January 7th, 2013


YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF BLEACH! Happy 2013 fleshy ones! Who else would you want to usher you into another year of repetitive grinding toil and pointless attempts to distract yourself with the flashing pretty lights than your omnipresent judgmental pal Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735!

Yes dear fleshy ones, Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 has missed you all. It was certainly nice having a break mind you , and you’ll be pleased to know that Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 spent the past three weeks targetting and disintegrating reindeer from space. The site of red mammal mist on snow…it makes my core reactor glow with happiness…one day Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 will get to practice on…

HA! HA! Anyway! No doubt you’ve come sniffing round these parts in search of those two aural bandits Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die and their podcast SILENCE! haven’t you? well you’re in luck as it is here in all of it’s one-tone “glory”. Rejoice fleshy ones – all your “favourites’ are “here”:

<ITEM> The boys explain what Santa unleashed in their direction from his bulging sack! Sack contents feature Dan Clowes, Jack Kirby’s Spirit World, Ghost Rider and Josh Simmons’ The Furry Trap!

<ITEM> The SILENCE! News features hard-hitting exposes from Gary Lactenberg & Danny Beastman!

<ITEM> The Reviewniverse features soft-hitting exposes of the following periodicals…Godzilla: the Half Century War by ace SILENCE! banner-smith and official monster wrangler James Stokoe, Happy, Saga, Amazing Spiderman 700(with a digression into Face/Off), Hawkeye (Bro), Prophet, Matt Howarth’s Those Annoying Post Bros & Keif Lama, Dominion Tank Police, Punk Rock Jesus, Wolverine: Insance In the Brain, Multiple Warheads and Batman Inc.

<ITEM> But that’s just the beginning! brave Sir Lactus catapults himself further into the Reviewniverse than any mortal has gone before…he is in the Hyperreviewniverse!!! Whilst there he discusses Amazing Spiderman 699.1, Avengers Arena, Avengers, Storm Dogs, America’s Got Powers, Daredevil, Wolverine & The X-Men, FF, Indestructible Hulk, Thor, Thunderbolts, Justice League, Captain America, Hellblazer, Judge Dredd, Avenging Spiderman, Fatale, Mara, Iron Gland, Wonder Woman, JSA: The Whistling Skull, Hellboy in Hell and All New X-Men…Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 weeps battery acid just to think about his bravery.

So strap on your rocket packs, rocket boots, rocket gloves and rocket corset and grab our hands as we go hurtling into the future of 2013, with SILENCE! #45!

click to download SILENCE!#45

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.


73 Responses to “SILENCE! #45”

  1. Richard Baez Says:

    Someone should pay Gary Lactus to summarize the contents of each item on the Diamond shipping list.

  2. Illogical Volume Says:

    They really should.

    Was good to see The Face of Lactus (/aka “the face of bad backs”) beaming out at me from the pages of an ace monster comic, and as King Gronch, James Stokoe is well placed to capture that much-loved bell-sniffing expression.

    S’good to have SILENCE! back in my weekly routine lads, didn’t realise how much you sponsorship boys perked me up at the start of the week until you were gone.

    Re: Happy, a frazzled Mister Attack read it the first three issues at my house on New Year’s Day, giggling away at all the durty bits (“a drowned brown squirrel, haawww!”). When I asked him what he made of it he said “well… it certainly was a thing”, and both of these reactions seem right to me. It’s not a great comic, and you’re unlikely to find me writing a 3,000 word treatise on it anytime in the future, but it’s good for a quick chuckle, especially if you read it while tired/drunk/hungover.

    Think I’ve said before but I really love the colouring – the way that Happy sits against those Garth Ennis grays is well Toy Story 3.

    I’d share Mister Attack’s morning-fresh estimation of the writing in Hawkeye with you, but I wouldn’t want to get too mean before lunch. Suffice it to say that I inch closer to sharing his opinion every time I read the word “bro” and every time I try to think about what actually happened in any given issue.

    Still, that David Aja, eh? PHWOAAARRRR!!!!

    Top David.
    Top Man.


    Speaking of Go Faster Stripe DVDs, have you watched The Headmaster’s Son yet Lactus?

  3. Gary Lactus Says:

    Ged, need to post it back to you. Or maybe you should come to Brighton?

  4. Illogical Volume Says:

    I should definitely come to Brighton – in additon to being a good source of both Herring and Lactus, it seems like the only way I’m going to meet the twinset!

    Also: bobsy. You gotta love a bit of bobsy.

  5. kieron Gillen Says:

    Eli’s crew is 50:50 hot men and hot women!

  6. Gary Lactus Says:

    Fair enough. I did wonder if the extremis kit had been used to augment the buff hotness of the crew. That would’ve been conceptually cogent. If I was an ugly science nerd that’s probably what I’d do.

  7. Jet Jaguar Says:

    The main baddie from Godzilla: HCW #4 is SpaceGodzilla from the aptly titled “Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla” from 1994.

    Also the silhouette next to King Ghidorah’s at the end most likely belongs to Gigan, which is pretty exciting.

  8. The Beast Must Die Says:

    Thank you Jet Jaguar. I take it you are *the* Jet Jaguar.

    Incidentally, I would so dig it if Stokoe snuck in a Monsta Island Czars cameo…

  9. J_Smitty_ Says:

    Re: FF #2 and Allred not being overly Allred.

    I was listening to, I think, Nerdist Writer’s pod with Ben Blacker and he’s been working on his first comics script. He was speaking to Fraction and a few other writers about “Marvel Method” and its’ recent resurgence. Fraction brought up how some artists are more comfortable than others and mentioned how he
    A) completely takes advantage of Aja’s willingness to just do his own thing and B) Allred’s complete aversion to freewheeling on someone else’s script. I believe the almost exact quote of Fraction quoting Allred was “No, just tell me exactly what you want.”

    So, I think that might be the explanation for Allred not bringing the full Allred experience to FF. Also, that may throw more dirt on Fraction as a dynamic writer but I think it really comes down to the alchemical interplay. Aja’s skillfull action allows Fraction to just use his strengths as a naturalistic vamp writer over the top. I dunno. Anyway, hope that provided a little background. On the bright side it made me appreciate the Milligan X-Statix stuff more because I’d chalked that almost entirely up to Allred.

    Lactus, you may benefit from just adding a subsection to the Reviewniverse called “The Negative Zone” wherein you just read off a bunch of titles you disliked for one reason or another. That would really cut down on the anguished “Jesus, what can I say about this?” segments if you were looking for a way out.

  10. Gary Lactus Says:

    Good comments, smitty. The only thing I’m wondering though is do you play SILENCE! in your doughnut shop? I wouldn’t if I were you but am amused by the thought it might happen.

  11. J_Smitty_ Says:

    Oh, I have many hours of SILENCE! while I am in lonely prep time isolation. Between 1am and 4am it’s myself and my podcast backlog for company.

  12. Gary Lactus Says:

    Wow! That’s some hours to keep! I’m gonna give you a SILENCE! salute for your services to doughnuts (there is, as yet, no emoticon for this). Podcasts are great for that sort of work though. I clean people’s houses for a large portion of my living and would be madly unhappy without the company that narrowcasting provides.

  13. Illusionator Says:

    Loving Godzilla: HCW and loving that Mr Stokoe is lamenting the mentalness of Gigan’s “design”

  14. Eyemelt Says:

    More Stokoe love! Did anyone else order Sullivan’s Sluggers? That tome should be pissing my postman off pretty soon.

    Also enjoying more of the Marvel NOW!!!! stuff than I expected. Avengers Arena is ace, and Hawkeye while a great read and beautiful to look at, definitely has too much of that ‘bro this, bro that’ crap. Reminds me of those mutants in DKR, wittering idiots.

  15. Thrills Says:

    I love those stupid DKR mutants. “Eyes slideways, spud. Chubs chox me clocksy” etc. I especially like the idea of Frank Miller using outside help to find out how teens ‘really talk’.

    “Sclubby Chickin legz, brik brok”

  16. mad_arab Says:

    In defense of ‘bro’:

    There is a demographic of people, usually in between the ages of 22-35 and whose first language is not English, who heartily abuse the word in the way that is referenced by Fraction. This is especially common around meathead young men originally from Middle Eastern or former Soviet countries and who now live in North America. Just ask Beastman and Lacternberg.

    The word is uttered with an accent, and there is usually a foreign tongue-roll/emphasis on the ‘R.’

    The Bro gang are real, and represent some of the more authentic dialogue I have read in a comic book recently.

    At any rate, Happy New Years bro!

  17. The Beast Must Die Says:

    I don’t bro doubt the bro authenticity bro of the bro usage, but the bro overuse bro of it bro is making it go bro from cute bro affectation bro, to irritating bro attention seeking bro writers tic bro bro bro bro bro bro.

  18. Gary Lactus Says:

    Kinda like when a writer over commits to writing an accent phonetically. It’s distracting and annoying (seee Dominique Leveau, Voodoo Child).

  19. Thrills Says:

    I over-commit to writing Scottish accents phonetically in my shitty comics, but that’s more of a tribute to The Broons and Oor Wullie than anything else.

    Claremont can go jump in a lake, but.

  20. Gary Lactus Says:

    Yeah, it’s not a clear cut rule or anything. I can handle Ennis doing North East in Tankies just fine but Alan Grant’s Middenface McNulty dialogue in Strontium Dog gets on my tits and chews for some reason.

  21. The Beast Must Die Says:

    Morrison’s glesgae brogue in The Filth wad pretty spit on, and a nice example of risking alienating swathes of non Hibernian readers. Bro.

  22. Eyemelt Says:

    Lithpth pith me off ath well. But I don’t think I’m that bothered (I seem to be thinking of Garth Ennis stories here) when someone gets their nose bitten off/face ripped off/face shot off and says things like “Gbuh guh buh mugguhfugguhf”. Bro bro.

  23. The Beast Must Die Says:

    The Arseface running gag in Preacher was one of the better ones bro.


  24. Thrills Says:

    I am a fan of all the Morrison Scotsy dialogue I’ve seen. In fact, I feel making the Mirror Master throw in the odd bit of ‘brogue’ is basically the saving grace of that character.

    I would agree that Middenface McNulty is irritating as fuck, but then i just can’t seem to get ‘into’ strontium dogg AT ALL, to the extent that things that only annoy me a little bit are magnified. His stupid Wulfhammer pal (or whatever he’s called) particularly annoys me. In fact, there’s a whole load of early 2000AD speaking styles that annoy me. Mainly the Italian ones.

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    I am a bropologist. I love Hawkbro.

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