SILENCE! #13

May 1st, 2012

What is it Bubba? Whaddya want?

“BUBBA WANT CANDY!!!!!!!”
In this special episode of the universe’s favouritest podgasm, SILENCE! teen heart-throbs Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die get all up in your face and talk about the recently released kinograph Marvel Avengers Assemble in 3D! And boy do they talk about it!!

Firstly though, The Beast debuts his homework, ‘The Review Song’. And a jolly good job he does of it too. Don’t listen to Gary Lactus. He’s a giant idiot.

Then, they discuss the really important issues of the day: Captain America, Iron Man, Black Widow, Thor, Hawkeye and Hulk. And then the Hulk again.

Rather churlishly they refuse to talk about comics, so amped up are they by this modern innovation of moving pictures! The cads! Suffice to say Lactus spent the week diseasing his already syphilis-ravaged mind with AVX-related stuff and more Owls, while the Beast ignored the new releases instead opting for Kurtzman & Co’s Frontline Combat. Both of these topics will be returned to at a later date.

So sit back…no further back than that…till you’re pretty much lying down. That’s it, like that. Okay so sit back and soak up the sound of two semi-retarded man-children discuss the most important cultural item of the last 2,000 years…

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16 Responses to “SILENCE! #13”

  1. Tam Says:

    Hmmm, listening to you talk about it makes me wonder if I liked it more than I thought I did after all!

    It really caught the spirit of the source comics better than any other film except Sin City. In general I find it much harder to accept some of the comic tropes on the screen than I do in comics, like for example the way heroes have to have a bit of a ruck before they start working together; I love that stuff on the page but find it a bit dumb and unbelievable on the screen. But that’s probably my problem and to be fair the rest of the audience loved that stuff. And it would’ve been exciting to see a bit more of how the rest of the US / rest of the world responded to what was happening but again that’s not something that happened much in the comics so fair enough.

    Mark Ruffalo was really great though. As soon he appeared, you knew he was going to be great, like when Chris Ecclestone first appeared as Doctor Who. It’s quite an achievement to play that role without being completely overshadowed by all that excellent Hulk Smashing lots of Shit Up stuff.

  2. Gary Lactus Says:

    Didn’t mind the in fighting. It served the plot. Prodding them in that direction was part of Loki’s plan, his magic stick making them all act like they were trying to give up cigarettes.

  3. Ad Mindless Says:

    The in-fighting was about as plausible as things ever get in blockbusters. It didn’t feel especially contrived.

  4. The Beast Must Die Says:

    I personally loved seeing them fight.

    I LOVE FIGHT.

  5. Rick V Says:

    So what do you guys think of the American release of it having an additional scene after the after the credits scene.

  6. Ad Mindless Says:

    There’s an additional scene after the first stage of the credits in the British cut. The Americanese get something extra?

    Totes guessed the big bad for fillum 2 in the first five minutes.

  7. Rick V Says:

    Apparently from reports it is just the whole team sitting around eating sandwiches after the mess, something I know one of the podcasters would probably have enjoyed being in there.

  8. Gary Lactus Says:

    Yep, I’d love that. I also want them to do things like go to Ikea and put flat packed shelves together. I am deliberately avoiding the punchline here.

  9. Ad Mindless Says:

    I’d like to see it again too, by the by.

  10. Illogical Volume Says:

    At the risk of coming off as the guy who feels the need to shite in the swimming pool (because hey – fuck chlorine, right?), here’s my take on Avengers Assemble dot dot dot

    The Good:

    *The Hulk was smashing, Scar-Jo performed more than she pouted, and it felt like a proper team comic whether the team were bickering with each other or kicking the shit out of the bad guys.

    **Joss Whedon’s Whedon-jokes sweetened the bitter pill of all that blather about “old fashioned heroism”.

    ***Loki finally found the plot to match his perfectly hammed performance here, which was nice since the Thor movie cast him as the Jessie J of Asgard, trying on a number of different positions without really committing to any of them. Indeed, Loki’s arc was probably the most satisfying one in the movie, with his initial blather about how humans desire to be subjugated eventually revealing itself to have been a bit of guilty projection all along.

    The Guff:

    *Hawkeye: had a jaw!

    **Sam Jackson: is boring!

    The Grugly:

    *The space orks were proper shite.

    I dunno, I guess it just felt more like a collection of “sampled” character moments and BIG EVENTS than a proper picture to me, especially when compared to Whedon’s previous experiments in old school Marvel storytelling (Buffy & Angel, chiefly, though you could argue that the amount of time those shows have to work up a soapy lather makes the comparison unfair) and quippy blockbuster entertainment (Serenity). But maybe I’m just a cunt?

    Anyway, top podding as always boyce, your enthusiasm was sweet and infectious.

  11. Thrills Says:

    I’ve never seen Thor, but every single scene he was in made me incredibly happy. Should probably see his actual film?

    And Captain America did indeed seem like the nicest chap in the world. First time I’ve ever liked him. Aw shucks, cap!

    I completely forgot about the “It seems to operate on some kind of electricity” line. Amazing.

    Hulk’s violence was so weighty! Proper punches. T.Hawk super move on Loki. Dead scary when he first appears.

    Iron Man, though? Fucking prick in a Top Shop Sabbath shirt, needs to fuck off and stop with his hideous Argos/dixons/Whatever advert slidy Minority Report virtual screens shite.

  12. Thrills Says:

    Incidentally, I think after Hulk flung Loki aboot, he said “puny god”, but the ‘god’ word was kind of crunchy and mangled and sounded like nothing?

  13. Ad Mindless Says:

    He said that

  14. Gary Lactus Says:

    Thrills, your reading of Stark is great. I often wonder how useful those slidy virtu-o holo screens would actually be. I reckon the’d be pretty annoying. he way you can see through them, it would be kinda like trying to see through a shop window with reflexions in the way. Two images at once. One of them is Paltrow.

  15. Thrills Says:

    They’d be rotten for reading PDFs on. Or anything at all.

  16. Gary Lactus Says:

    God, imagine using photoshop on it!

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