Drawers 3-D
July 30th, 2008
Sorry, the pictures in this post are not in 3-D, it was just the first pun title that came to mind. As far as I’m aware it’s not even possible to do blog posts that extend beyond just the first two Ds. Odd really, you’d have thought they’d have worked it out by now – what else are all those boffins at NASA, Microsoft and McDonalds doing on their smoke breaks if not working out how to universalise multidimensional online entertainment? Blue and red contact lenses stapled to newborn babies’ eyes maybe? Get to it Gates, or if you’re not clever enough for the challenge, why not make way for…
Oh yeah. Reed Richards’ fluid, elastic body is a pliable as his mind, but he is all man. The Invisible Woman may secretly yearn for an aristocratic deep-sea life as Prince Namor’s consort, far from the stresses of downtown high rise living, where the kids are throwing each other through walls and the insurance company won’t take your calls because the N-zone bomb in hubby’s rumpus room could drop at any minute. It’s enough to drive you mad, but she stays, and these pants remind you why. Look at that fist. No woman could leave a man with a body like that, who can so well adorn pants like this, the absolute favourites from my collection.
Just look at those bloody pants. Keks don’t get much better than that, do they? If you can find me on Facebook you’ll see a picture of me and my backfat wearing those pants on a beach in Cornwall. It’s far from pretty, but rather amusing, unless you’re me. I’ve forgotten my Facebook password on purpose.
These other fantastipants are easily my personal favourites. They were the second pair I was given, and are the only pants in my wonderful collection that feature the image of a woman, thereby fulfilling my modern metrosexualist male need to affirm my genitalia’s feminine side.
The shot of Sue Storm in her mid sixties Mary Quant period is just beautiful, like a see-thru Dusty Springfield (just like Dusty might have sometimes wished). I am proud to wear that image draped about my evilness.
Also of note is the shot of Sue’s brother Johnny yelling ‘FLAME ON!’, not far from where my anus is on the days when I’m wearing these magnificent Kirby pop art masterpieces. The appropriate accompanying joke there has the phrase ‘Chicken Tikka Jalfrezi’ in the first half, and I’m sure that’s all you need to know. Better that than a gag about my ‘Thing’ though, surely?
Anyway, let’s leave the ass-laughs for another day, and all reconvene here tomorrow for a look at a green angry beast who can often be found in the vicinity of my undies.
July 30th, 2008 at 10:58 pm
I think you should really be modelling these pants. Not full body or anything, just a bit of context. A touch of the hairway to heaven growing over the muffin top and something to fill out the worn gusset on the Mr. Fantastics - you can tell they’re a favourite just from that.
July 31st, 2008 at 2:03 am
i would buy every single pair.
seriously, make me some! lol
July 31st, 2008 at 2:27 am
I own those second pairs and have been looking for the cap pair for ages, but H&M in the states refuses to sell them to me. Fuck them for not having an online store.
Kirby pants are ladykillers.
July 31st, 2008 at 2:21 pm
I’ve got an awesome pair of Marvel boxers, replete with dang-near EVERY character on them.
There’s no Man-Thing pictured on them (unless you count the one lurking on the INSIDE of the shorts.)
haw haw.
I have these in my collection due to the appearance of a Marshal Rogers -drawn Doctor Strange.
(OK…I have two pairs, actually, but one was to wear - darn comfy too.)
I’ll snap a pic and upload it to some host service and send you the link.
NO. I will NOT be modeling them.
;-)
~P~
PTOR
July 31st, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Doit
July 31st, 2008 at 2:59 pm
I’ve got those FF pants too — best Birthday present ever! Well, maybe not, but they’re in the running.
Also: both the obvious ‘thing’ and ‘flame on’ jokes are almost impossible to avoid when wearing said undergarments, particularly when you’re wearing them on top of your jeans at a party (bloody red wine!).
The only think that’s stopping me soiling the Internet with images of myself modeling these pants is the sad face my girlfriend will make when she realises that I’ve finally embraced my status as a bad joke…
Great series of posts, by the way — a couple more and you might just crack the comics Internet in half.
“Captain America’s All American Underpants or Tony Stark: Wearer of Iron Shorts… Which side are you on?!”
July 31st, 2008 at 5:49 pm
Hey guys.
OK.
I snapped the pics and uploaded one to TinyPic.
I’ll give you the link(s) for you to pick what format you require in my next post.
For THIS one, I just wanted to point out a few things:
- It turns out, when I unpacked the item that there were TWO unworn pair in the bag.
a size Small and a size Medium.
I took pics of the small because the mediums would be too large to photograph closely.
- Sadly, the small size lost a few of the characters (they got cropped out due to size restrictions. The two most obvious ones are White-outfit Elektra & IceMan who seem to be siamese-twins joined at the shoulders - with NO heads - on this pair)
- Notice DR DOOM sticking his big index finger up the arse, and RED SKULL firmly planted near the ball-region/taint.
Nice.
This is the shot from the back-side of the shorts.
The front is exactly the same, but this view is less broken up by the wang-window.
Anyway, links are to follow.
~P~
PTOR
July 31st, 2008 at 5:49 pm
Image links!
html for websites:
direct link for layouts:
http://i36.tinypic.com/245bvkp.jpg
or straight email link:
http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=245bvkp&s=4
Enjoy!
~P~
PTOR
July 31st, 2008 at 6:44 pm
They are fucking amazing.
From whence did they come?
July 31st, 2008 at 7:05 pm
I bought them around 1995 or so.
The tag (yup… they still have the hang tag AND price tag on them… $2.99 American), states that they are copyright 1994.
The story is an odd one (unless you know me):
All of my friends know what kind of insane DOCTOR STRANGE fan that I am, and they are all on high-alert to inform me if they see ANYTHING with the good Doctor on them.
One day while I was at work (back in those days, it was at an Antiquarian BookShoppe / Comic shoppe), and one of my work-buds calls me up to tell me that he sees Doc on a pair of UNDERWEAR at a local store, and that if I want them (if I didn’t ALREADY own a pair - he couldn’t know for sure), that I should hustle on down quickly, since there were only a few remaining.
So, I took my lunch-break and drove like a madman to the store (I don’t recall where. K-Mart?).
There were three pairs remaining, so I bought them all.
Wore one pair and saved the others.
The plan was, wear one pair until they wear out.
Then start using the other one in my size, and keep the small forever in a case in my massive Doc-collection.
Insane?
Yes.
Good blog fodder?
Also Yes.
I’m glad you like them.
;-)
~P~
PTOR
July 31st, 2008 at 7:12 pm
Oh, I should mention that the LOOK that the register lady gave me was PRICELESS!
She looked at me warily, like I was using these things to lure young boys to my van or something.
I wasn’t sure if I should tell her that they were for ME or not (with the explanation that I’m a collector of a weird comic character and that, yes, even boys underwear are fair game…), so I just paid for them and got the hell out of there before she could trigger the silent alarm.
Ahh… good times.
lol
;-)
~P~
PTOR
July 31st, 2008 at 11:15 pm
I’ve got those Fantastic Four (or “Fantastic 11.5″ in my case) undies. When I saw that beehive on Sue, I had to make them mine.