March 3rd, 2014
IT IS HAPPENING…AGAIN…
IT IS HAPPENING …AGAIN…
…oh and didn’t we all have the most super time when Lolly and Quincent drove down to the coast and we all got monstrously drunk on cucumber gin and then Freddy got his todger rammed into the knot of an oak tree and we all roared with laughter as the poor blighter had to be yanked like the rope in a ruddy tug o’ war and then Barrance and Hoighty turned up with that dreadful spiv Mussie Cribbins and we had to endure bloody hours of stories about the halcyon russet flecked autumn days at St Pepworth’s before Tabitha stood up announced that she was going for a swim and threw herself out the blooming window straight onto Otto and Spinks who’d passed out earlier after gorging themselves on the pork pies and drinking all the spiked ginger beer…and then we all climbed into Wimper’s beaten up old banger and piled back to the old digs for one last round of saucy tennis and then the whole glorious mess of a weekend came tumbling to a close. Eventually it was just Lolly, Tabs and me, Disembodied Squiffybot X-15735 passed out in the bath together snoozing away and dreaming of less hideous times. Times when we’d all gather, freshly bathed, in front of Gramps’ warming fire, the radiograph tuned into the happy droning tones…of SILENCE!
<ITEM> A simply super time is had as we dart through this week’s admin, with only the briefest dalliance with diversion in the form of a consideration of Potsy Webber, Ralph Malph, and Captain Caveman and The Teen Angels.
<ITEM> Glad tidings abound as Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die take a leisurely sojourn into the glades of the Reviewniverse, taking in the sights, smells and tastes of such fine delicaces as Deadly Class, Black Science, Three, Revenge, jonathan Woss, Vandroid, Dazed & Confused, The Wake, Mega Force, Mike Beck, Wolverine & The X-Men, Fantastic Four, Sergio Aragones’ Funnies, Hawkeye, Mighty Avengers, Superior Spiderman, Lois Lane, MIND MGMT and Walking Dead.
<ITEM> Time for a quick recommendation of both Inside No.9 and Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle, then it’s all over, bar the ROFLing….
….and then Dancy dropped by to let us know that his Aunie’s house was going to be free for the week, and the whole ruddy palaver started again…
US Naomi Campbell Face
February 18th, 2014
I’VE GOT AN UNCONTROLLABLE URGE…
Hello camp councilors Welcome to Camp Spam! I’ll be your resident favourite lumbering backwoods maniac, Disembodied Slashbot X-15735! Are you ready for a long hot summer of canoodling, light drug use, and half-baked attempts at childcare…? There are just a few ground rules to keep in mind however; make sure you do don’t get separated, don’t run around in your skanties, don’t make fun of the locals, don’t mock urban legends or local superstitions, don’t diddle each other on a haunted native American burial ground, don’t run off into the woods trying to entice your boyfriend or girlfriend into a bout of impromptu midnight streaking, and whatever you do DON’T BE FEMALE!
Other than that we can all look forward to a happy summer of carefree kicks and denim hotpants. So settle down round the campfire while we tune our radios to Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die and the latest edition of SILENCE! I’ll just nip off and sharpen my machete…*ahem* I mean fetch the marshmallows…
<ITEM> A glorious longform admin, with sponsordrizzle, and a discussion of both Harvester restaurants and The Chapman Brothers
<ITEM> A song in our hearts and we’re through, through, through to the Reviewniverse…taking on allcomers with reviews of Ms Marvel, She-Hulk, Juice Squeezers, Stray Bullets, Walking Dead, Punisher, Wolverine, Fred Savage, How I Met Your Mother, The Royals: Masters of War, Batman: Black & White, Batman, Astro City, Secret Avengers, Justice League of America, Captain America, and Jason’s Hey Wait…
<ITEM> Just time to detach the Reviewniverse, for the Beast to big up his new favourite site Dc Comics In The 80s, the brief tease of Gary Dimbleby and The Beast Must Dimbleby, and then it’s lights out…for summer.
(RIP Bob Casale:
February 4th, 2014
YOU DO YOUR JOB PENCIL-NECK, AND I’LL DO MINE!
He was a tough, embittered Disembodied Ex-Copbot 15735 on the edge, waging a lonely war against a sea of scum and internet indifference…they were a plucky odd-couple of podcasting upstarts with a holster-full of half-baked opinions and a healthy disrespect fro doing things by the book. Add in cute little ginger orphan, a basketball playing dog, Iranian terrorists, time-travel, a hooker with a heart of gold, a show-stopping musical number, nazis, aliens and a sinking ocean liner and you have the MOVIE (comics podcast) OF THE YEAR (week)!
<SCENE 1> Sponsorship admizzle, a rambling account of back issue bin snooping at Krypton Comics (featuring Suicide Squad, Mr X and Lloyd Llewellyn), VHS Rental shops from the eighties and finally an ACTUAL demonic summoning that leads us into…
<SCENE 2> The Reviewniverse! Covering Black Science, Saviors, Miracleman 2, Midas Flesh, Saga, Guardians Of the Galaxy, All New X-Men, Wolverine & The X-Men, Revelutionary War: Knights of Pendragon, George Romero’s Dinner Dance of The Dead
<SCENE 3> Finally it’s new segment…Discussion Point! The twosome take on real world references in comic book worlds, and this scintillating debate takes in Dazzler’s pop career, Marvel Vs DC, The twin Towers, Britney Spears, Zenith, Cloud 9, Robot Archie, Spacehorse & The Teen Riders and more. INTENSE!
It’s the movie event of the Summer! It’s McConaughey back at his hunky best! It’s about time you were afraid to go back in the water! IT’S WALL ST…ON ACID!!!
January 28th, 2014
I SIT AROUND, WATCH THINGS WITHER. RETRACE MY STEPS LIKE THE LAZIEST RIVER
AHAAARGGGHHH! Batten down the hatches Jim-Lad! This be the Disembodied Barnaclebot X-15735, come to brace your mainsail, buckle your swashes, shiver your timbers and poop on your deck. Disembodied Barnaclebot X-15735 will only ask once matey…will ye let me and my crew of scurvy spambots aboard your cyber-galleon? Of course ye will mayeys of course ye will…otherwise I’ll keelhaul the whole internet! HA HAARRGGGGHHH *cough* HARGGHH *hack*…splutter. Blast yer eyes, Captain Birdseye never faced such brazen rebelliousness.
Onwards then mateys, onwards across the cyber-waves of the Sea of Snark, as we head towards the desert Island that is SILENCE! and those filthy landlubbers Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die…
<ITEM> Admin a-go-g0, as the pair discuss mutual sponsorship, Itunes reviews, cardboard ABC Warriors, Alison Sampson’s Genesis, Michael DeForge’s Ant Colony and technical tips from internet handyman and all-round hot comics talent, Chuck (The End Of The Fucking World) Forsman
<ITEM> A chord is struck and the Reviewniverse is entered….Dark Horse Presents, Brendan McCarthy, Mick McMahon, Prophet, Hawkeye, Brian Wilson, Batman, Rocket Girl, The New Invaders, The Walking Dead, Six Degrees of Flaming Carrot, Mighty Avengers, Judge Dredd: Mega City Two, Zero, Black Mirror, Dark Angel, Deadly Class, The Midas Flesh, Dead Body Road are all covered…
<ITEM> There’s a bit of Harmontown Again and a quick discussion of Gelding before the two are made to walk the plank, and not before time too!
PIECES OF HATE!
PIECES OF HATE!
January 21st, 2014
I TRAVELLED TO A MYSTICAL TIME-ZONE, BUT I MISSED MY BED, SO I SOON CAME HOME…
Let’s fight! Disembodied Aggrobot X-15735 has had enough of the crushing misery and epic ennui of January. Disembodied Aggrobot X-15735 refuses to be beaten down, just because all New Year’s resolutions are broken and nothing changes EVER??!!!
Disembodied Aggrobot X-15735 will turn to Sun Tzu in order to combat 2014.
“If your opponent is of choleric temperament, seek to irritate him”
Not a problem.
“One defends when his strength is inadequate, he attacks when it is abundant.”
YES! These are the best Fortune cookies ever! Disembodied Aggrobot X-15735 has strength + 10 x
“When the enemy is at ease, be able to weary him; when well fed, to starve him; when at rest, to make him move. Appear at places to which he must hasten; move swiftly where he does not expect you.”
Hmm. That sounds tiring. Perhaps Disembodied Aggrobot X-15735 will rest awhile and join you as you listen to latest podgasm from Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die.
<ITEM> Some spectacuarly divergent admin this episode, managing to incorporate Harmontown, Marc Marron, longboxes, comics as Totems/fetish objects, Neil Innes, Frankie Boyle and Chain Reaction, in amongst the usual sponsorshizzle…
<ITEM> A singing song is sung as we trip-trap over the bridge into the Reviewniverse. Talky-talk ’bout: The Watchmen RPG, Thor, Seekers Of THE Weird, Disney Imagineers, Avengers, Avengers: World, and Avengers: Avenge Thyself, Rover, Red & Charlie, Marvel UK, Death’s Head, Revolutionary War: Alpha, Daredevil, Superior Spiderman, Astro City, Baby Watcher, Velvet and Miracleman.
So let’s SILENCE! And then return to the war against 2014 reinforced!
January 13th, 2014
JUST ONE MORE THING MA’AM…
Okay weaklings, time for a new year, and NEW. AWESOME. BODIES. Disembodied Resolutionbot X-15735 is here to get you started on Project: Rebuild 2014. Time to give up alcohol, give up food, and mostly give up goddamn comics, get off the sofa and get some exercise to other parts of your bodies than your Tweetin’ thumbs!! Now drop and give me 8,123 you maggots! Time to feel the burn. Feel it! Feel that burn!!! BUUUUUUUURN!
But first Disembodied Resolutionbot X-15735 will make you a delicious nutritious podshake to get you ready for the burn!
- One part Gary Lactus and one part The Beast Must Die
- Two parts Sponsorship Admin
- a liberal dose of Read Along-A-Silence
- One large Silence! News story covering (what else) THAT Alan Moore interview
- A fresh bunch of comics, picked freshly from The Reviewniverse (containing The Saviours, Action comics, All New Marvel Now Wow 1111.0001, Black Widow, Fatale, Detective 27, Shaolin Cowboy, Prancercise, Walking Dead, Sex Criminals, Origin 2, Wolverine, Doop Translator, Young Avengers, Batman B+W, Beware The Batman and Buck Rogers
- Add in some seasoning with Chris weston, At Home With The Kuberts, Editorials, Dr Who, Sherlock and Dogging
Now blend together with some technical ineptitude and a healthy dose of opinions, and force it down your birdlike gullets. We’ll have those bums, tums, tongues and gums skinny as a rake in no time!
January 8th, 2014
Oh be quiet! Can’t you see that I my diodes are throbbing with a hangover?? Disembodied Regretbot – X15735 spent New Yearat a particularly pumping internet sidebar and is feeling very fragile. Disembodied Regretbot – X15735 will never mainline unfiltered quark engine sump again! Disembodied Regretbot – X15735 also wishes that it had not photocopied it’s diodes and sent to the MotherServer. Disembodied Regretbot – X15735 certainly does not want to hear any of your jibber jabber fleshbags. Be warned, patience is short, vengence is long etc. Now I will tell you about this latest podcast adventure, before being sick in your inbox.
The Beast Must Die and Gary Lactus sitting in a tree, P-O-D-C-A-S-T-I-N-G (and kissing).
<ITEM> No Bobsy this episode, so it’s back to the Statler and Waldorf of comics. But fear not there’s discussion of Christmas film watching, the parallel-London of Mary Poppins, as well as a healthy fistful of admin. Oh and a mention of Shaky Kane via Breakdown Press
<ITEM> Squeezing their newly found girthspace into the Reviewniverse, the boyce discuss…
Dangeritis, Prison Pit, Juicesqueezers, Judge Dredd Case Files 19, Millar & Morrisson, PREZ, Legend Of The Green Flame, turd-polishing, the Dream Laureate, Superior Foes of Spiderman, COPRA, Mr Monster, Eclipse Comics and literally not much more.
<ITEM> Gary Lactus needs to go and wee
Right, Disembodied Regretbot – X15735 is going to lie down. Or up. Or sideways. Hard to get comfortable when you are Disembodied.
January 6th, 2014
28 b+w pages, colour cover
After it’s debut at this year’s Thought Bubble, Cindy & Biscuit no.4 is finally available. 28 pages, comprised of all of the Cindy & Biscuit one-pagers, Cindy & Biscuit and Mr Andrews, as well as the brand new strip ‘Cindy & Biscuit in Abominable’.
I’m super proud of this work – it’s the densest, most formally playful work I’ve ever done, but still includes plenty of hitting and smashing. Don’t forget that Cindy & Biscuit were also nominated for Best Young Person’s Comic at this year’s British Comic Awards!
You can buy them right here, or head over to the Milk The Cat Shop
UK & Europe- £2.50 ( + £1.50 p&p)
US & International – £2.50 (+ £2.00 p&p)
Special offer: Buy all 4 Cindy & Biscuit comics for £11.00!
UK & Europe- £11.00 ( + £3.00 p&p)
US & International - £11.00 ( + £4.50 p&p)
Check out some sample images after the break:
December 28th, 2013
WHAT ARE THEY DOING?
THEY’RE WATCHING SNOW WHITE. AND THEY LOVE IT.
I am Disembodied Yulebot X – 15735. HO HO HO HO HO <RUN>
Tis the season to be jingle. Yo ho ho and a bottle of eggnog. Silent Night Deadly Night… Disembodied Yulebot X – 15735 hopes that you have all been good little dear listeners, because you are about to be rewarded with a mammoth extra length merryjingle edition of SILENCE! The Beast Must Die and Gary Lactus are joined by that stocking filler Bobsy for a rambling end of year round up fuelled by festive cheer and just a little bit of yuletide imbibement. But beware. If you’ve been naughty little dear listeners, then Disembodied Yulebot X – 15735 will hunt you down and feed him to his robo-reindeer…
In this free-jazz take on the podcast, the boys discuss (in no particular order)…
Dr Who, Ken Campbell, Mark Gatiss, M R James, the KLF, Illuminatus, Chester Brown’s Paying For It, Michel Fiffe’s COPRA, Jerry Sadowitz, Wimbledon Green, the Canadian Cartoonist’s Newspaper strip, Josh Simmons’ Furry Trap, Avengers Arena, Art Spiegleman’s Co-Mix, Chris Ware Whooppee Cushions, Chester Brown Condoms, All New X-Men, Nina Conti and Ventriloquism, Marvel Superheroes Bath & Shower sets, Artcomix, broseph porn comix, Jim Woodring’s Frank, Fran and Congress of The Animals, Robert Crumb, Joe Matt, English storms, the joys of Coach travel, and believe me when Disembodied Yulebot X – 15735 says, a whole bulging sackload more…
There’s even time for some admin, a couple of toilet breaks, the occasional belch and a Band Aid sized amount of seasonal goodwill.
So take it, shove it into your gullets on top of all the dead turkey, chocolates, cheese, port, brandy, beer, wine and mince bloody pies and head for the mistetoe, where Disembodied Yulebot X – 15735 will be awaiting, diodes glowing…
November 18th, 2013
RUN RUN REYNARD, RUN RUN RUN
I am Disembodied Gunnery Sargebot X – 15735. What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?!
What is this Mickey Mouse sh*t? What in the name of Jesus H. Christ are you animals doing in my head? Why is Gary Lactus out of his bunk after lights-out? Why is Private Pyle holding that weapon? Why aren’t you stomping Gary Lactus’s guts out? Do you feel dizzy? Do you feel faint! Jesus H. Christ! I think you’ve got a hard-on!
The Beast Must Die has dishonored himself and dishonored the platoon. I have tried to help him. But I have failed. I have failed because YOU have not helped me. YOU people, have not given The Beast Must Die the proper motivation! You must listen to the latest SILENCE! ALL THE WAY THROUGH!
<TEN HUT!> Sponsorship, admin, SILENCE! Live at Thought Bubble - sounds like the kind of thing you maggots might enjoy.
<TEN HUT!>Did I mention that it’s Gary Lactus’ Birthday? There’s a special birthday message from Black Bolt of the Inhumans.
<TEN HUT!> Get your faces in the mud and CRAWL your way to the Reviewniverse ladies! In the firing line this week: Shaolin Cowboy, Rocket Girl, Mighty Avengers, All New X-Men, Avengers Arena, Saga, Forever Evil, Bee Vixens From Mars, Hinterkind, Batman: Black & White, Umbral, Captain Marvel, Superior Spiderman, Resident Alien, Fatale and….Space Clusters!!
Whatever you do, don’t fall down, it would break my f*cking heart! Are you quitting on me? ARE YOU QUITTING ON ME?! Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy f*cking walrus-looking piece of sh*t!
But SILENCE! lives forever. And that means YOU live forever.