“This ride is incredible, Warren. You’re really giving me one?” Says Cyclops, through a smile that punches a hole in the fourth wall. I laugh, imagine it’s not a question, and flick back a few pages.

“All of the X-Men seem much more sex-saturated” Says Emma, straddling Scott.

I flick back further. There’s that smile again, this time framed by a bare chest, muscle and languid confidence. I reacquaint myself with the page. No-one’s touching but I think this qualifies as a sex scene. It strikes me that there’s something considerably more intimate about a husband and wife posing for one another than the straight forward implied fuck that takes place in a few panels time.

“…wall to wall fornication…” Says Emma sprawling out on the bed.

“This ride is incredible, Warren. You’re really giving me one” I leave the question mark out this time, focus on that enormous smile, and jump to the next panel.

“You, Emma, Hank…” replies Warren Worthington the Third, better known as Angel. He’s smiling too. Not Logan, then? I enquire with a chuckle, and mentally erase the rest of the sentence.

My attention leaves the book for a moment as I scan through a CD. The Lee Douglas remix of Freedom Machine spins out of my speakers. “Come to me!” begs the sample over and over again. Synchronicitous rudeness.

Back to the comic. Perhaps that sentence didn’t need erasing afterall, as I discover two beautiful, windswept, men bonding over and in the cockpit of a supercar. Somewhere between Fraction, Brubaker and Land these paragons of manliness have been gifted long tousled hair. Like Tom Cruise.

“Why, Scott Summers, I can’t believe what you’re suggesting” exclaims Angel a second before blasting out of the vehicle and into the hot San Fransisco air. Mutant self expression merges with sexual expression merges with potentiality (we’re back in territory first charted in Grant Morrison’s NXM).

I race back a few pages. Scott and Emma talk about having babies. I flick forward. Look at all that light. Look at those teeth blaze in the California sun. Look at Angel wrap his wings around the sky. “…The coolest thing they ever saw… …was the X-Men driving to work” All Tomorrow’s Parties. Glee tickles its way up my chest.

Refocus: I land on Scott’s latest grin, he turns his head to catch my eye. Looks right at me. “This is so great” he enthuses.

I grin back. Thanks, Scott I’m just along for the ride.

It’s incredible.

You’re really giving me one.

Wink wink

7 Responses to “The way it seemed to me at the time: Uncanny X-Men 501”

  1. Bots'wana Beast Says:

    I never saw it quite so crystalline, the whole SeX-Men bit, as at this moment.

    Yes.

    Framed by the bad sex, not even sex at all really, with Empath and the ‘Red Queen’… Greg Land converted, effortlessly, into a strength, forget the puritans disgust… what’s your Secret Origin? “My ma and da fucked.”

    Impressive.

  2. Zom Says:

    The whole “bad sex” thing bothered me a bit, actually, in that I don’t consider BDSM play to be “bad sex”. Has Fracbaker never seen Secretary? I know, I know, he was riffing on the whole, limits/control vs freedom and potential thing, and that bondage gear has a grand x-tradition of representing wrongness, but I found it irritating nonetheless.

  3. Bots'wana Beast Says:

    I found it pretty HOTT, but the young man does seem troubled, what with organising hatecrimes against his own minority &c.

    It’s just Fraction on the Land-drawn arcs (3 issues apiece) and Bru on Dodson-drawn – I think Emma Frost, who’s Manuel de la Rocha’s one-time Hellion mentor, is gonna be key character in this arc… you’re right, I suppose, in that perviness does kinda counterpoint, um, cot-building but I think there’s a median that is really central to the X-Men, a median called the White Queen maybe.

  4. Papers Says:

    I would probably read more X-comics if they were presented — or I had read them — in this manner. For the moment though, I’ll stick with my old Peter Milligan X-Statix for something not dissimilar…

  5. Adam Aaron Says:

    I think I understood that…but it was a little hard to follow.

  6. The Beast Must Die! Says:

    Paul Morley-esque in tone.

    (Been reading his ‘Words and Music’ book recentle, so he’s on my mind)

  7. Zom Says:

    Adam, yeah, it was a bit of an experiment, really. I’d just been reading some New Games Journalism and thought I’d try out some of that mob’s techniques.

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