SILENCE #128

January 23rd, 2015

YOU DIDN’T STAND BY ME, NO NOT AT ALL

Oh well. you turn your back for 10 minutes and all the little piggies find themselves a NEW podcast to listen to. I bet this podcast has shiny baubles, trinkets and doodads that would make any listener turn it’s head… well let me ask you this dear listener, WHO LOVES YOU, AND WHO DO YOU LOVE???

SILENCE! that’s who. And just because Christmas sauntered into New Year like a saucy minx wandering into a sauce factory, and just because REAL. LIFE. JUST GOT REAL…do you think that makes it okay to just flip your wig for the nearest podcast that shakes it’s little tail-feather in your general direction??? Well do ya pilgrim? Whatever happened to HONESTY? INTEGRITY? INNERCITY (Good life, good life, good life, good life…goood life!)??? WELL?

Oh look I don’t know. I’m just paid to write this shit by the hour, and let me tell you the hourly rate ain’t great. So you get what you been given. And that’s a medium slice of podcast served up with a good dose of sass!

Gary Lactus & the Beast Must Die are here to guide you through the latest 4-colour mission pamphlets….so grab your Leiderhosen and letsbe avenue…

<ITEM> Relax ev’ryone..The OL’ SPONSORSHIP is here. And it’ just as scintillating as you remember. Somehow the pair find time for a discussion of Marvel Soooperhero films,and Alan Moore synchronicities.

<ITEM> What’s that coming out of the woods, it’s THE REVIEWNIVERSE! feat. The Humans, 2000AD, The Thrillcast, Colin McNeil, Chopper, Gore, The Dark judges, Judge Anderson, Savage, The Winter Soldier, Jupiter’s Legacy, Batman, Colin Hoult, N.Kanan’s Exit, Daredevil and just a bit more

<ITEM> Just time to big up Graeme & Jeff’s Baxter Building FF podcast and then it’s home for scones and dead badger pancakes. Ta ta!

Click to download SILENCE!#128

Contact us:
silencepodcast@gmail.com
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comicsof London.

SILENCE! #126 (HO HO HO)

December 23rd, 2014

 

THE CLANGING CHIMES OF DOOM

It’s beginning to smell a lot like Christmas.

So it’s the time of year when Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die like to kick back, dress like Bruno Brookes and Janice Long and present their Very Special Christmas Jingle Spectacularmas…SILENCE! If there was a end of year best of lists for half-baked, ill-informed opinions and lazy plot recounting…well let me tell you, these boys would be topping that eggnoggin’ list!

<ITEM> A festive portion of Christmas sponsorship, ho ho ho yeah whatever. There’s some teary listener dedications from those rheumy eyed old sadsacks Gary & The Beast. Plus…the Grant Morrison / Midge Ure connection!

<ITEM> A festive portion of listener jingles courtesy of the one man walking Brill Building himself Gary Lactus. There will be blood.

<ITEM> A festive portion of The Reviewniverse ho ho ho with a festive portion of talk about Rumble, Zero, Thunderworld, Annihilator, Spiderman, Sex Criminals, Bitch Planet, Ms Marvel, Batgirl, All New X-Men and probably some other stuff.

<ITEM> A festive portion of favourite Christmas songs. Predictably.

All that plus some strange transmissions from the Multiversity…? I’LL TAKE TWO PLEASE MA’AM!!!

Well there’s only one. BUT WHAT A ONE!!!!!!

Merry cocking Christmas. One and all.

Click to download SILENCE!#126

Contact us:

silencepodcast@gmail.com
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.

 

 

SILENCE! #125

December 9th, 2014

THAT CAT’S SOMETHING I CAN’T EXPLAIN

,
Rorschach’s Journal. October 12ff, 1985:

Dog carcass in alley this mornin’, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I ‘ave seen it’s true Nanny Goat Race. The streets are extended gutters and the bloody gutters are full of blood and wen the drains finally scab over, right, all the vermin will drown. The bloomin’ accumulated filff of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the bloomin’ ‘oores and politicians will ‘ave a look up and shout “Chas’n'Dave us! Honest guv!”…

…and I’ll ‘ave a look dahn, and whispa “nah mate.”

They ‘ad a choice, right, all of them. They could ‘ave followed in the footsteps of right good men like me favver, or President Truman. Decent men, ‘oo believed in a day’s work for a day’s pay. Instead the followed the droppings of lechers and Communists and didn’t realize that the bloody trail led over a precipice until it were too late. Cor blimey guv! Don’t tell me they didn’t ‘ave a choice.

Now the ‘oole world stands on the bloody brink, starin’ dahn into bloody hell fire, all them liberals and intellectuals and smooff-talkers… and all of a sudden, no bloke can fink of anyfink ter say.

Okee-day, let’s get started, we can’t just sit around all day! We’ve got a podcast to run, people! It won’t run itself. Unless…it did??? A sentient podcast! Crivens! doesn’t bare thinking about really. Luckily this podcast isn’t sentient, it’s the home of Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die, and it;s SILENCE!

<ITEM> Sponsorshamallamadingdong! Dave’s Comics & Gosh get the usual shouts, and there’s a bizarre anecdote concerning the demise of Gary’s comedy night ‘Mouth Leak‘, which is worth the entrance fee alone. Plus Christmas markets, movie marathons and more.

<ITEM> A square kick i the pants, and the pair are launched into The Reviewniverse. Jolly good. They cover Crossed 100 by Alan Moore, with a discussion of his recent interview on Scroobius Pip’s Podcast. But that’s not all, there’s Edge of Spiderverse: Sp//dr, Edge of Spiderverse: I walked With A Spider, Secret Six, Grayson, Wolf Moon, Gotham Academy, Uber, Angela and Alex Potts’ Quiet Disaster.

<ITEM> Gary recommends a trio of Swedish minicomics. Ooooh!

<ITEM> Some more podcast recommendations and a bit of the ol’ self promotion, plus a threat to the dear listeners? It’s all here in the newly christened Appendmin

Now where was i? Let me clear my throat…”Dog carcass in alley…”

Click to download SILENCE!#125

Contact us:

silencepodcast@gmail.com
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.

 

 

SILENCE! #124

December 2nd, 2014

 SO DRUNK IN THE AUGUST SUN, AND YOU’RE THE KIND OF GIRL I LIKE

 

 

But didn’t we? I mean *really* when you think about it, didn’t we? We really did didn’t we? Yes we did. We really did. Did it, I mean. Really. Didn’t we? Didn’t we do it? We did, yes we did. We really really did. Didn’t we?

No.

Ahh. Well then. Should we head to the drawing room and see what Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die are up to? Why look! They’re recording a SILENCE! let’s go sit at their feet.

<ITEM> Oo-er, titter ye not, Missus, titter ye not, NO! Don’t you wave your sponsorship at ME!

<ITEM> The Beast takes us on a trip down memory lane to the heady days of the 1980s with Escape Magazine, featuring Alan’s Big American Adventure, Phil Elliott, Eddie Campbell and more.

<ITEM> It’s a one-step, two-step, tickle you under the…Reviewniverse. The boys trudge through the 4-colour wastelands with Ody-C, Madman 3-D special, Prophet Strikefile, Superior Iron Man, Superior Foes of Spiderman, Usagi Yojimbo, Zero, John Smith and more.

<ITEM> A final bit of chat about Guardians of The Galaxy and Thor 2 and then you’re free to do what you want with the rest of your life.

But we did though.

Didn’t we?

Click to download SILENCE!#124

 

Contact us:

silencepodcast@gmail.com
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.

 

 

SILENCE! #122

November 18th, 2014

 

WHEN THE FIREWORKS HIT YOU IN MOGADISHU, ON A BEAUTIFUL SATURDAY NIGHT

It’s the SILENCE! THOUGHT BUBBLE 2014 SPECTACULASM! And you’re all invited. You’re welcome. Plus ones only and ladies in free. Drinks are half price until 9, and you get a free punch in the crackers on the way out.

So join Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die as they lead you on a gentle waltz across the dancefloor of podcastery, before trying to have their way with you in the rose garden. It’s 2+ hours of unbridled hubrisity from the Little and Large of podcasting.

<ITEM> It’s a recording of SILENCE! LIVE from Thought Bubble 2014, with special guests Anal Al Ewing, Sexy Si Spurrier and King Kon Kieron Gillen...plus..could it be? Surely not? Is that Alan Mo…shhhhhh. Also features the Quizzlertron, Telepathy, Blind Date and Magnum PI.

<ITEM> Then it’s time for a post con debrief, as the boyce recount their highlights, lowlights and no-lights. They also talk about their con-haul, so we get Giant Days from John Allison, Thunderbunny, Mindstain comics’ Wanker’s Tan and Grunt 8790, Cindy & Biscuit, Sklent, The Cleaner, Killjoy from Robert Brown, Hitsville UK, Oliver East’s The Homesick Truamts Cumbrian Yarn, Naminfg Monsters by Hannah Eaton, Andy Pearson’s Celph, Haywire, Eclipso, Norm Breyfogle, Alan Grant, Instant Piano and a whole lot more

<ITEM> Gary Races through the rest, but frankly I can’t be bothered to list them. You can bet there’s some comics in there though, boy howdy!

Now. Sing me to sleep. Sing me to sleep, I’m tired and I want to go to bed…

Click to download SILENCE!#122

Contact us:
silencepodcast@gmail.com
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.

We found some photos on our phone and can’t remember taking most of them

SILENCE! #118

October 13th, 2014

RULE NUMBER ONE, PHASERS ON STUN!

Oh hi there! You caught me with my hand in the pickled onion jar! Welcome back DEAR LISTENERS, to this very special* technical-hitch FREE episode of SILENCE! With a rejuvenated The Beast Must Die and Gary Lactus, freshly back from judging the 3rd Annual Electroplegic Bodyshunting Competition. Slipping off their ceremonial robes, the pusillanimous pairsome are hot cocked, and ready to rot! Let’s get podcarousing!

<ITEM> Sponsorshines, Breakdown Press, Thought Bubble…you know the drizzle. And Gary reveals his nefarious plans to sexually entrap all the DEAR LISTENERS!! Who let the dogs in?

<ITEM> Like a perfectly launched stone skipping across a still pond, the two enter the Reviewniverse, a song in their hearts, and their hearts on their sleeves (and their sleeves tucked into their undercrackers). And what a week it’s been. Vivisected this week: Punks, Ed Pinsent, Inkstuds, Rob Liefield, Batgirl, Gotham’s Brooklyn, Gotham Academy, Axis/6xis, Pickled Onions, Sex Criminals, Astro City, Mark Bell RIP, Masterplasty from James Harvey, Courtney Love, Sinestro, and the terrifying Earth 2 weekly challenge!

<ITEM> How could we forget – a guest star studded edition of SILENCE! Because My Mouth Is Full of Delicious Food! The real reason you all came.

Now get out of here before my husband gets home.

Click to download SILENCE!#118

Contact us:

silencepodcast@gmail.com
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.

SILENCE! #114

September 16th, 2014

 

I DON’T WANNA BE BURIED, IN A PET SEMATARY

<ITEM> Lazy Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 has gone astray – does anyone miss it? Be careful as it could be lurking in your inbox bumping uglies with a particularly virulent phishing scam. In the meantime Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die bring you the yawning chasm of comics kritizism that is…SILENCE!

<ITEM> Sponsor-Shimmy-shimmy-YA!, there’s Jingles, Confusion of the Matts, Quick Strips, Myriad, Cartoon County and a whole sweaty fistful more…

<ITEM> What’s that light in them thar hills? Why that’s the Reviewniverse welcoming foolish prospectors into it’s gaping maw…lucky youse got theboys to light the way…they be talkin’ Space Horse Redux, Wild’s End, Annihilator, Dave McKean photocopying, LA apocalypse narrative, Ms Marvel, Swamp Thing, Justice League Unlimited, Future’s End, Prophet: Strikefile, Terminal Hero, Death of Wolverine, Dark Ages, MPH, Copperhead, Captain Victory, Caliban, Avengers, the general bizarre state of DC Comics and a whole dogpile more…

<ITEM> I CAN SEE THE OTHER SIDE! There’s just time Silence (Because My Mouth Is Full Of Delicious Food), Darren Cullen News, Roberty Bobbity’s Spacehorse Riders and not a jot more.

NOW GIT.

Click to download SILENCE!#114

Contact us:

silencepodcast@gmail.com
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.
It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

SILENCE #113

September 9th, 2014

 

I SAW AN X-RAY OF A GIRL PASSING GAS

<ITEM> So this is SILENCE! And what have you done?

<ITEM> Sponsorships passing in the night, with added talk of Blue Peter in the 1970s and 80s. It’s Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die doing that thing they do. Doo doo.

<ITEM> Reviewniverse = Saga 22, Grendel Vs The Shadow, God Hates Astronauts, Transformers Vs GI Joe, Original Sin, Superman, Outcast, Bodies, Doop, Batman, She-Hulk, Uber, Wein & Bernie Wrightson Swamp Thing, Superior Foes Of Spiderman and more, oh so much more (well sort of)

<ITEM> There’s a bit of Dr Who chat. You know. For kids.

<ITEM> SILENCE (Because My Mouth Is Full of Delicious Food – it’s the new segment that has the world on it’s knees

Sorry.

worst. shownotes.  ever.

Click to download SILENCE!#113

Contact us:

silencepodcast@gmail.com
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.
It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

SILENCE! #112

August 26th, 2014

 

TWIST AWAY…NOW TWIST AND SHOUT

<ITEM> Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die are joined by very special winkiemate BOBSY! for this two-hour plus mega epic.

<ITEM> Gladmin, radmin anything to stop you being sadmin! Disney Marathons, dubbed franco-japanese cartoons, a musical life, Sponsorshunt, and hot sexy all the times more!

<ITEM> The Reviewniverse faces a triple harmonium-breach! Three happy boys taking in this mighty meaty stack: Multiversity, God is Dead, Grant Morrison and Alan Moore sitting in a tree Giant Haystacks Vs Big Daddy, Sandman: Overture, Goodnight Batman Good Night Gaiman, Stray Bullets, Sin City 2, Frank Miller, Big Guy & Rusty The Boy Robot, Geoff Darrow, Robocop Vs Terminator, Batman: The Cult, Give Me Liberty, Ann Raynd, Frank The Tank, Seven Soldiers, Sabretooth Swordsman, Brendan McCarthy, Dream Kings, DHP, Death In Oaxca, Ms Marvel, Haunted Comic, YOU the reader, Wicked & The Divine, White Bearded Babymen, Avengers Analogues, Kieron Gillen, Usagi Yojimbo, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoons and comics, Hip Hop Family Tree, and the Cliff Richard/Hip-Hop Connection,

<ITEM>Gary Races Through The Rest: Daredevil, Mighty Avengers, Borrow or Nah, Secret Avengers, Batman Eternal, Justice Inc, The Saviors, and The Fade Out

<ITEM> Special bo-nutz feature: Bobsy’s Film Corner taking in the ageing flesh-mass that is The Expendables 3!

Three times the danger! Three times the thrills! Three times the smell of raw, rugged testosterone…it can only be SILENCE! 

Can I go now?

Click to download SILENCE!#112

Contact us:

silencepodcast@gmail.com

@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.