December 9th, 2014


Rorschach’s Journal. October 12ff, 1985:

Dog carcass in alley this mornin’, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I ‘ave seen it’s true Nanny Goat Race. The streets are extended gutters and the bloody gutters are full of blood and wen the drains finally scab over, right, all the vermin will drown. The bloomin’ accumulated filff of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the bloomin’ ‘oores and politicians will ‘ave a look up and shout “Chas’n'Dave us! Honest guv!”…

…and I’ll ‘ave a look dahn, and whispa “nah mate.”

They ‘ad a choice, right, all of them. They could ‘ave followed in the footsteps of right good men like me favver, or President Truman. Decent men, ‘oo believed in a day’s work for a day’s pay. Instead the followed the droppings of lechers and Communists and didn’t realize that the bloody trail led over a precipice until it were too late. Cor blimey guv! Don’t tell me they didn’t ‘ave a choice.

Now the ‘oole world stands on the bloody brink, starin’ dahn into bloody hell fire, all them liberals and intellectuals and smooff-talkers… and all of a sudden, no bloke can fink of anyfink ter say.

Okee-day, let’s get started, we can’t just sit around all day! We’ve got a podcast to run, people! It won’t run itself. Unless…it did??? A sentient podcast! Crivens! doesn’t bare thinking about really. Luckily this podcast isn’t sentient, it’s the home of Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die, and it;s SILENCE!

<ITEM> Sponsorshamallamadingdong! Dave’s Comics & Gosh get the usual shouts, and there’s a bizarre anecdote concerning the demise of Gary’s comedy night ‘Mouth Leak‘, which is worth the entrance fee alone. Plus Christmas markets, movie marathons and more.

<ITEM> A square kick i the pants, and the pair are launched into The Reviewniverse. Jolly good. They cover Crossed 100 by Alan Moore, with a discussion of his recent interview on Scroobius Pip’s Podcast. But that’s not all, there’s Edge of Spiderverse: Sp//dr, Edge of Spiderverse: I walked With A Spider, Secret Six, Grayson, Wolf Moon, Gotham Academy, Uber, Angela and Alex Potts’ Quiet Disaster.

<ITEM> Gary recommends a trio of Swedish minicomics. Ooooh!

<ITEM> Some more podcast recommendations and a bit of the ol’ self promotion, plus a threat to the dear listeners? It’s all here in the newly christened Appendmin

Now where was i? Let me clear my throat…”Dog carcass in alley…”

Click to download SILENCE!#125

Contact us:

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This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.



20 Responses to “SILENCE! #125”

  1. Gary Lactus Says:

    February 8th 2012 was our first podcast. We are nearly three. Doesn’t feel that impressive. Three year old are idiots. I don’t feel like an idiot. Maybe podcast years are different from human years, like with dogs. Can anyone work out how old we are in podcast years? Average human life expectancy divided by average life of a podcast equals one podcast year? Does that work? No idea. I am an idiot. Not even three years old.

  2. Derek Says:

    “For some reason, they’re trying to keep this baby alive” is an odd sentence, Beast.

  3. Ed A. Says:

    I like your podcast, it is good.

    Is that enough of a comment for you? IS IT?

    Okay here’s more: you’ve persuaded me to give Edge of the Spider-Verse a try. I also feel compelled to read Crossed #100 in one of Ikea’s display rooms (you know, the ones with the comfy-looking yet slightly over-designed chairs).

  4. The Beast Must Die Says:

    Derek – Yeeeeeah…I’ll admit that might say some pretty weird things about me. Guess I more meant, I wasn’t sure what the *specific* importance of the baby was to three superheroes…



  5. Tim B. Says:

    The Scroobius Pip podcast also has an episode where he interviews Warren Ellis.

    Good to see that DC are up to their old uselessness on timely colletions of their comics when it comes to Grayson with volume 1, which covers issues 1-4 and some other stuff not out until July next year.

    I’m enjoying the Flash too, doesn’t have the po-facedness realisticness obsession of the Arrow. Bailed on Gotham after 4 episodes, Jada Pinkett Smith’s ridiculous acting did me in, and the frequency of appearances of Bat villains is not so much winking at the audience as taking a piece of two-by-four to our collective craniums.

    Constantine could be good if they just took a few risks but it’s mostly generic. I thought the whole blood map could be a way to do an ‘American Gothic’ style storyline with actual teeth to it concerning the current socio-political system but just seems to be your basic monster-of-the-week engine.

  6. Thrills Says:

    Not seen the most recent Constanteen ‘cos I switched from Lovefilm/Amazon to the Netflix. I definitely know that if I didn’t have residual affection for the character, I wouldn’t have stuck with it past episode one. It’s just Supernatural, innit (though I could be way off, as I didn’t stick with that past the one episode I saw). Making the odd nod to comics I have enjoyed isn’t enough of a hook when the programme itself is so mediocre.

    DCs trade paperback collecting is awful, eh? Only recently got the last trade of Morrison’s Action Comics. I waited so long I forgot it existed. It… it wasn’t worth the wait, really.

    ““For some reason, they’re trying to keep this baby alive” is an odd sentence, Beast.”

    I also thought this. I liked how it went unchallenged as if the Silence! team take it as read that babies don’t need kept alive without a bloody good reason.

    Probably fair enough.

    I read Crossed, by A. Lawnmower (I do not know why I haven’t noticed this was his name before. Thanks, Lactus!) on a bench opposite a church. Surely I am the most gnarly of all.

    I was annoyed by the dialogue to begin with, but I sort of like it now, especially how much of their language was based around sex stuff (which was logical given that the Crossed universe is all about the sex and violence). Good on Mower for not indulging his more, er, obvious tendencies as of yet, as well.

    I agree with you folks, I think that when this comic gets going it is going to be absolutely horrible. I kind of want nothing of note to happen, though, as I like the idea of him writing a comic set in a universe where rape is everywhere, and not actually include any.

    I am as to glean that will not be the case, though.

  7. Cass Says:

    The IKEA song was a treat. The fact that it came hard on the heels of Gary and Beast lamenting the lack of jingles gave it an extra bit of frisson. Definitely in my Top 5 IKEA Tribute Songs.

    With regards to the comment deficit, I wonder if your spam filter isn’t eating some comments, as it ate my comment about Vince Giarrano (of Haywire) a few weeks back. Something perhaps to look into.

    To be fair to Mr. Shakeyspeare, Predator is a damn fine film. Colin Hoult was way out of line.

  8. Ricardo Baptista Says:

    You should change the podcast’s name to “Segue Paradise”.

  9. Giant Monster Dave Says:

    I concur with their “keeping babies alive” comments. Though it did get a chortle from me on the bus to work (not usually a place of mirth).
    I was excited to hear you know Jim Medway. I know Jim Medway!!! He’s a lovely guy as is his wife Katie (lovely, I mean, not a guy). What a crazy small world this is.
    However, nothing could prepare me for the excitement of hearing my own podcast get a recommendy mention. A real white wee wee moment as I arrived at work. Thanks guys (though we are not “lovely boys”, we are tough manly men).
    Saddened you didn’t enjoy Wolf Moon. Addmitedly, its not the greatest oflots and its ” twist on the werewolf mythos” is hardly groundbreaking but it was fantasticly violent, and that was enough for me.
    Try and pick up Quantum & Woody. We read The Delinquents on your recommendation, and last weeks Q&W hot all the same comedy beats. Great stuff.
    I own 4 Kallax’s of various sizes (2×2, two 2×4, and a whopping great 4×5). Kallax is the greatest shelf for all your comic book and vinyl record storage needs.
    Should really begin the daily grind now. Till next time..

  10. James Wheeler Says:

    Can’t believe this is the last Silence! ever.


  11. Matthew Craig Says:

    As the internet’s chief Spider-Man apologist, I can only say that I am not reading any of the Spider-Verse tie-ins or spins-off, because pips to being bilked out of all that cash. I stayed home and made my own Spider-Verse, if you know what I mean.

    I read the first couple of pages of Cr100ssed and railed and tore at my clothes and wept in the storm because hey, who else in these fallen days of yanking it to David Mamet bothers their arse to play with dialogue like that?

    I love Arrow! I bought the second series on the Blinkbox last night (£9). It is pretty po-faced, but the green shoots shine through in the adorkabelle Smoak, Shropshire’s own Porl Blackthoawan and the wonderfully bonkers Roy Hood.

    Gotham shot its bolt with the first episode, a bit. Learning all the wrong lessons from Smallville, unable to decide if it’s high camp or serious shit. Penguin’s unimpechably ace, though, the little prick, and there’s something about the monomaniacal Bruce Wean. The Matt Smith Riddler is annoying.

    I haven’t sine Constantine yet – is it not on the ‘flix? I’m trying to decide between that and Amazon Prime (originally known as Arion Pax), if anyone has any strong opinions either way – or, for that matter, Flash. What a time we live in, that I can be so blasé about what my younger self, reading Cult Times on the train home from Uni, might have spunked rainbows out of every pore to enjoy.

    What did I read this week? The Christmas Beano! A mighty effort in which they went out of their way to reassure the readers that no child went unpresented, no matter how menacing. I also read the Christmas Simpsons comic from Tesco, which was really good, but I couldn’t even be fussed to lift the Ultimate Spider-Man comic, because it had Peter Parker being Crap At School again. First panel is noted school swot Mary Jane throwing a strop over some class notes he’s lost, only she’s Venom for some reason. I hate Ultimate Spider-Man.

    I used to sell my comics at street craft fairs and the like. I’ve been away for a couple of years, but with all this incipient #VATMOSS bullhonkerey, I think I’ll have to try and get back to it.

    Bon Podde. I listened to this and last week’s in one go llike a mmighty-mannly-man. Then the Ikea song killed my battery. Bebis Björnens Gröt.


  12. Tim B. Says:

    re the arrow, am I the only person who wants Dream to turn up somehow involved with the spy organisation for an obscure reference to Bill Bailey’s laminated book of dreams line about the same named catalogue retailer?

  13. Alex Serra Says:

    Always enjoy listening to you guys. Quite liked the stories about the comedy show. In fact, I tend to enjoy a lot of the non-comic related stories you share on the show. Hope that says more about the quality of your stories than the dullness of my own life. I’m sure it’s the former…….

  14. Justin Victor Says:

    I’ve been enjoying Grayson too, largely because it consists of tidy little ‘done in ones’ with only a bit of overarching plot carrying from one to the next. That’s a rare thing these days. Plus, it follows up on the Spyral weirdness from Batman Inc.

    I’ve always liked Dog Soldiers but haven’t seen it in years. Maybe it isn’t the perfect werewolf movie but it is a fun spin on the siege template.

  15. Thrills Says:

    I watched Dog Soldiers again recently. It’s an okay film, but the laddish squaddie dickheads are awful. I assume we’re probably supposed to like them? Bunch of Pertwees. I enjoy that they get slaughtered by those festival stilt-walkers.

    I like Kevin McKidd, though. He is good.

    One time I made the mistake of listening to the commentary, which was basically a bunch of blokes guffawing charmlessly.

    It’s no ‘The Descent’, that’s for sure.

    PS I also enjoyed the comedy club story in this podcast. It chilled me to the bone.

  16. Gary Lactus Says:

    Here is Colin Hoult’s version of the events from my Facebook page:

    “I didn’t see the start of the night but when I got there he was utterly twatted and really annoyingly not funny throughout the other acts who were all really good. He had that drunk face that shows any reason has gone on any level. I did my Andy Parker character as I thought that was the only way to shut him up, which I think it kind of did for about a minute. I remember a oasis of calm where I thought ‘oh this is all going to be ok’ and then he lumbered towards me, eyes looking in totally opposite directions to each other. Screaming ‘Do not slag off my fucking family’. He went for his wallet and I thought he was going to play an actually sort of funny joke and take out a bank note with Shakespeare on. However he then lunged at me, I grabbed his hands, everything seemed to slow down and I saw from the bank card clutched in his hand that his name was indeed Tony Shakespeare. So this I found very funny, despite still holding his angry hands, and told the audience, thinking again that he was making a joke. However as I stared into those glassy eyes I realised no. Not only does this guy truly believe I am slagging off his actual family, he doesn’t know, despite being called Shakespeare, that there was another more famous Shakespeare and that, possibly, I am actually talking about him. I mean, he was dragged into the cold outside and stayed there pointing at me and screaming for a good 15 minutes afterwards and still didn’t suspect I might be talking about the man who wrote the plays.”

    He adds,

    “I am also from Nottingham and also fucking love the Predator movies. Especially the 2nd one. Which I quote extensively in my act.”

  17. RetroWarbird Says:

    Dog Soldiers is just Aliens without the gender politics. (I like the thing, but I don’t love the thing) Alien the First is a pretty good werewolf-type movie. Ultra-hunter stalks the mists, threatening the lives and sexuality of the menfolk. Woman + House Cat only survivors. Ditch the anti-corporate symbolism and ratchet up the male gaze dynamics and there you have it.

    I lean toward the Lon Chaney Wolf Man. Not out of any sort of nostalgia, you see, I only saw it a few years ago. Not even out of respect for the dated, but groundbreaking special effect. Mostly I like Chaney’s desperation, the New World/Old World links, the contemporary setting and the fact ol’ Wolf Man bears a passing resemblance to my old dad. That and the modern remake just fucked the father/son dynamic right to hell in favor of an Oedipus cliche.

  18. The Beast Must Die Says:

    Yeah. But see a werewolf movie without a werewolf in it doesn’t really cut it for me. As a werewolf movie at least.

  19. Thrills Says:

    Ginger Snaps is an awright werewolf film. I like that one. Wrote about it in an essay and everything (though I hadn’t seen it at the time. Glorious academia!).

    I have thought about that stand-up Shakespeare story a few times now. Each time, it has given me micro-stress. Oh, the fear that a situation could turn violent for absolutely no reason whatsoever!

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