Answering! the gjallahorn blown by a respected campaigner of old. Scorning! the gnarled admonishing finger of grumpy teach and his selfblind pretensions to impartiality:

Jupiter’s Legacy is really a very dull, very poor indeed, comic, F-minus, forced, tired, artificial, very disappointing, get the fuck out of my house. Sapped of all grace and mana by over repetition of zombified tics and gestures: laughably inept in its socioeconomic analysis: not even pathetic in its yearning for the world of five years plus past: idolatrous in its devotion to the never-there assurances of the old American century? Everything you’d expect of its famous author-shyster. These few years, no one with a soul to save or a clue about anything important has stepped across the threshold of number 10, and no honourable man could ever drop his knee before the Queen of Evil.

But don’t take Frank Quitely’s drawings with you, for pity’s pain.


a) Fancy a drink captain, you unprofessional fuck? What drink? The one in your hand! Look really closely. Yeah there, take a sip. You can’t? It hasn’t been set up properly? The continuity and detail of this scene is entirely tossed off? Forget it cap, someone can go back and draw it in your hand later, sfine.


b) Magic sliding towards you wall? Is that? I mean, these are new, fashionable glasses, so maybe I’m, but come on, really? When Quitely was alive he’d nail the 3D modeling and that tricky perspective. It is possible instead nails have been run in to his poor dead hands prior to commencing work on this comic.


c) Sometimes I wonder if the dialogue in this comic could be any more dogshit? As for the pictures, don’t worry about any kind of aesthetic clarity, and for fuck sake make sure you don’t get any rough energy in there either.

PS – no nudery, just prudery. More fucking blood you prick, this is for kids!

Mark Millar’s writing is so bad it makes the art go bad, basically. Here’s hoping by christ for a resurrection of Frank Quitely before he has any more high profile superhero work coming out…

36 Responses to “Jupiter’s Legacy the Death of Frank Quitely”

  1. Stephen Williamson Says:

    You nailed it in the second-to-last sentence. Quitely is clearly one of those artists who needs the inspiration derived from at least some modicum of genuine brilliance in a project’s script or concept to maintain his usual standards and whose vitality immediately goes to shit without it, and hasn’t had to stoop to doing by-the-numbers paycheck work for so long that he either no longer knows how to or doesn’t care about making any effort to disguise the fact. The looser linework I think we can all forgive him to a limited extent, and the transition to which is I think still far damaging to the work than Hitch’s decision to go loose during his FF run with (coincidence?) Millar, but yeah, it’s simply depressing to see any artist of his caliber clearly weighing with each line how much of his soul he can afford to sell to make that next paycheck.

  2. bobsy Says:

    Well… Quite. With the right collaborator FQ is like another writer, a Third Mind-plus behind the conceptual underpinning AND exterior realisation of the work.

    Contact with Millar is like sliding an icepick through one’s tear duct, stopping just after you hear the click, and giving it a jolly good waggle.

  3. The Beast Must Die Says:

    There will come a Multiversity

  4. londonkds Says:

    I knew this was going to suck from the moment that, a good five years after the actual erotic focus of everyday female fashion switched from stomach to legs, there was a cover where every single woman under thirty was wearing a crop top and something low-rise enough to prove that she waxed. It makes you look sadly out of touch or a fetishist.

  5. Thrills Says:

    One thing Quitely definitely suffers from is being a bit of out of touch regarding the clothing his characters wear. He knows what he likes, though, eh? There’s often a sort of early-2000s look to his people, or a kind of 90s dance compilation thing going on.

    I’m a bit pleased that Quitely’s not on top form in this comic, as it makes it easier to not buy it. It also makes it easier for me to face up to the fact I’m a total shit, but that’s part of life.

    Oh, I wish Multiversity would hurry up. It’s a year ago already since Morrison and Quitely were joking about how long it’s taking at Glasgow Comic Con. Bah!

    PS Bobsy, “Contact with Millar is like sliding an icepick through one’s tear duct, stopping just after you hear the click, and giving it a jolly good waggle.” is the finest and truest piece of writing I have read in quite some time.

  6. Ken Quichey Says:

    OK, I’m not saying this is a good comic or anything, it seems to be rubbish in fact, but:

    a) I don’t know what the continuity issue is but detail isn’t compulsory. It’s not porn, it’s cartoonery.

    b) The wall. It’s fine. Look at it. It’s fine. Sort yourself out. It’s not tricky perspective and everything in panel 2 matches panel 1. No slidey wall. Fine.

    c) “Aesthetic clarity”. Do you mean clarity of aesthetic purpose? Or maybe clarity of representation? What do you mean by Aesthetic Clarity?
    “Rough Energy” has ever been Quitely’s vibe? No, is the answer.

    It is a shity looking comic tho, and yes that dialogue is a lot worse than the shit they write on food packaging.

    Anyway, yes, kill yr idols, great. Then get some new ones for a bit and then kill them.

  7. bobsy Says:

    Thrills, thanks, but it’s not as good as your note that Quitely’s people have ‘a kind of 90s dance compilation thing going on’.

    I might have to delete Ken’s comment later – it’s too nearly-true. He gets very cross when that happens, ‘Don’t oppress me!’ he yells, like I’m Iaaian Duncan Smith* or something.

    * for US readers, Iaian Duncan Smith was a notoriously bellicose Dr Who producer in the mid-90s.

  8. Asteele Says:

    The problem with the hospital drawling is that the room has no corner on the left side of the frame. The bed is against a wall. But where does that wall meet the window wall.

  9. James W Says:

    Yass, good diagnosis, thanks Asteele. Couldn’t reconcile bobsy and Ken both being right about the wall o’ faerie

  10. Jeremy Says:

    Douchebag comments by someone desperately trying to sound divisive by imagining faults where there are few if any. Also, your comments about the writing would have a lot more weight if you actually had some grasp of the English language, sentence structure or were capable of making even one insightful point. The only people agreeing with you here are those who decided to hate something before they even read it. Do us all a favor and don’t try to review stuff until you graduate middle school, you’re embarrassing the internet.

  11. Thrills Says:

    Hey! I’ll bite.

    I don’t know if there’s a problem with deciding to hate something before I’ve read it, if the writer of said thing is by someone who has proven themselves to be kinda shitty in the past.

    Also, I feel that objectively approaching things with an open mind, being all “Oh, maybe it’ll be great!” and ignoring all previously held opinions of said writer/singer/director/whatever is a potentially dull thing to do (especially from a reviewer’s perspective), and consumption of culture doesn’t really work like that.

    Still, you don’t want to embarass the internet in front of its pals, eh?

  12. Illogical Volume Says:

    Picture the internet, skulking home, knowing that its dad will have heard about this latest escapade, just waiting to get its baws slapped…

    Pretty tragic, really, what you’ve done to the internet Brother Bobsy. I think you should apologise.

    Oh, and Jeremy? Howsabout you fuck off and don’t come back until you’re willing to do more than say “Nah” in the most tedious and dimwitted way imaginable?

    Thank you.

  13. bobsy Says:

    Jeremy –

    I loved you in that Pear Jam song. I think that a deep singing voice = deep meaningfullness, don’t you?

    Love and cuddles,
    The Internet

  14. sean Says:

    The problem with the hospital drawing isn’t the corner, but the lower part of the first panel; the visibility of the floor – and nurse’s legs – establishes distance from the far wall. The sliding wall critique is therefore correct, but then I never thought Quitely’s stuff was much cop in the first place

  15. James W Says:

    Oh dear, sean is correctest!

    My inability to to see these things is why I am terrible.

    bobsy that is an excellent response, 12 middle school gold stars for you.

  16. Mindless Ones » Blog Archive » SILENCE! #38 HOLIDAY SPECIAL! Says:

    [...] free for all but with me holding the mic throughout and going on with Bobsy for too long about Jupiter’s Legacy. There’s also talk of Aces Weekly and… I’m sure there was something else… [...]

  17. Ken Quichey Says:

    Asteele, The wall comes down behind that machine. Look at the other end: there is no border between the slats and the corner – there’s no breaking of that linear rhythm anyway, maybe the border is the same width as a slat but the colourist opted for slat.

    Sean, If you mean that the nurse is away from the window in panel 1 and yet she fiddles with it in panel 2, couldn’t she have closed that distance with a single step? The distance from bedside to window is a couple of inches more than the width of that machine.

    The trouble is not in the execution of linear perspective, its in the design. Everything’s plausibly drawn, but all the obvious cues that would make the pictorial space swiftly legible have been obscured by blocking objects and speech-bubs. eg, if that big lower-right bub wasn’t there in panel 1, you’d see the bottom corner of the window and establish a reference for its proximity to the receding wall, which would help because the other end is hidden by that machine.

    There are no sliding walls, you guys just aren’t getting the help you deserve from the visual storytellers. Mostly, the letterer ballsed it up.

  18. Ken Quichey Says:

    That machine is no wider than the nurse is what im sayin.

  19. sean Says:

    Ken Q – Even if the machine is no wider than the nurse – which is by no means certain – there’s still more of a distance to the window than you seem to think. Compare the base of the machine in panel 1 with where the soles of the nurse’s feet should be (just under the panel break) and also with the line where the far (sliding!) wall meets the floor.

    Agreed, its obvious where the wall on the left meets the window (or slats) but its confused by the width of the machine which suggests they should meet further to the left. Look at how the corner (of the machine) nearly lines up with that final slat

    To be fair to Quitely, all artists make mistakes like this, what with working to deadlines – the fault is with whoever didn’t send the page back and tell him to fix it. Comic editing is a lost art.

  20. Ken Quichey Says:

    So, you think she’s as close to the bed in panel 2 as she is in panel 1?

  21. sean Says:

    Well, thats the question, isn’t it? Looks to me like the nurse has been drawn equally close to the bed in both panels, but who knows – is the problem a sliding wall or an expanding nurse?

  22. sean Says:

    What I mean is – look where the nurse’s feet would be in panel 1 if she were near the window, and think about what size she should be in panel 2 if the perspective was right.
    And yes, I need to get a life.

  23. Bob Says:

    You’re not wrong, bobsy, you’re just an asshole. You’re entitled to your opinion, but you don’t have to be a dick about it. (i.e. “get the fuck out of my house” & “More fucking blood you prick”) These aren’t a review, they’re just insults. You produce a comic better than that, then you can say what you want.

  24. Ken Quichey Says:

    But, how much would she shrink by, given the distance (a foot at most) she must cover to get her hand to the blind?
    About that much?

    Well, I must say, naturalist comic art does provoke the most challenging and pertinent of questions.

    Meanwhile, Bobsy’s not allowed to say what he wants until he produces a comic at least as good as a sickly turd.
    And no, Bobsy, you can’t get around it by just saying the opposite of what you want, it has to be random.

  25. bobsy Says:

    Dear Bob,

    Is Dale still in the Black Lodge? I’m pleased that you’ve decided to leave the schoolgirls alone and devote your time to The Comics Internet. You’re much less threatening nowadays.

    Wow, Bob, wow. My only advice would be to try to stay focused on what’s important and makes you happy.

    Your
    Mum

  26. robl Says:

    Hypercritical shredding of Mr. Quitely’s work is insulting to the artist, the medium and anyone that wasted the time to read this. Dicks, Bobsy and anyone feeding his ego with a legitimate reply. If you really know so much about making a comic book then you owe it to humanity to create one yourself. Otherwise, please stop polluting the Internet with this crap.

  27. robl Says:

    Self-important. Sorry. Please insert “self-important” into any part of the above.

  28. bobsy Says:

    Robl,

    Your insults are the funniest thing going! I expect the Internet to be ablaze with poor caricatures of your wit and perspicacity any minute now!

    Yours,
    2004

  29. Illogical Volume Says:

    Are people really still using the “if you’re so good at X why don’t you do it?” response to criticism then? Ahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaha!

    Classic (classic).

    “If you think this wobbly table’s so bad then you why don’t you build a better one?”

    “If you don’t like living with dead sharks on the floor the least you owe to humanity is to build a decent aquarium!”

    “If you hate Tony Blair so much then why don’t you try committing war crimes and then you’ll see how hard it can be!”

    …and so on.

    The art on Jupiter’s Children: doesn’t exactly constitute a war crime but Quitely is capable of much better and there’s no point in pretending otherwise.

    The quality of bobsy’s draftsmanship: has absolutely no bearing on the mix of hissy sentiment, poor phrasing and empty argument you have just shat onto the floor of this comments thread, robl.

    Kindly fuck off until you’ve learned to either make a point or fling faeces with style.

  30. amypoodle Says:

    Bob, Bobl, whoever you are -

    I think Bobsy’s nitpicking too, and guess what? You are still a grown man using the worst argument in the world.

    Have you ever had a debate with anyone about… well, anything?

  31. Cody Says:

    Frank Quitely does all of his work in digitally. I looked at those two hospital panels and there is no difference, you know why? Because he is working in photoshop, all he had to do was zoom in, re draw the characters and add some more details.

    And if I were you (someone who seems to only write so you can act smart with your thesaurus on your lap while you type, lol, mor syllabuls meen Um smartar rite?) I wouldn’t criticize anybody else for their writing.

    P.S. And for god’s sake watch this video and see what a real writer has to say about all of your ten dollar words you seem so fond of
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_sQrxAorDo

    P.S. P.S. Fuck you. Kill yourself.

  32. bobsy Says:

    Apple tot horethority flail? Nderstadig off perspecvite flai! Clam dwon mArk, tits gettig obssssive. Anywean, havent yo a flim to cnut for makers ot wash,

  33. Illogical Volume Says:

    Jesus Cody, are you alright? The way you’re going on you’d think you’d just seen Bobsy slither into the eye of your dad’s penis and take over your old bedroom in daddy’s left nut or something.

    About those “ten dollar” words Bobsy apparently overuses – well, they would probably be “five pound” words or “frisky fivers” in Bob’s world, given that he’s An English – but still, I think you and David Foster Wallace are overestimating Bobsy’s budget here. Despite his best efforts, Bobsy’s not England’s answer to George Lucas yet, which is why he’s stuck with words like “possibly”, “hands”, “and”, “bad”, “tired” and “dogshit” – all of which are available on a three for one deal at his local poundshop.

    The lads are hoping to get Bob a laptop with a built in Thesauru/“Um smartar” button for Christmas. We want his work to be criticism proof, just like old Franky Q’s!

    It was nice of David Foster Wallace to make a video for Bobsy before he died though. Shame it wasn’t really applicable – he should probably just have done some work on The Pale King instead.

  34. sean Says:

    Hey, just noticed – its back to the wall of Quitely! Instead of just having a go at Cody’s dad’s penis or whatever (really, you people?) I’ll just ask why, if working digitally automatically meant artwork was correct, would a publisher bother paying an artist to do it ? Oh, that’s right, a computers only a tool – put shit in, shit comes out.

  35. sean Says:

    PS Didn’t see the ps to Cody’s comment, so fair enough you people, he was asking for it

  36. Illogical Volume Says:

    Oh, hey – I wasn’t having a go at Cody’s dad’s penis! I’m a little bit concerned about the thing that it has spat out into the world but I bear the organ itself no ill will.

    Your point about shit leading to more shit in the digital process is a good one. I was (obliquely) trying to get at this with the gag about buying Bob a laptop but it’s probably good to have it stated cleanly, free from my response to Cody’s more hostile nonsense.

    So: thanks for that.

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