SILENCE! #279

May 6th, 2020

I FORGOT IT’S HAPPENING AGAIN SLOW DIAGONAL I FORGOT I FORGOT

Take that bit there, the thin bit… that’s righ, Now pull it towards you whilst twisting it. NO! ANTI-CLOCKWISE! Sorry, didn’t mean to shout but you could have blown us all up there… okay, now take the round thing and clip it onto the end using the square thing. That’s it, you’ve got a blurb!

Hey! Do you have a mind? Well not for long because Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die are going to blow it with another issue of SILENCE! Just how are they going to do that? With a series of items of course!

<ITEM> Some initial chat to lull you into a false sense of security. “How are you?” “I’m fine.” That sort of thing.

<ITEM> BANG! The thing you least expected! Gary Lactus has watched a film and tells you about it in an explosive SILENCE! (Because the Film’s Started). The film he’s seen is The Illumination of Jim Woodring.

<ITEM> With a head still swimming, the boys stamp on what’s left of your brains by holding your head down the Reviewniverse then flushing Rogue Trooper: Cinnabar, Thriller, Love and Rockets and Jason Shiga’s Meanwhile all over it.

<ITEM> A polite wind-up chat to bring you to your senses. “Any plans for the weekend?” “No.” That sort of thing.

Dare you listen?

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

 

THEY’RE BACK!

After an incredible eight-and-a-half year break, Fraser Geesin‘s hilarious comedy creations that defined a generation are back to make your sides explode so violently that the atoms of your ribs will be scattered beyond space, time and thought whilst you piss yourself with a laser-sharp yellow jet of endless, mirthful urine at a pressure so high it will cut the Earth in two.

 


 
Why not look further into the incredible mind of Fraser Geesin, maybe even give him some money by buying some of his products or simply bask in his seemingly endless genius then weep tears of sexual thunder as your soul is upgraded from the disgusting cesspool it was before you visited FraserGeesin.com.

In the beginning there was the word. Prior to that there was the introduction. Since the dawn of time immemorial began throughout history, the introduction has introduced readers to stories that have introduced us to the power of stories. What dark truths lie in the stories we tell our children? Powerful, dark truths that’s what. Hadn’t thought about that had you? You’re welcome.

Neil Gaiman
East Grinstead
April 1988

It is my pleasure and honour to introduce this podcast by my good friend The Beast Must Die. When I was introduced to The Beast Must Die as a schoolboy, little did I know that 30 years later I would be introducing his Magnum opus. This podcast will introduce the lister to The Beast’s unique relationship to introductions, covering curated TV broadcasts of films such as Alex Cox‘s introductions to Movie Drome and what introductions meant to him as a youngster reading graphic novels for the first time. He goes on to cover Alan Moore‘s introduction to The Dark Knight Returns, Pat Mills‘ introduction to the Titan edition of Nemesis Book 7 by Mills himself and John Hicklenton, Zenith Book 2 introduced by Grant Morrison, Frank Miller‘s introduction to Batman Year One, Morrison’s introduction to Peter Milligan and Duncan Fegredo’s Enigma and Milligan’s introduction to Morrison’s Invisibles.
Oh yes, and Neil Gaiman‘s dominance in the world of introductions. So, without further ado, I invite you to “hey listen” to the master scholar of all that comes before everything.

Gary Lactus
North Portslade
April 2020

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

 

SILENCE! #277

April 18th, 2020

HOLY HECK! WHAT THE FUN IS THAT?! PARDON MY FRENCH BUT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUN IS THAT?! THERE! UP THERE! LOOK!! IT’S DOWN THERE TOO! IT’S… IT’S… BLURB!!!!

Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die are back together, just like the good old days, talking over Skype, drinking beer, and being total legends forever cruising down the highway until they crash into the Sun and the sky explodes!

<ITEM> Talking! Covid 19, crumpets, Closed comic shops, the collapse of television, lunch and dinner and The Beast has seen the sci-fi horror, Await Further Instructions.

<ITEM> Come with us to Reviewniverse and hear tell of Steed and Mrs. Peel, Modesty Blaise, Punisher: Soviet, Green Arrow: The Longbow Hunters, Jimmy Olsen, Ilya’s second collection of his End Of The World Club strips, Timewarp and a whole lotta diverging chat about revisionism, the death of Gary Lactus and bladders.

<ITEM> The end of the episode

<ITEM> Hey listen!

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

 

SILENCE! #276

April 10th, 2020

Hello there. This issue of SILENCE! has been put together from conversations between Gary Lactus and The Dear Listener. Normal SILENCE! service shall return soon.

CONTENTS!

Little Kieron Gillen is off school and talks The Ludocrats and Asterix with the recent passing of Albert Uderzo. He also bigs up Pulp by Brubaker and Phillips before getting on with his homework.

Spare 5 tells Gary about life at home right now where he’s found time to get round to reading Uzumaki and watching Galaxy Quest.

John Bishop tackles the topics of the sickness of collecting, his new dog, Ryan Brown and Blast Furnace.

Illogical Volume fulfills a diversity quota with his Scottishness. He tells Gary about The Drifting Classroom the newly colourised From Hell and Gary tells him about Billionaire Island and there’s speculation about our post-virus world.

Zom is our final caller even though he lives close enough to Gary’s spaceship in space to shout. He’s done a right good read of David Boring so the pals talk about Daniel Clowes and ponder what sort of Batman they are.

The end. Now wash your hands. Seriously, wash your hands.

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

 

SILENCE! #275

March 10th, 2020

ALL HAS BEEN FORGOTTEN AND THE PLASTIC TURNS TO ROTTEN
RAYS AND SMELLS

Look, long story short, I had this dog that fed on anger. I got into an argument with a mate and it was too much for the dog and it exploded a red mist which covered the city, making everyone furious. The more angry everyone got, the more the red mist grew. Eventually the world burned, everything collapsed, billions died and now I’ve got a cat that eats guilt. So that’s why I didn’t write a blurb.

<ITEM> Welcome to our special foil-embossed anniversary issue! To celebrate we have more interruptions that any SILENCE! ever!

<ITEM> There’s some prime preambling here with talk of Marvel Comics The Untold Story and Steve Gerber. There’s some great Ash Wednesday chat and we say absolutely nothing new about Dan Didio. Oh, and we go on about whether there’s any point in comics continuity.

<ITEM> We enter The Reviewniverse where The End Of The Century Club, Sandman, Elektra Lives Again, Silver Surfer: Black, Deadline and Protector are all covered alongside the usual digressions.

<ITEM> Some of the most spectacular backmin chat you’ve ever heard!

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

 

SILENCE! #272

December 24th, 2019

 

ARE YOU HANGING UP YOUR STOCKING ON YOUR WALL? ARE YOUR PARENTS ANNOYED THAT YOU PUT THAT NAIL IN YOUR WALL WITHOUT ASKING? ARE YOU THINKING YOU SHOULD HAVE HUNG YOUR STOCKING SOMEWHERE OTHER THAN ON YOUR WALL?

HOx3

Here’s your Christmas stocking and your presents. We’re not going to tell you what’s in them, that would ruin the surprise. Hope you like it, we’ve thrown the receipts away so you can’t take them back to the 24 hour garage.

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

 

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Here we are again with a giant-sized container of content for you, the dear listener.

<ITEM> Talking about stuff including Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die‘s recent trip to Glasgow Comic Con.

<ITEM> Lorne Brown’s Comics And Beer event in Brighton.

<ITEM> Gary Lactus takes two boxes of childhood to tat dealer Lorne Brown and records the results in Gary Lactus Sells Out.

<ITEM> It’s off tom The Reviewniverse where your pals digest Third World War, People Protector Akay: The Devil’s Pawn by Dom Regan, Giant-Size X-Statix, House of X, Secret Warps: Arach-Knight, Green Lantern, Marilyn Manor and a load of other stuff in a series of inevitable digressions.

<ITEM> It’s SILENCE! To Astonish with Gary, Mr. Die and Al Kennedy of House To Astonish bothering Nick Roche, Chip Zdarsky, Al Ewing and Kelly Kanayama in front of an audience of tolerant souls.

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

LOOK AT THIS FABULOUS GALLERY OF VISUAL AIDS!