Will Blog For Cash

October 29th, 2015

So once again the Mindless Ones will be at the Galaxy’s Greatest Comic Convention, Thought Bubble. You can find us at tables six and seven in New Dock (don’tmentiontheoldname) Hall on the fourteenth and fifteenth of November.

Bobsy, Andre Whickey, The Beast Must Die, Gary Lactus, and Illogical Volume will all be there (sadly Mister Attack, who has been with us for the past few years, will not be attending this year), and you will be able to buy Cindy & Biscuit and Terminus comics from The Beast Must Die, or the adventures of Andrew & Stephen or The Cleaner from Gary Lactus. And you will be able to see Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die doing a very special SILENCE!, and you won’t even have to give them any money for that (though you can, of course).

“But wait!”, I hear you cry, “there are FIVE Mindless Ones attending the convention, not two! What do Bobsy, Andre Whickey, and Illogical Volume have to offer me, other than their raw animal sexuality?”

This has, in previous years, posed a problem for those of us who are less obviously artistically gifted than the SILENCE! duo. We have previously attempted to sell my books, which don’t have any pictures in at all, with limited success, and to sell Illogical Volume, with even more limited success (he always comes back).

You will, of course, still be able to purchase some of my books, and we will still be entertaining offers for Illogical Volume, but this year, those of us who communicate only by means of text will be doing something different as well.

Have you ever wanted your own personal Mindless Ones blog post, written just for YOU? If so, now is your chance!

Throughout Thought Bubble weekend (depending on the vagaries of laptop battery life and the Royal Armories’ shonky wi-fi), we will be liveblogging on the subjects of your choosing. YOU, yes YOU! could have your own Mindless Ones blog post, custom-written by our blogging artisans.

For just a penny a word, we will write blog posts of any length. Have you a burning desire to be updated on the saga of Bobsy’s superhero underpants? Do you really want to read Illogical Volume writing five hundred words on why David Cameron is a great bunch of lads? Do you want to know who would win in a fight between the Thing and Darkseid? Do you want Andre Whickey to summarise his opinions on the pop music the modern young people listen to, with their Bay City Rollers and their hippity hoppiting, rather than that old stuff he writes about? Would you like a ten thousand word essay on the Clone Saga, in iambic pentameter?

Now you can have just that. Bobsy, Illogical Volume, and Andre Whickey will be tag-team blog-posting over the weekend. Short posts will be written by one of us solo, longer posts by some combination of the three. We will write words right in front of your astonished faces, and post them to the Internet for all to see.

We will be starting at a penny a word, but rates may go up (or down) depending on demand, so get there early. No refunds.

Hideous reader, have you not noticed the leaf corpses strewn on the pavement? The stygian dark outside, even though it’s just past tea time?

Aye tis come again. Death season, when women with warty noses gather to mix their potions and slather their pungent unguents pon their flight rods and cats slink in and out of the shadows who art their kin…

Sorry, went a bit Gaiman there. Here’s five links gonna shit you up bruv. Halloween innit.

1. Saving the toughest for first: Current 93 doing Thomas Ligotti’s heat death of the universe poem I Have a Special Plan for This World.

This is really horrid, I’m sorry.

Be as strong as you can.

It won’t make any difference.


2. Perfect slaughtering season fare: Praeterlimina – a journal of daemonology, magic and the human condition.

Smart motherfuckers having hyperstitional fun, like MR James gone digital.

3.  And this? Well this is just a cosy cuddle by comparison isn’t it, a wonderful reunion with an old friend?

Well no, no it’s not really. Go to 28:26.

4. A Batman horror comic I did a while back . The only comic I’ve ever tried to make I think, weird for someone who likes comics so much…

The Mindless Lads were kind enough to pimp it for me a bit at the time, so apologies if you’ve seen it on here before. I would’ve been doing it around this time of year a couple of years ago, maybe that’s why I just remembered it. I think it’s actually not that bad – loads of mistakes obvs, but it does an alright job of providing a bat-channel for some of the black hole / speculative realist / super-nihilist stuff I was reading at the time. It’s definitely a bit grim, with the amateurishness hopefully contributing to rather than detracting from the  intended, alienated affect that earns it a spot here. That and I can’t think of anything else.



5. Finally, an old favourite. Traditional at this time of year because that brilliant Madrid sunshine is quite the tonic.

The most Ballardian film ever, anticipating his Mediterranean/riviera period by a couple of decades, but with a lovely EC Comics kick in the finish.

What’s The Story?
Madame Soleil’s wax museum is unveiling a model of Batman, but when the figure is unveiled, it’s not a wax dummy of Batman, but the Riddler, in the flesh!

What’s The Story?

The Penguin is free from prison, and has taken up a new career — as a crime fighter!

What’s The Story?

The nefarious Catwoman is up to her old tricks


It starts with money, of course. A demand, in fact, for rent.

When Multiversity was first conceived, the credit crunch, brought in by the rentier class’ insatiable demand for unearned money, had only just happened and the full extent of it wasn’t really known.

What’s The Story?

False-Face, a master of disguise who loves all kinds of falsehood, is planning a complicated caper

Will this do?

Cerebus: Church & State Vol II

December 17th, 2014

like reading a newspaper, and it feels like getting reports from a real other world, one which has its own history, politics, and theology.

In later storylines, this distinction between Estarcion and the real world is broken down, to the point that one book is almost entirely given over to a discussion of the Bible, and Sim seems to believe, at least somewhat, that he was writing the prehistory of our own world — but so did Tolkien, and while Sim’s fictional world is nowhere near as fully thought-out as Tolkien’s, it was, for a while, possible to believe that it was, if only in Sim’s mind.
Trigger warning: this piece discusses rape.

Batman On Screen: Batman (1943)

December 13th, 2014

I hear you’re a racist now, Batman…