Mindless Ones

Blurb Writer
London/Brighton
SILENCE! Podcast
£6.34 per anus

Experienced, imaginative blurb writer needed for upbeat podcast working with a highly motivated team committed to frequent regular content at the highest level…
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Here we are again with a giant-sized container of content for you, the dear listener.

<ITEM> Talking about stuff including Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die‘s recent trip to Glasgow Comic Con.

<ITEM> Lorne Brown’s Comics And Beer event in Brighton.

<ITEM> Gary Lactus takes two boxes of childhood to tat dealer Lorne Brown and records the results in Gary Lactus Sells Out.

<ITEM> It’s off tom The Reviewniverse where your pals digest Third World War, People Protector Akay: The Devil’s Pawn by Dom Regan, Giant-Size X-Statix, House of X, Secret Warps: Arach-Knight, Green Lantern, Marilyn Manor and a load of other stuff in a series of inevitable digressions.

<ITEM> It’s SILENCE! To Astonish with Gary, Mr. Die and Al Kennedy of House To Astonish bothering Nick Roche, Chip Zdarsky, Al Ewing and Kelly Kanayama in front of an audience of tolerant souls.

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

silencepodcast@gmail.com

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Right then. Quick blurb.

Blurb.

There we go.

In this episode Gary Lactus is sad but happy to be podding with his best pal The Beast Must Die.

They’re going to be doing SILENCE! To Astonish! at Glasgow Comic Con. Fine.

In this issue they talk about Pope Hats, Poo Pants, Mad Magazine, Superman Year One, End Of The Fucking World, Immortal Hulk, Sonata, To The Death and other digressions. Also The Beast has seen Into The Spiderverse and loved it just like everyone else, the sheep. Why couldn’t he just have a hot take on it for the click bait? Oh yeah, and there’s another Beast Unboxing in a toilet.

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

silencepodcast@gmail.com

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I KNOW YOU WANNA HOLD MY HAND, I KNOW YOU’RE GONNA LOVE MY BAND

BEEEEEP

Listen, I know you’re there, so pick up the phone. I can wait….Look I know you, I’ve been your agent for 20 years. I know when you’re ignoring me. Listen, they just need this blurb okay? Correction – they needed it yesterday. So just write the damn thing William Shakespeare! Get back to me.

*CLICK*

BEEEEEP

ANSWER THE GODDAMN PHONE! COME OUT FROM UNDER THE TABLE, GET OUT OF THE BATHTUB, WHATEVER! Just…it’s not that…hard. Just write me a god-damned blurb for this god-damned podcast! It’s not art! It’s not literature! But it pays the god damned bills and keeps the god damned light on. So please. For me. Pick up thy god damned quill, and write! Get back to me.

*CLICK*

BEEEEEEP

I’m coming round. I’m bringing weapons…

<ITEM> HOO HAH! It’s only a ruddy SILENCE! guv! Here to fondle your charlie browns and brighten up your day. Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die have dug themselves up and are ready to talk comics, comics, comics!

<ITEM> Adminge. Sponsorhitz. And ‘SILENCE! Because The Film Has Started…‘ with The Beast’s review of Ant Man & The Wasp and more importantly In Bed With Chris Needham.

<ITEM> PISSCRIME!

<ITEM> When Wakes The Reviewniverse? RIGHT NOW PUNX! Lotsa chat including Swamp Thing 60, League of Extraordinary Gentelemen: Tempest, Grave Horticulture, Demon by Jason Shiga, Eve Stranger, Immoral Hulk, Immortal Hulk, Hey Listen!, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and The Freshmen Force, Green Lantern, Hellblazer 40 and probably more. Oh and probably Game of Thrones. But more importantly The Shitpipe Chronicles.

<ITEM> NEW FEATURE ALERT. The Beast Unboxes, featuring the thrilling sounds of a man opening packages in the toilet!!

<ITEM> No more, greedy guts!

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

silencepodcast@gmail.com

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