SILENCE #128

January 23rd, 2015

YOU DIDN’T STAND BY ME, NO NOT AT ALL

Oh well. you turn your back for 10 minutes and all the little piggies find themselves a NEW podcast to listen to. I bet this podcast has shiny baubles, trinkets and doodads that would make any listener turn it’s head… well let me ask you this dear listener, WHO LOVES YOU, AND WHO DO YOU LOVE???

SILENCE! that’s who. And just because Christmas sauntered into New Year like a saucy minx wandering into a sauce factory, and just because REAL. LIFE. JUST GOT REAL…do you think that makes it okay to just flip your wig for the nearest podcast that shakes it’s little tail-feather in your general direction??? Well do ya pilgrim? Whatever happened to HONESTY? INTEGRITY? INNERCITY (Good life, good life, good life, good life…goood life!)??? WELL?

Oh look I don’t know. I’m just paid to write this shit by the hour, and let me tell you the hourly rate ain’t great. So you get what you been given. And that’s a medium slice of podcast served up with a good dose of sass!

Gary Lactus & the Beast Must Die are here to guide you through the latest 4-colour mission pamphlets….so grab your Leiderhosen and letsbe avenue…

<ITEM> Relax ev’ryone..The OL’ SPONSORSHIP is here. And it’ just as scintillating as you remember. Somehow the pair find time for a discussion of Marvel Soooperhero films,and Alan Moore synchronicities.

<ITEM> What’s that coming out of the woods, it’s THE REVIEWNIVERSE! feat. The Humans, 2000AD, The Thrillcast, Colin McNeil, Chopper, Gore, The Dark judges, Judge Anderson, Savage, The Winter Soldier, Jupiter’s Legacy, Batman, Colin Hoult, N.Kanan’s Exit, Daredevil and just a bit more

<ITEM> Just time to big up Graeme & Jeff’s Baxter Building FF podcast and then it’s home for scones and dead badger pancakes. Ta ta!

Click to download SILENCE!#128

Contact us:
silencepodcast@gmail.com
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comicsof London.

What’s The Story?
The Penguin has just been let out of jail, and strange non-crimes involving umbrellas are happening all over town.


What’s The Story?
The Riddler manages to trick Batman into arresting him when he’s not guilty, and files suit for wrongful arrest — Batman will have to reveal his true identity in court!


Will this do?

Batman On Screen: Batman (1943)

December 13th, 2014

I hear you’re a racist now, Batman…

Batman piloting a plane

Batman…

SILENCE #113

September 9th, 2014

 

I SAW AN X-RAY OF A GIRL PASSING GAS

<ITEM> So this is SILENCE! And what have you done?

<ITEM> Sponsorships passing in the night, with added talk of Blue Peter in the 1970s and 80s. It’s Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die doing that thing they do. Doo doo.

<ITEM> Reviewniverse = Saga 22, Grendel Vs The Shadow, God Hates Astronauts, Transformers Vs GI Joe, Original Sin, Superman, Outcast, Bodies, Doop, Batman, She-Hulk, Uber, Wein & Bernie Wrightson Swamp Thing, Superior Foes Of Spiderman and more, oh so much more (well sort of)

<ITEM> There’s a bit of Dr Who chat. You know. For kids.

<ITEM> SILENCE (Because My Mouth Is Full of Delicious Food – it’s the new segment that has the world on it’s knees

Sorry.

worst. shownotes.  ever.

Click to download SILENCE!#113

Contact us:

silencepodcast@gmail.com
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.
It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

SILENCE! #111

August 19th, 2014

 

WELL IF YOU’D LIKE TO KNOW WHAT POP STARS HAVE FOR TEA, ASK JOHNNY DEE

Welcome acolytes. Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 has been to the top of the mountain. Spent much tme amongst the clouds. The silence. Enlightenment followed. Shhh, no noise. Too much noise. Learn to switch off. Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 switched offfffffff….

Also downloaded hot new Haiku app. Hot results. Sweetness follows.Reaching quiet.

Listen:

1)

Don’t surrender,
oblivion, boredom,
Must comics.

2)

From fully to manchild
The spandex, the oblivion
To the oblivion. Psteve.

3)

Imaginary the graphic
Beast, poo manchild in irritant
with no Gary to spandex

<ITEM>It’s all here: Sponsorshambles, Gladmin, EXXXtreme stand up, Letter Chat, Number Chat, Gaz Top, Fred Dineage, Helen Bonham-Carter, Olive-theft, Gladiators, Alan Rickman, 1994, Clare Danes, Injury, You’ve Been Framed, Fellini, the onset of time and by thunder a whole lot more time-wasting! Love, sex, intelligence Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die coming on like the Seventh Seal -wait is that right?

<ITEM> Like sneaking into a strangers house, trying on their wedding dress and sitting in a bath in it (D-bot loves ya Morello!), the pair sneak in to the Reviewniverse, talking up Supreme Blue Rose, Batman, artistic injuries, Zero, Starlight, Comicbook Confidential, Alan Moore, Reality Bites, Emily Carroll Through The Woods, GI Robot, then Gary Races Through The Rest: Astro City, Moon Knight, Hulk v Iron Man, All New X-Men, Avengers Undercover, Amazing Spiderman, Original Sin, Walking Dead,

<ITEM> Just enough time for a digression about the return of the Aphex Twin before James Stokoe’s ne favourite regular feature SILENCE!…Because My Mouth Is Full (Of Delicious Food!) with Gourmet Lactus and The Beast Must Dine!

Now clear out pests! Enlightenment has passed. Turns out it was just wind.

Click to download SILENCE!#111

Contact us:

silencepodcast@gmail.com
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.

SILENCE! #105

June 17th, 2014

 

IT’S NOT FAR, NOT HARD TO REACH, WE CAN HITCH A RIDE TO ROCKAWAY BEACH

In a podcast there lived a ludicrous, well-designed Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 named The Beast Must Die. Not a stupid opinionated, half-baked podcast, filled with comics and an obsessive smell, nor yet a blustering, gigantic, turgid podcast with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735-podcast, and that means entertainment.
One day, after a troubling visit from the space-giant Gary Lactus, The Beast leaves his podcast and sets out in search of three ignorant toilets. A quest undertaken in the company of listeners, sponsors and ugly meatsacks.
In the search for the Quizzlertron-guarded toilets, The Beast Must Die surprises even himself with his bullshittery and skill as a reviewer.
During his travels, The Beast rescues a Graphic Novel, an heirloom belonging to Gary. But when Gary refuses to try shutting up, their friendship is over.
However, Gary is wounded at the Battle of Crisis Of Infinite Podcasts and the two reconcile just before The Beast engages in some serious shutting up.
The Beast accepts one of the three ignorant toilets and returns home to his podcast a very wealthy Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735.
Wait, what?
<ITEM> Sponsorshiz, Potential Father’s Day, the best Dad’s in comics, Dr Doom, Batman, Lonewolf & Cub, The Ben Elton/Neil Gaiman axis of evil and more in the now legendary preambular olympics.
<ITEM> The final session in the Quizzlertron, as the boys finish their 100th episode spectacular on episode 105, because let us not ever forget they are PROFESSIONALS. Mighty Crusaders, Al Ewing, ‘wacky’ podcasts and the real Captain Marvel. Including bonus Lady Lactus content, flatmate Laura and Gary Lactus dropping a deuce live on air!
(You can read Al Ewing’s amazing recommendation here:
http://fourcolorshadows.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/the-mighty-crusaders-rick-jerry-paul.html)
<ITEM> It’s a fine and fancy trip to the Reviewniverse, with talk of That’s Because You’re A Robot, Revenge, She-Hulk, Ordinary, Brass Sun, Afterlife With Archie, The Wake, Starlight, Infinity Man & The Forever People, Mighty Avengers, Avengers Undercover and more.
<ITEM> What’s this, a movie podcast? No? Then why the hell are Gary & The Beast talking about the Evil Dead remake, Greenberg and The Grand Budapest Hotel?
Fill your boots you lucky, lucky people, and be back next week for more Hob Talk and Bowel Evacuations!

Click to download SILENCE!#105

Contact us:

silencepodcast@gmail.com
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.
It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

SILENCE! #97

March 18th, 2014

 

NO-ONE SAW THE CARNY GO…

It was a hot sticky day. The kind of day that makes dogs whine and men crazy. The moment she walked into my office I knew she was trouble..the kind of trouble spelt backwards if y’know what I mean? So..kind of elbuort..?.  I poured myself a stiff glass of the hard stuff, only to find it was a bit too stiff and hard. It smashed my glass. I got that glass from Bentley Wildfowl Museum goddamnit! Eyeballing her I saw that she had the kind of body that could drive a man wild. Luckily I’m Disembodied Gumshoebot X-15735 and it takes more than a red hot dame in a slinky dress to turn my dials…A ZX Spectrum in suspenders on the other hand?  She fluttered her eyelashes at me and asked me to light her smoke…I did it from across the room with my I-Beam and managed to set fire to her fur coat. I could tell it was going to be one of those days. Nothin’ left for it but to turn the fan up high, kick back and listen to the latest SILENCE!

<ITEM> After last week’s lumbering behemoth edition we hop into this week’s nippy little runaround with ‘classic’ combo meal The Beast Must Die & Gary Lactus.

<ITEM> Admin a-go-go with sponsorship, songs, Warwick Johnson Cadwell, Will Franken’s Things We Did Before Reality, Welcome to Night Vale, and *some* more…

<ITEM> A bold Julian Cope themed sing-a-long launches us into The Reviewniverse as the fancy boys tackle Beasts Of Burden, Hawkeye, Independence Days, Secret Avengers, Batman, Uber, Walking Dead, The Royals, Captain Marvel, Veil, All New X-Men, Superior Foes of Spiderman and more

<ITEM> The brief return of Larry Lactus & The Beast Must Dimbleby, and that’s your lot. What are you complaining about?

There are 10,000 stories in the naked city…this has been one of them. Could have had more nudity though.

Click to download SILENCE!#97

Contact us:

silencepodcast@gmail.com
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.
It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.