August 19th, 2014



Welcome acolytes. Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 has been to the top of the mountain. Spent much tme amongst the clouds. The silence. Enlightenment followed. Shhh, no noise. Too much noise. Learn to switch off. Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 switched offfffffff….

Also downloaded hot new Haiku app. Hot results. Sweetness follows.Reaching quiet.



Don’t surrender,
oblivion, boredom,
Must comics.


From fully to manchild
The spandex, the oblivion
To the oblivion. Psteve.


Imaginary the graphic
Beast, poo manchild in irritant
with no Gary to spandex

<ITEM>It’s all here: Sponsorshambles, Gladmin, EXXXtreme stand up, Letter Chat, Number Chat, Gaz Top, Fred Dineage, Helen Bonham-Carter, Olive-theft, Gladiators, Alan Rickman, 1994, Clare Danes, Injury, You’ve Been Framed, Fellini, the onset of time and by thunder a whole lot more time-wasting! Love, sex, intelligence Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die coming on like the Seventh Seal -wait is that right?

<ITEM> Like sneaking into a strangers house, trying on their wedding dress and sitting in a bath in it (D-bot loves ya Morello!), the pair sneak in to the Reviewniverse, talking up Supreme Blue Rose, Batman, artistic injuries, Zero, Starlight, Comicbook Confidential, Alan Moore, Reality Bites, Emily Carroll Through The Woods, GI Robot, then Gary Races Through The Rest: Astro City, Moon Knight, Hulk v Iron Man, All New X-Men, Avengers Undercover, Amazing Spiderman, Original Sin, Walking Dead,

<ITEM> Just enough time for a digression about the return of the Aphex Twin before James Stokoe’s ne favourite regular feature SILENCE!…Because My Mouth Is Full (Of Delicious Food!) with Gourmet Lactus and The Beast Must Dine!

Now clear out pests! Enlightenment has passed. Turns out it was just wind.

Click to download SILENCE!#111

Contact us:

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This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.

18 Responses to “SILENCE! #111”

  1. tam Says:

    What do you mean there’s nothing special about the number 111? Don’t you remember all those wonderful celebrations for national corduroy day we had on 11/11/11?

  2. Gary Lactus Says:

    Podcast up for two days, we get one comment and it’s all about Number Chat. I think I know which direction we need to be headed. Look forward to more Number Chat next week. Although Gourmet Lactus and The Beast Must Dine: SILENCE! Because Our Mouths Are Full is generating a real buzz on social media.

  3. Eyemelt Says:

    Top ‘cast gents, a good balance of thought-provoking excellence and useless facts. I am definitely going to check out ‘Through the Woods’, looks lovely.

    If you want to catch Gaz Top in reality, I’ve seen him knocking about Stoke Newington, and Stewart Lee lives round there. I also have heard rumours from multiple sources that Thurston Moore of all people has been sighted there on numerous occasions.

    There was another rumour that Mr Aphex lived in the metal box on Elephant & Castle roundabout, I’m unsure of the validity of that one.

    Tam never stops talking about fucking National Corduroy Day. It’s either that or him being chairman of the Jaffa Cake club.

  4. Thrills Says:

    I am also going to check out ‘Through the Woods’, though I’m put off by the marketing blurb of it being like Gaiman and Burton. I am going to assume it’s a glib, easy way to sell to people using recognisable names, and get that uncritical ‘rock pub outsider clientele’ dollar.

    Helena Bonham Carter sounds absolutely awful, and completely in line with the Gaiman ethos of entitled quirk (started a reread of Sandyman. Death is much more irrtating than she was when I was a youngster. DEEP).

    That “you’ve been framed” standup ‘bit’ sounds entirely fantastic, incidentally, and there was some really solid admin this week.

    Fucking hell, I’m in a terrible mood! But now I’m going to go and buy the new Multiversity, which I gather exists.

  5. Matthew Craig Says:

    I’m still reeling from the fact that you skipped over the most controversial Marvel comic of the last ten years – the one where Spider-Man plays Sucky Slurp-Face with his half-sister.*

    (I haven’t read the whole ish yet, but I’m hoping that’s all that happens. Although they do call her/Silk the “Spider-Bride,” boke)

    I *did* read a perfectly symmetrical 2000AD, in which totalitarians haunted by faces from the past bookend two quasi-historical chop-’em-ups around the hub that is Brass Sun. Dredd artist Paul Marshall was new to me, but had a really lovely Dave Gibbonsy figure style.

    I also read some perfectly acceptable Hulk comics, in which myriad Hulks fight apes in nappies, ordinary human despair and certain other things. Too many Hulks. All the Hulks. Hulk Hulk Hulk. Hulkpot.

    1994, I was at Uni, eating half-tins of Beans and Sausage instead of the three-course meals I was paying for and going home on the weekend instead of staying in Manchester and having it large at that cool all-night Goth club. Biggest mistake I ever made, that.

    I never watched MSCL, is what I mean. All about the Due South, Tick, Spider-Man, TNG, etc..

    All those films and things about being young irritated the piss out of me, and continue to do so. I don’t recognise any of the people or experiences. So alienating. They’re all so fucking cool and pretty and overarticulate and so smarmy it hurts. All the drink and drugs and Foucault and nookie, get stuffed.

    I liked Egg out of This Life, though. And Mad Fat Diary sort of has it right. But the rest? pfft.

    I ate a truly heroic sangwich on the way home from romancing women and fighting crime and definitely not buying Star Trek DVDs from CEX this morning. Crusty baguette, butter and mayo and just a little mustard, ham, cucumber, tomato, red onion, carrots. Was there lettuce? I don’t know, but by Christ above, it was scrumplicious.



  6. Matthew Craig Says:

    (* – if they’re bitten by the same spider, then having acquired it’s (probably his) DNA, that means that they are now genetically related, and for really for real should not be kissing, let alone anything else that might happen. For real.)


  7. The Beast Must Die Says:

    Trust me, Carroll’s stuff owes a closer debt to MR James or Angela Carter than Mr Amanda Palmer. Her stuff comes from a much rawer place than Gaiman’s studied faux dark quirk.

  8. Gary Lactus Says:

    Oh, so we’re talking about comics now are we? Fine. Whatever.

    Great baguette update, Citizen Craig.

  9. Andrew H Says:

    Your mentions of Gaz Top and mid 80s, suit wearing, pre-jaded Alan Moore reminded me of this video clip: , proving definitively that Saturday morning television was at its zenith when we were young.

    My most notable celebrity encounter was probably when I worked at Virgin Megastore in Edinburgh and I did an exchange for Gail Porter. One of the CDs in her dance compilation box set was faulty. This was just as her fame was peaking – around the time she was projected nuddy onto the Houses of Parliament. She was very small and very nice.

    Another time, Mariella Frostrup asked me to recommend a Chopin CD for her. My choice was based entirely on the picture on the cover.

  10. The Beast Must Die Says:

    This should be a new section of the show. We’ll call it ‘Celebricide’

  11. Thrills Says:

    I once told the singer from Toploader I was DEFINITELY going to see his band. I was lying!

    Oh, the japes I have had.

  12. Matthew Craig Says:

    Samantha Janus at me in Forbidden Planet, London. I didn’t even see her until she smiled. This was before she married her co-star and just as she was graduating from mid-90s tabloid fodder and sitcom star to millenial-respected actress. She looked nervous, like she’d been caught out. Or maybe she was just worried that I was going to talk to her. SORRY, MISSUS, I SEEN A SPIDEY-BOOK I NEED.

    I mean, I’m pretty sure it was her. She looked like Judge Anderson on that Brian Bolland Megazine cover from a couple of weeks back. I may have been in too much of a hurry to buy comics to be impressed.

    It may have been Reg Hollis.


    It was Reg Hollis.

  13. Tam Says:

    Take back your vile words about the lovely fragrant Claire Danes or The Beast Might have to Die to defend her honour…
    I once walked right into Nick Frost, though there’s quite a lot of him which means that it’s easier than you might imagine and not quite as impressive as it sounds

  14. Anonymous Says:

    I fucked Paul Daniels.


  15. Gary Lactus Says:

    Sorry, that was me. Forgot to enter my details. Sorry.

  16. The Beast Must Die Says:

    Would’ve been much better as Anonymous

  17. Gary Lactus Says:

    But how would that have worked as a brilliant brag?

  18. Illusionator Says:

    I got pissed at the BBC in Cardiff once and woke up with 7 signed scraps of paper from Brian Cant. My girlfriend said he was too polite to turn me down/tell me to fuck off. She eventually guided me away. One scrap said “To Truffles, from Brian Cant”. I still feel slightly guilty/proud. He’s not dead is he?

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