March 3rd, 2014




…oh and didn’t we all have the most super time when Lolly and Quincent drove down to the coast and we all got monstrously drunk on cucumber gin and then Freddy got his todger rammed into the knot of an oak tree and we all roared with laughter as the poor blighter had to be yanked like the rope in a ruddy tug o’ war and then Barrance and Hoighty turned up with that dreadful spiv Mussie Cribbins and we had to endure bloody hours of stories about the halcyon russet flecked autumn days at St Pepworth’s before Tabitha stood up announced that she was going for a swim and threw herself out the blooming window straight onto Otto and Spinks who’d passed out earlier after gorging themselves on the pork pies and drinking all the spiked ginger beer…and then we all climbed into Wimper’s beaten up old banger and piled back to the old digs for one last round of saucy tennis and then the whole glorious mess of a weekend came tumbling to a close. Eventually it was just Lolly, Tabs and me, Disembodied Squiffybot X-15735 passed out in the bath together snoozing away and dreaming of less hideous times. Times when we’d all gather, freshly bathed, in front of Gramps’ warming fire, the radiograph tuned into the happy droning tones…of SILENCE!

<ITEM> A simply super time is had as we dart through this week’s admin, with only the briefest dalliance with diversion in the form of a consideration of Potsy Webber, Ralph Malph, and Captain Caveman and The Teen Angels.

<ITEM> Glad tidings abound as Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die take a leisurely sojourn into the glades  of the Reviewniverse, taking in the sights, smells and tastes of such fine delicaces as Deadly Class, Black Science, Three, Revenge, jonathan Woss, Vandroid, Dazed & Confused, The Wake, Mega Force, Mike Beck, Wolverine & The X-Men, Fantastic Four, Sergio Aragones’ Funnies, Hawkeye, Mighty Avengers, Superior Spiderman, Lois Lane, MIND MGMT and Walking Dead.

<ITEM> Time for a quick recommendation of both Inside No.9 and Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle, then it’s all over, bar the ROFLing….

….and then Dancy dropped by to let us know that his Aunie’s house was going to be free for the week, and the whole ruddy palaver started again…
US Naomi Campbell Face

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This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.
It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

12 Responses to “SILENCE #95”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    Ah sweet, I had no idea that “THREE” comic existed. I’ve been writing a big thing on 300 for the past few days, and it’s cool that there’s a proper comic book response to what (I assume) are the same problems I had with it. I’ll need to check that out.

    Thank you, SILENCE! for yet again broadening my horizons. I can now brag to all the other kids on the block about my GotG history and Happy Days side cast trivia!

  2. James Stokoe Says:

    (Also that was me up there, I lost my identity for a minute)

  3. Matthew Craig Says:

    That Guardians of the Galaxy recap sounded like it came from the seventies Japanime version. Like G-Lac was some kind of 7-Zark-7-esque Meccanobot, telling the children fibs about the vile traumas inflicted upon Zoltar’s faceless hordes by the feathered freedom fighters of G-Force, and how they never went beyond a Chinese burn and a purple nurple.

    “And Vance Astrovik fell into a space hole where his blood boiled out through his pores and his cells burst under their own internal pressure. But it was all right, as he had a parachute BRRT-oop-KLKLIK.

    I tried searching Wikipedia for “Captain CaaAAAAAVVEeeeMaaAAaAAn,” but it came back with the most surreally sarcastic error message: “An error has occurred while searching: Pool queue is full.” Turns out that Cavey’s thoroughly wholesome caretakers were totally a riff on Charlie’s Angels.

    (Ha: “Taffy.”)

    I catch the odd episode of the modern Scooby-Doo on CBBC from time to time, and it’s brilliant. It’s become an arc-based show, like a cross between Midsomer Murders/Murder She Wrote and Buffy. There’s introspection, intergenerational conflicts, lesbian heartache, the lot. Meanwhile, Ultimate Spider-Man’s riding a motorbike all hopped up on Monster because nuts to Steve Ditko.

    The best character not in the DC Universe at the moment is Willi Berg, from Tom DeHaven’s It’s Superman. Imagine Jimmy Olsen as played by Adam Goldberg: slightly sleazy, chancey/opportunistic, delusional, “dating” Lois Lane off and on, who has to leave New York in a ginger dye hurry, takes a young Clark Kent under his wing, who, in turn and via a sojourn in Hollywood, helps him grow into a better person.

    Superman’s Sketchy Mate Willi Berg: the sensational character find of 1938.


  4. » Mindless Ones » Blog Archive » SILENCE #95 Blog Says:

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  5. Eyemelt Says:

    Happy Days related trivia fact 1: Don Most also voiced- Eric the Cavalier from the Dungeons & Dragons cartoon series!

    Happy Days related trivia fact 2: Henry Winkler is only 5’5″!

  6. The Beast Must Die Says:

    “Happy Days related trivia fact 1: Don Most also voiced- Eric the Cavalier from the Dungeons & Dragons cartoon series!”

    My mind – FUCKING BLOWN

    This, along with the fact that Uncle Phil (RIP) was shredder is now my favourite fact. I SHALL be dropping these truth bombs at social gatherings.

  7. Martin Gray Says:

    Thrillingly, Sabrina’s Aunt Hilda, Carolina Rhea, has been to the Fringe a couple of times over the last few years, she’s a hoot – were you there, Gary Lactus?

  8. Matthew Craig Says:

    “Henry Winkler is only 5’5″”

    Hence Wolverine: The Fonz With A Flick-Knife (x6, in his hands).


  9. Gary Lactus Says:

    Martin, I am aware of Carolina Rhea’s stand up work and heard her on Richard Herring’s Edinburgh podcast amongst others but never seen her live, no.

  10. jameswheeler Says:

    Matt Fraction’s Fantastic Four started with a mysterious and doomy “one year from now” teaser, didn’t it. Yes. The run immediately prior.

    Excellent work, Marvel editors!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Those red costumes are a bit rubbish too.

    I’m not a huge League of Gentlemen fan, but I thought Jeremy Dyson’s novel What Happens Now was a very good (if harrowing) read. Liked Ghost Stories, too. Well done, vacuum man.

  11. The Beast Must Die Says:

    Inside No.9 is (I believe) Dyson-free.

    Quite enjoyed his ‘The Haunted Book’. A flawed but fun set of spooky tales, conceptually tied together, book within a book stuff. Fun.

    That whole crew are a force for good IMHO, and have brought a wonderful Amicus/Pete Walker/Roald Dahl vibe to the past 20 years of British comedy.

  12. jameswheeler Says:

    No Dyson in 9, nein, I was just reminded. And nothing against any of the lads; I’m not exactly a non-fan either.

    The Haunted Book sounds similar to Ghost Stories, I should check it out.

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