November 18th, 2013


I am Disembodied Gunnery Sargebot X – 15735. What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?!

What is this Mickey Mouse sh*t? What in the name of Jesus H. Christ are you animals doing in my head? Why is Gary Lactus out of his bunk after lights-out? Why is Private Pyle holding that weapon? Why aren’t you stomping Gary Lactus’s guts out? Do you feel dizzy? Do you feel faint! Jesus H. Christ! I think you’ve got a hard-on!

The Beast Must Die has dishonored himself and dishonored the platoon. I have tried to help him. But I have failed. I have failed because YOU have not helped me. YOU people, have not given The Beast Must Die the proper motivation! You must listen to the latest SILENCE! ALL THE WAY THROUGH!

<TEN HUT!> Sponsorship, admin, SILENCE! Live at Thought Bubble - sounds like the kind of thing you maggots might enjoy.

<TEN HUT!>Did I mention that it’s Gary Lactus’ Birthday? There’s a special birthday message from Black Bolt of the Inhumans.

<TEN HUT!> Get your faces in the mud and CRAWL your way to the Reviewniverse ladies! In the firing line this week: Shaolin Cowboy, Rocket Girl, Mighty Avengers, All New X-Men, Avengers Arena, Saga, Forever Evil, Bee Vixens From Mars, Hinterkind, Batman: Black & White, Umbral, Captain Marvel, Superior Spiderman, Resident Alien, Fatale and….Space Clusters!!

Whatever you do, don’t fall down, it would break my f*cking heart! Are you quitting on me? ARE YOU QUITTING ON ME?! Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy f*cking walrus-looking piece of sh*t!

But SILENCE! lives forever. And that means YOU live forever.

click to download SILENCE!#84

Contact us:

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This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.
It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

7 Responses to “SILENCE! #84”

  1. Julian Says:

    I’m so glad I’m not the only one who read Shaoline Cowboy. What a MIND FUCK. I experienced the same initial laugh, midway boredom and secod wind of laughs towards the end.

  2. Thrills Says:

    Happy birthday, Gary Lactus. Your pal Dave Bolt seems a bit of a dick, but I suppose that’s often the nature of royalty.

    Avengers Arena is great stuff, for all the reasons discussed in this podcast, really. Just a neato bit of disposable comics with great cliffhangers and characters that I care about despite the fact a lot of them are arseholes.

    So Longshot’s still around, eh? I’m reading the original Nocenti/Adams Longshot comic just now (got a great ‘haul’ of 80s Marvel trades from a 2nd hand bookshop recently), and it’s whimsical and silly and I did not realise early Art Adams was Rob Liefeld’s entire inspiration.

    Good luck at Thought Bubble. I know a bunch of people going and I am jealous of them all, the swines.

  3. Tam Says:

    I read a pile of Avengers Arena recently and really enjoyed them too, although the contestants are taking far too long to die, compared to Battle Royale. It’s the sort of throwaway fun that probably works better as monthly floppies than in a trade collection, much like the Walking Dead come to think of it.

    Nice to finally hear Mr Bolt finally share his thoughts with us. When I heard he was going to be on the show I was concerned his voice might obliterate the Reviewniverse so relieved that didn’t come to pass.
    That said, it’s always bugged me that characters like him (such as Jericho out of the teen titans) never had any thought bubbles as though writers seem to think that being mute is synonymous with not being able to think articulate thoughts…

  4. Cass Says:

    Sorry, you may have said this already, but will a recording of Silence! Live be available here (on Mindless Ones) after the event?

  5. The Beast Must Die Says:

    Yes sir

  6. Gary Lactus Says:

    We hope so!

  7. Gary Lactus Says:

    It’ll be a poor substitute for being there at SILENCE! LIVE!

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