What’s The Story?

The Penguin is free from prison, and has taken up a new career — as a crime fighter!

SILENCE! #150

July 22nd, 2015

Man walks into a bar. Wants to find someone to talk to about comics. He is shunned and dismissed as an irritant. The man leaves the bar and goes on the internet and tries to find someone to talk to about comics. The man finds Matthew Craig, Adam Englebright and James Wheeler. Together they make a podcast which people hear around the globe. The man imagines that the people who shunned him in the bar must be feeling pretty silly now. Yeah.

Click to download SILENCE!#150

Contact us:

silencepodcast@gmail.com

@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

SILENCE! #149

July 13th, 2015

 

YOU’RE A THIEF WITH STYLE

No blurb here people. Nothing to see. That chalky outline you see there? That’s where a blurb used to be. Good blurb. An honest blurb. Till some punk just walked up to it, blew it away. Now this town got one less blurb in it, and ain’t it just that little bit colder for it?

<ITEM> Well well well. Well. Well? Good, then let’s bear down for midterms with SILENCE!, the podcast that walks like a monkey and smells like one too. Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die skirt the very outskirts of professionalism in the way that only they can.

<ITEM> Sponsorshibboleth, SILENCE! News reports on the hott comixzz nuce from SDCC, The Beast Must Die talks the Cindy & Biscuit entry at TV Tropes, and we unveil the shambolic SILENCE! Patreon!

<ITEM> Open our hearts gentle people, sing like angels and join us in The Reviewniverse, for a vigorous bout of comics fisticuffs. The frankly bafflingly weird Bloodstrike leads the pack, after the boys fail to review Providence. Then it’s Archie, Omega Men, Batman, Cheer Up, Constantine, Section 8, Starfire, Injection, Strange Fruit and 2000AD

Click to download SILENCE!#149

Contact us:

silencepodcast@gmail.com

@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

SILENCE! #148

July 6th, 2015

 

IT’S THE BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ IN THE DRUM OF THE EAR

Doug stepped out into the sunlight, blinking. His dressing gown lolled open, exposing his paunch. Tina’s vest top, pulled on accidentally in his rush to get outside barely covered it and the thick black hair on his belly poked out obscenely. In one hand he held a spatula; the other reached reflexively into the dressing gown pocket for the lighter he knew wasn’t there. Last night’s beer emanated from his stale mouth and he rubbed his tongue across his teeth. He wanted to belch but found he couldn’t. Taking his eyes from the sky for a moment he glanced to his left. Kathy was stood on her front lawn, gazing upward with her mouth hanging slackly open. Her two year old hung at her legs, pulling on her arm sleeve whining in a low, insistent tone. Across the road the Petersons crowded around their camper van, all staring up.

The vast alien structure that hovered high above them was still humming it’s deep bass tone and rotating slowly. The bone like growths that sprouted from it creaked as they slowly undulated. The noise was awful, too much, too loud for Sunday morning. Doug couldn’t take his eyes from it, but his brain had already started to hanker for a Bloody Mary. Just as he was trying to remember if the tomato juice was still okay to drink, a jagged split opened up in the base of the structure. And that’s when it really began.

<ITEM> There’s a fresh crop of admin, waiting to be picked, with nosey bouquets of Sponsorship and more Christopher Walken than you can shake a (Walken) stick at. It’s time for a new SILENCE! the only podcast that predates the discovery of the moon. Seasoned pod jockeys The Beast Must Die and gary Lactus are joined by new season recruit Bobsy, and the fun flows like lava,

<ITEM> Grab your loved ones, batten down the hatches and hope for the best…here comes the Reviewniverse! And it’s a humdinger, packed full of nutritious good stuff, such as Martian Manhunter, Dr Fate, Black Canary, Robin: Son of Batman, we Are Robin, Doomed, JLA, Batgirl, Alan Moore, Berlin, Adventures of Tad Martin, The Amateurs, Airboy, 8House: Arclight, Zero, Annihilator, 18 Days, Kaptara, Crossed: Badlands, The Spire, Mythic, Fantasy Sports, Fury, World War Z, Channing Tatum, Tom Hardy, Lost Property, Material, Surface, Wicked & Divine and somehow even more…
<ITEM> Bobsy sings!

Click to download SILENCE!#148

Contact us:

silencepodcast@gmail.com

@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

The Failure of The Filth

July 2nd, 2015

The five people who are eagerly awaiting my book on Grant Morrison and Chris Weston’s pestilent fantasy The Filth will note that the book has still not been released yet.

filth

That I have failed to finish this project in time for the release of the hardcover edition of The Filth will surprise no one who has retained interest in the project for this long. The fact that said hardcover contains just the bare minimum of fresh material  – a script for issue #6, some sketches that make the book even more difficult to read on the bus, the reheated contents of the charmingly crap Crack Comicks website – will also fail surprise anyone with a basic understanding of both comics and capitalism.

Good little enemy of the entertainment complex that I am, I paid to consume The Filth for the third time anyway. The hardback edition simulates the glossy colouring of the single issues rather than the battered bog roll of the trade paperback. It offers the reader a sense of solidity, of lasting luxury, that the previous editions lacked.

The Filth is a disgusting, slippery mess of a book. As Terrance Moreua said in the comments to one of my preview posts:

The visual grammar of The Filth is all over the place. The discontinuity being part of the point, of course. There are times when it seems to be Morrison’s script callouts (the tv cameras) and times when it seems to be Weston (background texture effects, etc) and times where it’s really fucking hard to tell (the goddamn photoshop transform tool effect to signify getting squeezed into the crack, or getting your personality fucked with in psychedelisex)…

Essentially, I find The Filth to be textually rich, garishly colored, expressively acted, disgustingly rendered and more. But comparatively poorly composed. I think there are too many components fighting for interplay. And while that’s part of the larger point, I think a little less noise and little more signal would have heightened the contrast between the two much better.

Another way to say all of that would be to say that The Filth is comics.

 


What’s The Story?

The nefarious Catwoman is up to her old tricks

SILENCE! #147

June 23rd, 2015

 

 
I GET PAID TO BREATHE, HOORAY FOR ME, HOORAY FOR ME

Angela Grimcock grabbed David’s shotgun from out of the umbrella stand, adjusted her reading spectacles. and looked in the mirror. Running a calloused hand through her blue rinsed hair she checked one last time that she had a hankie tucked up her sleeve. She fished a warm Werthers original from her pocket, unwrapped it and popped it into her mouth. Then she unlocked the door to 43 Arkensword Avenue and stepped into the maelstrom.

Mr Grainger came first, lurching through her Begonias, his face contorted with rage. His skin was mottled purple and red, and his black, swollen tongue poked out of his distended jaw. From a tear in his argyle sweater a new eye swivelled and blinked furiously. He was holding the remains of Miracle, his once beloved Daschund in one lumpen fist, and the small dog’s head lolled and buffeted against his trouser leg. With a strangled scream he launched towards Angela; she raised the shotgun towards her neighbour and pulled the trigger. Mr Grainger caught the blast fully in the chest and he was backflipped smartly over the Begonias, and into the water feature. David’s tasteful Japanese water sculpture bubbled crimson as Mr Grainger, one-time head of the Rotary club and organiser of the Salvation Army jumble sale expired with a keening wheeze, like a whoopy cushion.

Out of the corner of her eye Angela spotted the Bishop boy sliding his way around into her yard. She’d never liked him ever since she caught him urinating on her herb garden as a 5 year old. Now, as his twisted body flipped and swivelled on new joints and three mouths snapped like castanets, she finally took her revenge. The first shot took his arm off at the shoulder and spun him like a top; the second caught him above the back of the neck and his his head disintegrated. Pieces of him dashed against the garden fence and his spasming body collapsed like a deflating bouncy castle on a warm summer afternoon.

“It’s going to be a long Saturday” said Angela, with a grimace. “And I don’t even have a blessed drop of milk in the house. Black tea – it really is the end!”

<ITEM>Strap on your big boy pants and stride into town, cos The SILENCE! van is here delivering delicious frozen podcasts to all the kiddies and neckbearded babymen!

<ITEM> Sponsorship of the most efficient kind, just the way you like it. No shilly-shallying or dilly-dallying.

<ITEM> Podcasts bruv, they’re a game of two halves bruv in’t they bruv? Into the hallowed grounds of the Reviewniverse we go, with The Beast doing a run down of screen-printed hipster fest ELCAF, and discussing Adam Cadwell’s Blood Blokes, Charles Forsman’s Hobo Mom, John Cei Douglas’ Show Me The Map of Your Heart, Rachael Smith’s I Am Fire and Darren Cullen’s Below.

<ITEM> …then it’s Gary’s turn as he talks up Dr Fate, Prez, Ms Marvel, Black Canary, Astro City and The Fiction.

<ITEM> That’s it. Drop some money in the collection on the way out.

Click to download SILENCE!#147

Contact us:

silencepodcast@gmail.com

@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

Happy Birthday Shaky Kane

June 18th, 2015

To celebrate, here’s a short film made back in 2011 from Steve Cook’s blog, Secret Oranges.

The Shaky Kane Home Movie from Temporal An0maly on Vimeo.

SILENCE! #146

June 15th, 2015

 

 
 

THERE’S A MAN WITH A MULLET GOING MAD WITH A MALLET IN MILLETS

And then the robot walked up to the man and he said get out of town because you are a criminal but the man who was an evil genius cowboy said i’m not getting out of town in fact i will rob the bank and then he got his gang ane they did a raid on the bank and stole all of the robot money. All the robots cried and said oh who will help us but then spacehorse flew down and said i am spacehorse i am the heroic horse from space and i have super powers and can fly and the robots said the evil genius cowboy stole our money so spacehorse said i will help you and so he flew off. Later the evil genius cowboy and his gang were laughing and shooting guns in the air and counting all the robot money but then spacehorse flew down from the sky and he used his eye lazers and cut the evil genius cowboys gang in half and the evil genius cowboy tied to run away but spacehorse melted his hat and then flew up and then down really fast and landed on his head with his hooves which are made of space metal and the evil genius cowboys head popped like a balloon. Spacehorse flew the money back to town and all the robots threw spacehorse a party and they all drank and ate and fell asleep. While they were all sleeping spacehorse stole all their robot money and flew off and also did an atomic horse poo on the robot town and blew it up. Then spacehorse and the teen riders all had another party.

THE END

<ITEM> Welcome gentlefolk to the internet’s first, last and only comics podcast…SILENCE! with your decrepid hosts Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die. No-one make any sudden moves and it should all be okay.

<ITEM> Come one, come all to the hallowed fields of ADMIN, with a healthy dose of Sponsorsize (featuring GOSH! and Dave’s Comics), a bit more Geesin Bros love and a surprising lack of deviations and whimsical meandering. There must be something in the air.

<ITEM> What’s that peeping out through the clouds? Why it’s only the flipping Reviewniverse, and wearing it’s special trousers as well! Hello big fella! A bumper crop of comics as well, and a shocking level of syncronisation from the boys reading patterns. Anyone would think they were beginning to get their shiz together after 146 episodes. In the sights this week All Star Section 8, Midnighter, Constantine, Omega Men, Batman, Bizarro, Injection, Crossed 100, Saga, Blubber, It will All Hurt, Nameless, Captain Avengers and the Mighty Americas, the f*cking Carol Corps?!, 21st Century Tank Girl and more.

Click to download SILENCE!#146

Contact us:

silencepodcast@gmail.com

@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

SILENCE! #145

June 9th, 2015

 

 
 

HE LIES ON HIS SIDE IS HE TRYING TO HIDE? IN FACT IT’S THE EARTH THAT HE’S KNOWN SINCE BIRTH

“Cor blimey stroike a loight guvnor, wos all this about then, cor blimey ain’t I yer bloody great sod! I tell ye what me ol choina, this eer’s a roight rum bloody lark an no mistake ain’t it? It’s been rainin apples and soddin pears all day an I’m soaked to the effin bone I am guvnor, stroike a light guv an I even seen me fancy dolly bird all day noither…”

CUT! Why the f*ck did you hire an American actor to do this blurb? For f*cks sake this is a total write off.  F*ckin amateurs…

<ITEM> Admin, admin getcher self some admin! I’ve got a brand new pair of Sponsorskates…Gosh Comics and Dave’s Comics?  You know the drill. PLUS the boys have a celebrity friend bake off – Gary Lactus lunges with Warwick Johnson Cadwell and Tank Girl and The Beast parries with James Stokoe and Orc Stain.

<ITEM> MY EYES! MY EYES! Blinded by the insidious glare of the Reviewniverse…and within that awful black light is Zero, Non-Player, Secret of Monkey Island, Another World, Airboy, The Golden Age, Secret Wars, Amazing Spiderman, Kaijumax, Chilling World of Sabrina, God Hates Astronauts, Pope Hats and the Geesin Brothers.

<ITEM> BOOM-SHAKA-LAKA! FROM DOWN TOWN! Go home everybody.

Click to download SILENCE!#145

Contact us:

silencepodcast@gmail.com

@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comicsof London.