for sure if Gerber influenced O’Bannon at all.  But Farscape had the same sort of character­based use of conventions as well as approximately the same setting and scenario, and a friend did cause me to wonder if maybe the GotG of today didn’t partly come out of a “hey let’s do a kinda­sorta Farscape thing” calculation…

“Gerber’s Guardians was about what stock SF situations of the Forties would be like if they were all populated by people from the Seventies…everything that happens is impossible to believe and totally absurd, but if you don’t find a way to take it seriously you’ll crack up. But then if you do take it seriously you’ll just crack up anyway, and so there must be an answer to absurdity butwhere is it? That’s the sort of thing that interests me, especially when it’s dressed up in SF and superhero costumes and (hello, Andrew!) Menippean satire.

Has GotG got anything like that in it?”

Yeah. I know. It doesn’t. But did I have to be such an arch motherfucker about it? Obviously it doesn’t, obviously it bloody well can’t. My beloved Guardians of the 70s were “cinematic” comics long before Alan Moore arrived at Warrior!, but they were never the type that could be made into cinema, at least not without losing everything they were ever about in the first place.

Uh… except…


December 2nd, 2014




But didn’t we? I mean *really* when you think about it, didn’t we? We really did didn’t we? Yes we did. We really did. Did it, I mean. Really. Didn’t we? Didn’t we do it? We did, yes we did. We really really did. Didn’t we?


Ahh. Well then. Should we head to the drawing room and see what Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die are up to? Why look! They’re recording a SILENCE! let’s go sit at their feet.

<ITEM> Oo-er, titter ye not, Missus, titter ye not, NO! Don’t you wave your sponsorship at ME!

<ITEM> The Beast takes us on a trip down memory lane to the heady days of the 1980s with Escape Magazine, featuring Alan’s Big American Adventure, Phil Elliott, Eddie Campbell and more.

<ITEM> It’s a one-step, two-step, tickle you under the…Reviewniverse. The boys trudge through the 4-colour wastelands with Ody-C, Madman 3-D special, Prophet Strikefile, Superior Iron Man, Superior Foes of Spiderman, Usagi Yojimbo, Zero, John Smith and more.

<ITEM> A final bit of chat about Guardians of The Galaxy and Thor 2 and then you’re free to do what you want with the rest of your life.

But we did though.

Didn’t we?

Click to download SILENCE!#124


Contact us:

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.



I’m going to become quite unpopular among my friends, I suspect, when I say that I didn’t like Guardians of the Galaxy very much at all.
I didn’t *hate* it — it had an excellent cast, the effects work was as good as you’d expect, and there were a few good lines of dialogue (I was the only one in the cinema who laughed at the John Stamos line, as the only people who know about him in Britain are Beach Boys fans — and indeed there has just been a massive amount of drama about Stamos among Beach Boys fandom, which made me laugh a little harder than I otherwise would). Sometimes it’s a bit too knowing about the pop culture tropes it makes fun of (this is definitely a post-TV Tropes script), but it occasionally does interesting things (there’s one neat little twist when a very, very, obvious third act reveal straight from Screenwriting 101 *doesn’t* turn out to be true).
It also actually had some scenes with colours that aren’t orange or bluish-grey — not many, but a few. This is increasingly rare in the cinema these days, and is to be applauded. I’m sure I even saw a glimpse of yellow at one point.

But one of the reasons Marvel’s films have been so successful is that they have been *superhero* films. This one isn’t


February 4th, 2014



He was a tough, embittered Disembodied Ex-Copbot 15735 on the edge, waging a lonely war against a sea of scum and internet indifference…they were a plucky odd-couple of podcasting upstarts with a holster-full of half-baked opinions and a healthy disrespect fro doing things by the book. Add in cute little ginger orphan, a basketball playing dog, Iranian terrorists, time-travel, a hooker with a heart of gold, a show-stopping musical number, nazis, aliens and a sinking ocean liner and you have the MOVIE (comics podcast) OF THE YEAR (week)!

<SCENE 1> Sponsorship admizzle, a rambling account of back issue bin snooping at Krypton Comics (featuring Suicide Squad, Mr X and Lloyd Llewellyn), VHS Rental shops from the eighties and finally an ACTUAL demonic summoning that leads us into…

<SCENE 2> The Reviewniverse! Covering Black Science, Saviors, Miracleman 2, Midas Flesh, Saga, Guardians Of the Galaxy, All New X-Men, Wolverine & The X-Men, Revelutionary War: Knights of Pendragon, George Romero’s Dinner Dance of The Dead

<SCENE 3> Finally it’s new segment…Discussion Point! The twosome take on real world references in comic book worlds, and this scintillating debate takes in Dazzler’s pop career, Marvel Vs DC, The twin Towers, Britney Spears, Zenith, Cloud 9, Robot Archie, Spacehorse & The Teen Riders and more. INTENSE!

It’s the movie event of the Summer! It’s McConaughey back at his hunky best! It’s about time you were afraid to go back in the water! IT’S WALL ST…ON ACID!!!


click to download SILENCE!#92

Contact us:

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.
It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.


April 3rd, 2013




Please Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 don’t hurt ‘em! Sorry fleshy ones I cannot promise this. Let’s just say that for the duration of this blurb I promise not to burn out your retinas or strip-mine your DNA. ‘Kay? Kay.

So everyone put down your pens/phones/rail guns and point your ears towards the internet, and listen to those animal men Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die,  as we circle the drain that is…SILENCE!

<ITEM> The SILENCE! News has some VERY SERIOUS matters of which you need to pay attention – the future of SILENCE! depends on it. With those greasy capitalist hams Gary Lactenberg & Danny Beastman.

<ITEM> Full fathom five, as we plunge neck, teeth and hips first into the Reviewniverse as the pair tackle Timewarp, East of West, Age of Ultron, BPRD: Vampire, Batman Inc, FF, Wolverine & The X-Men, Uncanny Avengers, Young Avengers, Fury, Guardians Of The Galaxy, Hawkman, Crossed: Badlands, Fatale and Mr X. With added digressions over the M-Word, VHS Rental shops and Lucio Fulci.

<ITEM> Well isn’t that a treat fleshy ones? Aren’t you glad you stopped looking at pornography to read this? (Personally Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 finds the sight of meatsacks bashing against each other immensely settling. The sensual curve of a sine wave is far more erotic. Or a ZX-Spectrum in suspenders.

click to download SILENCE!#56 .

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.


March 5th, 2013





So fleshy speak is Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735′s second language you know…see how you like it. Maybe sometimes YOU have to make the effort!

Ohhh, I can stay mad at you fleshy ones. Look at your little ruddy cheeks, and your fine, delicate nervous systems. Come on then, come and sit close to me while I run my diodes through your molecules and we listen to the hushed rogueish brogues of Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die and…SILENCE!

<ITEM> SILENCE! News from the frontlines, sidelines and backlines of comics with handsome human walnut Gary Lactenberg, and spoiled rumpsteak Danny Deastman. Two words: Dead. Sidekick.

<ITEM> A quick obituary for British animation legend Bob Godfrey.

<ITEM> Slip sliding away into the Reviewniverse covering many many fine 4-colour fancies, such as: Batman Inc (Shhh, don’t tell anyone about Robin), Happy!, Saga, Prophet, Black Beetle, FF, Hawkeye, Guardians Of The Galaxy, Uncanny X-Men, Avengers Arena, Young Avengers, Avenging Spiderman, Uncanny Avengers, Avengeavengeavengeavengeavengeavengeavengeavengeavengeavenge…. Sorry. Malfunction. Let me clear my throat…Thunderbolts, Mind MGMT and Baltimore: The Widow & The Tank.

Are we friends again? Good, then I will continue to ransack your hard drives…

See you next time.

click to download SILENCE!#52

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.

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