January 23rd, 2015
YOU DIDN’T STAND BY ME, NO NOT AT ALL
Oh well. you turn your back for 10 minutes and all the little piggies find themselves a NEW podcast to listen to. I bet this podcast has shiny baubles, trinkets and doodads that would make any listener turn it’s head… well let me ask you this dear listener, WHO LOVES YOU, AND WHO DO YOU LOVE???
SILENCE! that’s who. And just because Christmas sauntered into New Year like a saucy minx wandering into a sauce factory, and just because REAL. LIFE. JUST GOT REAL…do you think that makes it okay to just flip your wig for the nearest podcast that shakes it’s little tail-feather in your general direction??? Well do ya pilgrim? Whatever happened to HONESTY? INTEGRITY? INNERCITY (Good life, good life, good life, good life…goood life!)??? WELL?
Oh look I don’t know. I’m just paid to write this shit by the hour, and let me tell you the hourly rate ain’t great. So you get what you been given. And that’s a medium slice of podcast served up with a good dose of sass!
Gary Lactus & the Beast Must Die are here to guide you through the latest 4-colour mission pamphlets….so grab your Leiderhosen and letsbe avenue…
<ITEM> Relax ev’ryone..The OL’ SPONSORSHIP is here. And it’ just as scintillating as you remember. Somehow the pair find time for a discussion of Marvel Soooperhero films,and Alan Moore synchronicities.
<ITEM> What’s that coming out of the woods, it’s THE REVIEWNIVERSE! feat. The Humans, 2000AD, The Thrillcast, Colin McNeil, Chopper, Gore, The Dark judges, Judge Anderson, Savage, The Winter Soldier, Jupiter’s Legacy, Batman, Colin Hoult, N.Kanan’s Exit, Daredevil and just a bit more
<ITEM> Just time to big up Graeme & Jeff’s Baxter Building FF podcast and then it’s home for scones and dead badger pancakes. Ta ta!
January 21st, 2015
January 11th, 2015
January 9th, 2015
And we’re back… after a poorly coordinated Christmas break that was brought to you by the combined powers of sickness and having other stuff to do!
Our previous excerpt dealt with the methods of production of pornography and ended up questioning The Filth‘s efficiency as a way of dealing with the muck of modern techno-capitalism or some such shite. This excerpt picks up right where that one left off, almost like this is what I’ve been building to all along – the question of whether the only way to discuss the muck we live in is to live with it
Were there alternatives? When challenged by Greg/Ned on the horrors of the world and his role in it, Palm supervisors Man Green/Man Yellow seem to suggest that as products of this world we do not have an option about how much of it is in us:
Man Green: The crack runs through everything. And everyone.
Man Yellow: Without it, we would be perfect, like angels, and as dull.
Convincing as this rhetoric might sound within the story, there were alternatives – different Filths were possible, and which might even turn out to still be possible if Hollywood ever gets desperate enough to commission a big budget adaptation. Unless a work of art is created at gunpoint or under duress we should be ready to heap scorn on those who claim that they had to write the rape scene. Nevertheless, the question remains: would The Filth be as effective as it is if it didn’t contain what it tries to critique? The medicinal metaphor is invoked throughout the packaging of the collected edition (“The experts agree — nothing is more effective for shrinking painful existential eruptions”), but while this is yet another stimulating comparison, one should be careful not to mistake it for reality – a story is not an inoculation against other (similar/worse) stories, no matter how much we might wish it were so.
Two parallel cases present themselves within The Filth, and though they occur in the world of the story rather than in our world and thus operate by the boundaries set by its creators, they nevertheless illustrate two extremes The Filth avoids and in doing so make a limited case for its methods.
January 4th, 2015
January 1st, 2015
We met our fair share of dodgy fuckers in 2014′s comics, but I don’t think we’ve had anyone quite like this guy:
He’s the beard hunter. He hunts beards. His absence from our corporately mandated entertainment strikes me as being suspicious.
You got a problem with that?
December 31st, 2014
WE’RE WALKING IN THE AIR, WE’RE FLOATING IN THE MOONLIT SKY OR SOMETHING
Guests, guests, guests! That’s right! Guests! As The Beast Must Die was buried under a megalanche of seasonal commitment, Gary Lactus decided to throw a special New Years Eve party. Gary sure is a popular guy because he managed to get THREE guests to come to his brilliant party. I don’t know if you’ve ever had a party but three is actually quite a lot.
<GUEST> JAMES BAKER took time out from his third Christmas to chat about Isabel Greenberg’s The Encyclopedia of Early Earth, Young Avengers Omnibus, Wicked and Divine#6 and They’re Not Like Us#1. There’s also time to talk up Hayley Addis’s new project, Goblin Circus (go to haloquin.com) before he has to go and have his mystery dinner.
<GUEST> AL EWING ruined everything by coughing in the egg nog and going on about the Lille comic con. As revenge Gary reviews Mighty Avengers and Loki Agent of Sixis in his face.
<GUEST> MISTER ATTACK burst in and blustered beautifully about Transformers Vs GI Joe, Quantum and Woody and something called Super God Master Force amongst other things. Then technology broke and stopped the party.
Apologies to ED 209 who did some top chat which is lost forever. Happy new year everyone! I kiss you: XXX
December 30th, 2014
As a special festive treat, we convinced the man known as Plok – A Trout in the Milk; writes bubbles around people who write circles around your favourite bloggers – to write up his thoughts on the Guardians of the Galaxy movie, ultimate power and anachronistic/non-anachronistic adolescence as initially expressed to Illogical Volume after the author had suffered through a fairly hellish travel experience that ultimately led to a trip to Hairmyers Hospital (shout outs to the ghost of George Orwell!).
It’s a long one, but trust us, it’s worth it! Over to you Plok!
I haven’t done any blogwriting in a while, so this might be a bit…uh, rambly.
Apologies in advance.
So here’s me in some Mindless Ones comments, possibly being a prick about the Guardians Of The Galaxy movie:
“The Steve Gerber/Al Milgrom Guardians series from the Seventies is, for me, about as close to perfect as SF superhero comics ever got. I would’ve followed that thing to the ends of the earth; it really meant something to me. And it is so dead and gone for lo these thirtyodd years or whatever, that’s it’s like it never even happened. I saw a little of it boomerang back in Farscape,and it’s been suggested to me that this Guardians movie is like a brainless, artless, heartless attempt to do a Marvelized Farscape…
“’My’ Guardians have been 100% completely broken down and recycled to the point where the thing in the movie only contains naturopathicmedicine levels of that thing I liked, and that only because (possibly) it’s partly copying a copy of it that wasn’t even made in the world of comics in the first place…
“Gerber’s Guardians were a bunch of war vets who couldn’t fit in after their side finally won, and struggled with intense repression and thoughts of suicide. Nagged on by a mysterious, possibly omniscient being, they executed a number of SF psychodramas designed to bring them back to life, kicking and screaming all the way…and also a bit like Star Trek. But it didn’t last. After Gerber left the title, the characters were reemployed by Jim Shooter for his Korvac Saga, diminishing in relatability as they went on…a characterdriven book surrendered its characters to the milling process of the Shooter Era, and the major conceits of the Guardians were ground out. Mark Gruenwald kept Vance Astro from ever making it to space, during the Nineties Starhawk lost his specific symbolic heft in the same stroke that took away his mystery…and I don’t even know where Nikki ended up. I hope somewhere nice. And I didn’t see any of them again until maybe Farscape came on the air, though I can’t say for sure if Gerber influenced O’Bannon at all. But Farscape had the same sort of characterbased use of conventions as well as approximately the same setting and scenario, and a friend did cause me to wonder if maybe the GotG of today didn’t partly come out of a “hey let’s do a kindasorta Farscape thing” calculation…
“Gerber’s Guardians was about what stock SF situations of the Forties would be like if they were all populated by people from the Seventies…everything that happens is impossible to believe and totally absurd, but if you don’t find a way to take it seriously you’ll crack up. But then if you do take it seriously you’ll just crack up anyway, and so there must be an answer to absurdity butwhere is it? That’s the sort of thing that interests me, especially when it’s dressed up in SF and superhero costumes and (hello, Andrew!) Menippean satire.
Has GotG got anything like that in it?”
Yeah. I know. It doesn’t. But did I have to be such an arch motherfucker about it? Obviously it doesn’t, obviously it bloody well can’t. My beloved Guardians of the 70s were “cinematic” comics long before Alan Moore arrived at Warrior!, but they were never the type that could be made into cinema, at least not without losing everything they were ever about in the first place.
December 23rd, 2014
THE CLANGING CHIMES OF DOOM
It’s beginning to smell a lot like Christmas.
So it’s the time of year when Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die like to kick back, dress like Bruno Brookes and Janice Long and present their Very Special Christmas Jingle Spectacularmas…SILENCE! If there was a end of year best of lists for half-baked, ill-informed opinions and lazy plot recounting…well let me tell you, these boys would be topping that eggnoggin’ list!
<ITEM> A festive portion of Christmas sponsorship, ho ho ho yeah whatever. There’s some teary listener dedications from those rheumy eyed old sadsacks Gary & The Beast. Plus…the Grant Morrison / Midge Ure connection!
<ITEM> A festive portion of listener jingles courtesy of the one man walking Brill Building himself Gary Lactus. There will be blood.
<ITEM> A festive portion of The Reviewniverse ho ho ho with a festive portion of talk about Rumble, Zero, Thunderworld, Annihilator, Spiderman, Sex Criminals, Bitch Planet, Ms Marvel, Batgirl, All New X-Men and probably some other stuff.
<ITEM> A festive portion of favourite Christmas songs. Predictably.
All that plus some strange transmissions from the Multiversity…? I’LL TAKE TWO PLEASE MA’AM!!!
Well there’s only one. BUT WHAT A ONE!!!!!!
Merry cocking Christmas. One and all.
This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.