January 20th, 2016



In this innovative episode we find a hitherto undiscovered technical issue which means The Beast Must Die literally phones it this week. Nevertheless we manage to squeeze out a firm nugget of podcast gold. This is the equivalent of when a band releases it’s early demos, home recordings and the sounds of them farting om the bath and all the fans have to pretend that it’s really their favourite record, even though they miss the sheen and polish of the studio more than they could ever say and they force themselves to listen repeatedly through gritted teeth out of some ill-judged sense of loyalty and integrity even though the cold universe neither knows nor cares.

It’s like that. Are you ready to be heartbroken? Yes? OK then come join

<ITEM>Admin, admin getcha admin. Plus the technical problems rear their head.

<ITEM> Top new section ‘SILENCE! whilst we see if my cats sound like Chewbacca‏!’

<ITEM> What would YOUR Lynx fragrance be and why and how but mostly why?

<ITEM> Mark E. Smith’s forthcoming swing album

<ITEM> Reviewniverse hott and sexxxxy action. Multi-formats! Variable sound quality! The boys soldiering on like…soldiers recording a comics podcast? Talking All New All Different Avengers, Stray Bullets: Sunshine & Roses, X-Force, Epic Illustrated, Star Lord, Lobo: Convention Special, Animal Man, All New All Different X-Men, Snow Blind and so, so much more whilst somehow so much less.

<ITEM> Sorry!
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You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

At the centre of it all

January 11th, 2016

A great black hole has entered the world.

When the tears have subsided there will perhaps be more to say on this, but for now just want to put something up to mark the day and share this, which was rattling around my head a lot lately and last week especially. Check the bouncy little 303 squelch thing from about 00.55. He was ferociously good while dying.


Photo by Mick Rock, 1973. Jacket by God, infinity.

Will Blog For Cash

October 29th, 2015

So once again the Mindless Ones will be at the Galaxy’s Greatest Comic Convention, Thought Bubble. You can find us at tables six and seven in New Dock (don’tmentiontheoldname) Hall on the fourteenth and fifteenth of November.

Bobsy, Andre Whickey, The Beast Must Die, Gary Lactus, and Illogical Volume will all be there (sadly Mister Attack, who has been with us for the past few years, will not be attending this year), and you will be able to buy Cindy & Biscuit and Terminus comics from The Beast Must Die, or the adventures of Andrew & Stephen or The Cleaner from Gary Lactus. And you will be able to see Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die doing a very special SILENCE!, and you won’t even have to give them any money for that (though you can, of course).

“But wait!”, I hear you cry, “there are FIVE Mindless Ones attending the convention, not two! What do Bobsy, Andre Whickey, and Illogical Volume have to offer me, other than their raw animal sexuality?”

This has, in previous years, posed a problem for those of us who are less obviously artistically gifted than the SILENCE! duo. We have previously attempted to sell my books, which don’t have any pictures in at all, with limited success, and to sell Illogical Volume, with even more limited success (he always comes back).

You will, of course, still be able to purchase some of my books, and we will still be entertaining offers for Illogical Volume, but this year, those of us who communicate only by means of text will be doing something different as well.

Have you ever wanted your own personal Mindless Ones blog post, written just for YOU? If so, now is your chance!

Throughout Thought Bubble weekend (depending on the vagaries of laptop battery life and the Royal Armories’ shonky wi-fi), we will be liveblogging on the subjects of your choosing. YOU, yes YOU! could have your own Mindless Ones blog post, custom-written by our blogging artisans.

For just a penny a word, we will write blog posts of any length. Have you a burning desire to be updated on the saga of Bobsy’s superhero underpants? Do you really want to read Illogical Volume writing five hundred words on why David Cameron is a great bunch of lads? Do you want to know who would win in a fight between the Thing and Darkseid? Do you want Andre Whickey to summarise his opinions on the pop music the modern young people listen to, with their Bay City Rollers and their hippity hoppiting, rather than that old stuff he writes about? Would you like a ten thousand word essay on the Clone Saga, in iambic pentameter?

Now you can have just that. Bobsy, Illogical Volume, and Andre Whickey will be tag-team blog-posting over the weekend. Short posts will be written by one of us solo, longer posts by some combination of the three. We will write words right in front of your astonished faces, and post them to the Internet for all to see.

We will be starting at a penny a word, but rates may go up (or down) depending on demand, so get there early. No refunds.

Hideous reader, have you not noticed the leaf corpses strewn on the pavement? The stygian dark outside, even though it’s just past tea time?

Aye tis come again. Death season, when women with warty noses gather to mix their potions and slather their pungent unguents pon their flight rods and cats slink in and out of the shadows who art their kin…

Sorry, went a bit Gaiman there. Here’s five links gonna shit you up bruv. Halloween innit.

1. Saving the toughest for first: Current 93 doing Thomas Ligotti’s heat death of the universe poem I Have a Special Plan for This World.

This is really horrid, I’m sorry.

Be as strong as you can.

It won’t make any difference.


2. Perfect slaughtering season fare: Praeterlimina – a journal of daemonology, magic and the human condition.

Smart motherfuckers having hyperstitional fun, like MR James gone digital.

3.  And this? Well this is just a cosy cuddle by comparison isn’t it, a wonderful reunion with an old friend?

Well no, no it’s not really. Go to 28:26.

4. A Batman horror comic I did a while back . The only comic I’ve ever tried to make I think, weird for someone who likes comics so much…

The Mindless Lads were kind enough to pimp it for me a bit at the time, so apologies if you’ve seen it on here before. I would’ve been doing it around this time of year a couple of years ago, maybe that’s why I just remembered it. I think it’s actually not that bad – loads of mistakes obvs, but it does an alright job of providing a bat-channel for some of the black hole / speculative realist / super-nihilist stuff I was reading at the time. It’s definitely a bit grim, with the amateurishness hopefully contributing to rather than detracting from the  intended, alienated affect that earns it a spot here. That and I can’t think of anything else.



5. Finally, an old favourite. Traditional at this time of year because that brilliant Madrid sunshine is quite the tonic.

The most Ballardian film ever, anticipating his Mediterranean/riviera period by a couple of decades, but with a lovely EC Comics kick in the finish.

What’s The Story?
Madame Soleil’s wax museum is unveiling a model of Batman, but when the figure is unveiled, it’s not a wax dummy of Batman, but the Riddler, in the flesh!

What’s The Story?

The Penguin is free from prison, and has taken up a new career — as a crime fighter!

What’s The Story?

The nefarious Catwoman is up to her old tricks


It starts with money, of course. A demand, in fact, for rent.

When Multiversity was first conceived, the credit crunch, brought in by the rentier class’ insatiable demand for unearned money, had only just happened and the full extent of it wasn’t really known.

What’s The Story?

False-Face, a master of disguise who loves all kinds of falsehood, is planning a complicated caper

Will this do?