January 22nd, 2013
ANOTHER SELF PROCLAIMED HISTORIAN, WITH EINSTEIN AS A PASSENGER, AND A FLUX CAPACITOR IN HIS DELOREAN…
This… is… the voice of….Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735! Wooo! Scared you, you silly rabbits! Ha Ha, Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is all messed up as he has been drinking fermented battery acid and snorting big lines of pixels all afternoon…Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735′s wife left him you see, taking all the little Narratorbots with her..
NOT REALLY! Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is confirmed bachelor! NOT REALLY! Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is not even confirmed male…or human. Concept of love and marriage is as alien as the whirling purple dust motes of Jupiter, or the cold dark bottom of the Marianas Trench…Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735only likes hard facts, and of course SILENCE!
<ITEM> Usual masturbatory introductory fol-de-rol. YAWN@SILENCE
<ITEM> SILENCE News with 1950′s news-hunks Danny Beastman and Gary Lactenberg, covering the annual Comics Readers And Producers award ceremony. Swoon!
<ITEM> Moonwalk into the Reviewniverse covering Black Beetle, Saga, Batman, Daredevil, Indigestible Hulk, Fashion Beast, All New X-Men, Lot 13, Craig Yoe presents Haunted Horror, Captain America, Captain Marvel, and Judge Dredd Case Files, with added discussion of painted art by Dermot Power, Dean Ormston and Colin MacNeil (‘The Dream Of The 90′s..”)
<ITEM> Mrs Schwartzberg reviews Savage Wolverine by Frank Cho
<ITEM> Beast’s Bargain Basement covers Strange Case of HP Lovecraft – hear him froth about Tony Salmons!
<ITEM> Talk of Utopia and Shaky Kane’s ‘That’s Because You’re a Robot’
<ITEM> NO MORE! Now clear off you meddling kids. Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 has some etherware to smoke.
Special thanks to Roberty Boberty for contributing to this week’s episode.
January 7th, 2013
LIKE SITTING ON PINS AND NEEDLES, THINGS FALL APART, IT’S SCIENTIFIC
YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF BLEACH! Happy 2013 fleshy ones! Who else would you want to usher you into another year of repetitive grinding toil and pointless attempts to distract yourself with the flashing pretty lights than your omnipresent judgmental pal Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735!
Yes dear fleshy ones, Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 has missed you all. It was certainly nice having a break mind you , and you’ll be pleased to know that Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 spent the past three weeks targetting and disintegrating reindeer from space. The site of red mammal mist on snow…it makes my core reactor glow with happiness…one day Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 will get to practice on…
HA! HA! Anyway! No doubt you’ve come sniffing round these parts in search of those two aural bandits Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die and their podcast SILENCE! haven’t you? well you’re in luck as it is here in all of it’s one-tone “glory”. Rejoice fleshy ones – all your “favourites’ are “here”:
<ITEM> The boys explain what Santa unleashed in their direction from his bulging sack! Sack contents feature Dan Clowes, Jack Kirby’s Spirit World, Ghost Rider and Josh Simmons’ The Furry Trap!
<ITEM> The SILENCE! News features hard-hitting exposes from Gary Lactenberg & Danny Beastman!
<ITEM> The Reviewniverse features soft-hitting exposes of the following periodicals…Godzilla: the Half Century War by ace SILENCE! banner-smith and official monster wrangler James Stokoe, Happy, Saga, Amazing Spiderman 700(with a digression into Face/Off), Hawkeye (Bro), Prophet, Matt Howarth’s Those Annoying Post Bros & Keif Lama, Dominion Tank Police, Punk Rock Jesus, Wolverine: Insance In the Brain, Multiple Warheads and Batman Inc.
<ITEM> But that’s just the beginning! brave Sir Lactus catapults himself further into the Reviewniverse than any mortal has gone before…he is in the Hyperreviewniverse!!! Whilst there he discusses Amazing Spiderman 699.1, Avengers Arena, Avengers, Storm Dogs, America’s Got Powers, Daredevil, Wolverine & The X-Men, FF, Indestructible Hulk, Thor, Thunderbolts, Justice League, Captain America, Hellblazer, Judge Dredd, Avenging Spiderman, Fatale, Mara, Iron Gland, Wonder Woman, JSA: The Whistling Skull, Hellboy in Hell and All New X-Men…Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 weeps battery acid just to think about his bravery.
So strap on your rocket packs, rocket boots, rocket gloves and rocket corset and grab our hands as we go hurtling into the future of 2013, with SILENCE! #45!
November 28th, 2012
FOXHEADS STALK THIS LAND...
Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735….LIVES!!
Wakey-wakey fleshy ones! It’s time for your weekly comics suppository, SILENCE! After their blazing tour of ONE comics convention, Gary and The Beast settle into their respective grooves, cheeks a-quiver. Thank you yes,
After the ritual disappointment that is the SILENCE! News (with added Alan Rickman), the pair clamber aboard the slow-moving, wheezy old comics steam engine. Poop Poop! The Reviewniverse features top opinion nano-cloudforms about..
<ITEM> the new AMERICAN JUDGE DREDD COMIC…why I oughtta…
<ITEM> Captain America in Dimension Z (X actually), Inexhaustible Hulk from Waid and Yu (no, not you, YU! HA HA), Daredevil (hole is goal, yes), Hawkeye (no A-Ha jokes sadly), Clone, Comeback (what begins with C?), Conqueror Worm from Boobs Corben, Frankenstein Alive! Alive (o)! from comics sexform Bernie Wrightson, Dark Horse Presents (Dark Horse presence?), Number 13, Wonder Woman (it’s a punderful life HA HA), Justice League (hunt the Super Sausage), Spiderman and Iron Gland, Wolverine & The X-Men, Rocketeer and Steed & Ms Peel…phew! Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735′s conceptual head is spinning. He is going to be sick and it will be a 4-coloured yawn.
The Silent Question comes from Archie & The Punisher, and the answers include Seth, Modulok and Death’s Head.
All this plus nothing more!
Except for James Lawrence’s Dangerine
Thank you fleshy ones. Hello. Hello. It’s good to be back, it’s good to be back. Hello.
October 22nd, 2012
Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. AND IT LOOKED LIKE SILENCE!!!
Salutations fleshy ones, it is Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 here again to give you a gentle laugh-sized portion of introductory text to the nation’s podcasting sweetheart, SILENCE! (the 36th installment).
In this episode the two humanoid presentertrons The Beast Must Die and Gary Lactus indulge themselves like a couple of schoolchildrenoids in a sweetshoptrix. Apologies – this is Narratorbot humor. Back home in neo-interspace v2.0 I am comedy legend.
ITEM – SILENCE! News – usual mish mash of second hand stories and ill-formed opinions yes sir.
ITEM – covering pulp pamphlets a-go go, such as:
Godzilla: The Half Century War by James Stokoe (TBMD immortalised plus tangential discussion of Mike McMahon), Zaucer of Zilk from AL Ewing & Brendan McCarthy (with tangential discussion of Sooner Or Later, Dare, Enigma and Mrs Thatcher), Daredevil, Hawkeye, Glory, Wonder Woman (Puns incoming – puncoming?), Justice League (Trevor!), Marvel Now Point One (Marvel WOW!), a discussion of the Curse of Man Vs Comics and continuity, and more more more (not really - Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 cannot lie to the fleshy ones. It is not in his programming, no sir. Dissection of flesh one brains however…)
ITEM – Silent Question comes from bemulletted 90′s also-ran Captain Planet and answers involve Greatest American Hero, The Shadow, and Nick O’Teen (boo hiss no sir).
ITEM - Wowee such sexy big listening times for the fleshy ones! All so exciting, Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 does not know what to do. It will think clean thoughts and apply the lotion… so please do be joining us for SILENCE! no.36 – hot buttons!
Click below for the SILENCE! Gallery…
September 24th, 2012
I’M CRUSHING YOUR HEAD!
This is it people – the ultimate listening experience you can do with your ears…comics, people, people talking about comics, comics talking about people, people talking about comics again….IT’S ALL HERE! IN SILENCE! no.32!!!
After the usual shit-bubbling from the two half-wits that pass for presenters on this farrago, the SILENCE! News comes and goes like a sex pest in the night, with a digression into Chuck Jones and Pat Mills. With nary a thought to listener safety or interest the podcasteers catapult themselves midrift first into the weeks comics. No muss, no fuss, let’s do this:
James Stokoe’s Godzilla, Justice League! no.0, Daredevil, Jordan Crane’s Uptight, The Shadow, The Walking Dead, Ghost, Revival, AVX: The Avengers, and Nite Owl.
The SILENT Question comes from Frank Castle and the answer involves Jim Woodring’s Frank, Jonny Ryan’s Prison Pit and Zenith: Phase 1.
Lactus reviews his underpants in notcomics, and after that adventrure in undercrackers The Beast talks up Nick Abadzis’ wonderful Hugo Tate collection and recalls Deadline in general. Then there’s a nod towards a fascinating interview with Brit comics mover and shaker, Dave Elliott, and Lactus pimps his wares like the painted French tart he so clearly is, with another Comedy Spot.
August 21st, 2012
I hope the junkyard a few blocks from here someday burns down, and I hope the rising black smoke carries me far away and I never come back to this town again…
OH CHEER UP CHARLIE CHUCKLES!
Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s SILENCE! no.27. That’s right it’s been 27 years since SILENCE! started. The internet was sepia and comics were carved on the side of cave walls!
So grab your best gal pal or guy puy, and let’s burrow snout first into a big ol’ pile of comics hoo-hah. After a fist-pumping ballad in honor of gas-mask steroid commie Bane, and a healthy dollop of SILENCE! News (covering Bob Burden’s Pussy Riot solidarity), Gary Lactus brings us a dramatic undercover expose into Comics Vs Cocaine! the Beast and Lactus get busy with the fizzy with Butcher Baker from Casey and Huddlestone, Saga no.6, and Shade no.11. Then it;s a walloping great chunk of Man V Comics covering AVX, AVX: Avengers, Daredevil, Walking Dead, Fatale, Saucer County, Hellblazer, Everybody Loves Tank Girl, and Wonder Woman. Phew. Rather him than us, right readers??????????
But it doesn’t end there. Then he takes on ALL of the Before Watchmen comics, in Who Reads The Watchmen?
Then it’s a quick swim in the mildewey waters of the Beast’s Bargain Basement with Doc Frankenstein and more hot Barry M Freeman nuggets uncovered. Plus an interview with Barney Farmer! Finish it off with a quick big-up of Joe Dante’s underrated love letter to 1950′s monster movies Matinee, and you have an hour and a half of delicious comics tapioca for all the family. That’s right it’s SILENCE!
August 14th, 2012
ICHT BIN EIN PODCASTER!
Welcome web-worms to the one and only, the humble magnificent…SILENCE! This latest episode starts off over in the SILENCE NY offices, with our US correspondents Gary Lactenberg and Danny Beastman ushering in the latest hot chat and gossip* from the wonderful** world of comics!
*there’s no gossip
**it’s not always wonderful
After the SILENCE! news it’s straight onto sexytimescomicstalk, with discussions of Godzilla: The Half Century War from top SILENCE! bannersmith, James Stokoe. Then there’ a side order of Batman and Hulk chat, before a rather large, throbbing portion of Black Kiss 2. Close your ears younglings… Lactus lowers the tone further with talk of Space: Punisher, AVX: Avengers , Frankenstein, and the Alan Davis Daredevil annual in Man Vs Comics, plus there’s a digression into the ‘recent’ Punisher War Zone movie. On the pulse!
The Silent Question is posed by hot wheelie dicso chick Dazzler, and the answers involve Cliff Steele and Box.
Beast fills us in on how his Knightquest is progressing (BROKEN BAT!) and Lactus updates the hunt for Barry M Freeman. There’s some Drunken Baker chat there too.
So Lactus is chillin, Beast is chillin, what more can I say? (answers on a postcard please). It’s all waiting for you beyond the sundered veil in…SILENCE! no.26!!
August 7th, 2012
THEY ALL FLOAT DOWN HERE…AND WHEN YOU’RE DOWN HERE WITH US, YOU’LL FLOAT TOO!
Hah hooh hah!
It’s that time of the week boys and girls, and Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die are here to bring the melonfarming ruckus! Duck and cover for SILENCE! no.25
After an Olympic Pool-sized edition of SILENCE! News, the boyce let rip with some lovingly hand-crafted comics reviews. INCLUDING: Fraction and Aja’s Hawkeye no.1, Dial H from Mieville and co, Beasts of Burden from Dorkin and Thompson, Action Comics, Daredevil, Animal Man and Lactus has a diet-sized portion of Man V Comics with AVX.
There’s a special SILENT Question from Batroc Zee Leepair (with the answer including Bob of the Black Lodge and Pennywise the Dancing Clown).
Then there’s a meaty discussion of Nolan’s The Dark Knight Rises aka Occupy Gotham (currently showing in magic lantern shows around the country.
Add in a vital clue in the ongoing saga to discover ‘lost’ Brit comics genius Barry M Freeman (Woodward & Bernstein get f*cked) and you have a meaty, beaty, big & bouncy edition of SILENCE!
July 25th, 2012
THIS IS NOT AN EXIT
Of course it isn’t silly! It’s a gaping entrance! An entrance into the world of SILENCE!!!
In this episode the pair who go together like strawberries and cream, millionaires and wards, and ‘interesting’ facial hair and threats of violence get down on their knees and pray for a rain of comics…and they get it!
After a heartfelt piece of Dylan-esque balladry about Man-Thing from The Beast, and a baggy edition of the SILENCE! news, there’s a twelve car pile-up of comics foolchat, covering:
the revamped Glory, Peter Bagge’s Reset, Paul Chadwick’s Concrete (and ‘Moving A Big Rock’), Saga (both the comic and the pensioner’s holiday scheme), Hanging with DB Cooper from Brian Churillo, Mind MGMT, Hellblazer and the recent hilarious Inkstuds Biz interview, Daredevil, The Shadow, JLA and an Infernal Man-Thing freestyle… oh, and Lactus takes on all the AVX related bizzo, in Man Vs Comics.
But let’s not forget the brand new feature The Silent Question in which the pair answer a Celebrity! Question! The Beast talks up Hookjaw and Lactus takes on Chester Brown and Canadian masturbation in general…
And there’s an appreciation of lost Brit comics genius Barry M Freeman.
Dear me, I’ve just wet me knickers! It’s all too much…let’s hope your undercrackers can handle the truth! It’s all wrapped up in the brain-burp that is…SILENCE!
And don’t forget to check below as well for the Silence Gallery…
June 24th, 2012
I’LL SHOW YOU THE LIFE OF THE MIND! I’LL SHOW YOU THE LIFE OF THE MIND!
Ha ha! Hello SILENCERS! Under the brand spanking new SILENCE! banner from celebrity orc-peddlar James Stokoe, you will find the latest hot shot comics rot from notorious 4-colour sex pests The Beast Must Die and Gary Lactus. Quake, then, frail ones at SILENCE! no.19…special early morning edition.
A slightly frazzled and sleepy pair take on the release of the recent Dredd trailer for SILENCE! news, then the coffee starts kicking in and they barrel into some full-blooded discussion of comics, including 2009 the third volume of Alan Moore and Kev O’Neill’s League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Century series. Also spoken of: Saga no. 4, Hellblazer (Biz + werewolves), Secret history of DB Cooper no. 4, Journey Into Mystery, AVX something or other, and Daredevil. The Beast brings back ‘You Should’ve Known Better’ with his take on Tony Daniels’ Detective Comics and then things peeter out as an over-excited Lactus realises he got up way too early.
It’s an hour and ten minutes of comics shpoonk, and it comes in a handy ear-pill sized format. So jump up, jump up and get down with the comics podcast that the world believes might change everything for everyone….SILENCE!