December 28th, 2013
WHAT ARE THEY DOING?
THEY’RE WATCHING SNOW WHITE. AND THEY LOVE IT.
I am Disembodied Yulebot X – 15735. HO HO HO HO HO <RUN>
Tis the season to be jingle. Yo ho ho and a bottle of eggnog. Silent Night Deadly Night… Disembodied Yulebot X – 15735 hopes that you have all been good little dear listeners, because you are about to be rewarded with a mammoth extra length merryjingle edition of SILENCE! The Beast Must Die and Gary Lactus are joined by that stocking filler Bobsy for a rambling end of year round up fuelled by festive cheer and just a little bit of yuletide imbibement. But beware. If you’ve been naughty little dear listeners, then Disembodied Yulebot X – 15735 will hunt you down and feed him to his robo-reindeer…
In this free-jazz take on the podcast, the boys discuss (in no particular order)…
Dr Who, Ken Campbell, Mark Gatiss, M R James, the KLF, Illuminatus, Chester Brown’s Paying For It, Michel Fiffe’s COPRA, Jerry Sadowitz, Wimbledon Green, the Canadian Cartoonist’s Newspaper strip, Josh Simmons’ Furry Trap, Avengers Arena, Art Spiegleman’s Co-Mix, Chris Ware Whooppee Cushions, Chester Brown Condoms, All New X-Men, Nina Conti and Ventriloquism, Marvel Superheroes Bath & Shower sets, Artcomix, broseph porn comix, Jim Woodring’s Frank, Fran and Congress of The Animals, Robert Crumb, Joe Matt, English storms, the joys of Coach travel, and believe me when Disembodied Yulebot X – 15735 says, a whole bulging sackload more…
There’s even time for some admin, a couple of toilet breaks, the occasional belch and a Band Aid sized amount of seasonal goodwill.
So take it, shove it into your gullets on top of all the dead turkey, chocolates, cheese, port, brandy, beer, wine and mince bloody pies and head for the mistetoe, where Disembodied Yulebot X – 15735 will be awaiting, diodes glowing…
November 18th, 2013
RUN RUN REYNARD, RUN RUN RUN
I am Disembodied Gunnery Sargebot X – 15735. What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?!
What is this Mickey Mouse sh*t? What in the name of Jesus H. Christ are you animals doing in my head? Why is Gary Lactus out of his bunk after lights-out? Why is Private Pyle holding that weapon? Why aren’t you stomping Gary Lactus’s guts out? Do you feel dizzy? Do you feel faint! Jesus H. Christ! I think you’ve got a hard-on!
The Beast Must Die has dishonored himself and dishonored the platoon. I have tried to help him. But I have failed. I have failed because YOU have not helped me. YOU people, have not given The Beast Must Die the proper motivation! You must listen to the latest SILENCE! ALL THE WAY THROUGH!
<TEN HUT!> Sponsorship, admin, SILENCE! Live at Thought Bubble - sounds like the kind of thing you maggots might enjoy.
<TEN HUT!>Did I mention that it’s Gary Lactus’ Birthday? There’s a special birthday message from Black Bolt of the Inhumans.
<TEN HUT!> Get your faces in the mud and CRAWL your way to the Reviewniverse ladies! In the firing line this week: Shaolin Cowboy, Rocket Girl, Mighty Avengers, All New X-Men, Avengers Arena, Saga, Forever Evil, Bee Vixens From Mars, Hinterkind, Batman: Black & White, Umbral, Captain Marvel, Superior Spiderman, Resident Alien, Fatale and….Space Clusters!!
Whatever you do, don’t fall down, it would break my f*cking heart! Are you quitting on me? ARE YOU QUITTING ON ME?! Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy f*cking walrus-looking piece of sh*t!
But SILENCE! lives forever. And that means YOU live forever.
September 16th, 2013
I HAD SO MANY PROBLEMS, BUT THEN I GOT ME A WALKMAN
Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 enters the arena.
Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is experimenting with minimalism. Has been shopping at virtu-Ikea, reading Raymond Carver and listening to Basic Channel. Minimal. Haiku. Unclutter your life, unclutter your mind.
Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is much calmer now. Inside Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735′s mind is an empty room. With a picture of a cow on the wall.
<ITEM> A reunitification of sorts as Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die once again share the same aural space.
<ITEM> Sponsorship chattle and prattle. Anti-advertising. Well done.
<ITEM> Let’s move together in a crab-like fashion into The Reviewniverse. Much talk of comics, including Villain’s Month, Batman: Black & White, Prophet, Mighty Avengers, Astro City, Avengers Arena, Walking Dead, God Is Dead, X-Men: Battle of the Atom, Captain America, Lose, and The Best of Milligan & McCarthy.
See. Minimal. Calm. A boat gently rocks on a still glassy sea.
But a storm is brewing fleshlings.